


Losing

by running2u



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, M/M, Romance, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-15 03:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/running2u/pseuds/running2u
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never wished to live his life like this. How could he forgive himself after things that happened?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired after watching SS5 VCR of KYUHAE. But, don't expect the action scene or shits here. Sorry for any grammatical errors and typos.
> 
> NOTES: All chapters are edited on 7 February 2015. :)

 

 

* * *

 

 _Pants – pants – pants_  
   
“Don’t stop running!!”  
   
He heard the panic in the latter’s tone. He didn’t know why, but he never heard his friend get so worried and scared at the same time, like this.  
   
BAM!  
   
He instantly covered his ears when he heard a gunshot ring loudly in his ears. He saw that his other friend copying him, his eyes were closed. The three of them kept running until his friend ushered them to run downstairs. But, the villain was so fast.  
   
It was too fast.  
   
The gunshot rang out again, more than once. He could only embrace his now unconscious friend tightly who fell down the stairs before. He cried hard as he closed his eyes tightly.  
   
And suddenly everything went silent.  
   
He opened his eyes slowly to see his unconscious friend’s forehead was bleeding.  
   
He gasped loudly seeing the most frightening sight in his life. His very best friend got shot on his chest, blood stained his white shirt. He realized that the villain was lying dead already.  
   
“H-hang on! I-I w-will c-call the—” His trembling hand tried to take his phone out from his jeans but his dying friend was faster to stop him.  
   
“N-no, H-Hae… T-take c-care of h-him. M-make him h-happy. P-promise m-me.” His friend moaned in pain. The tear rolled down from his eyes. “I a-am g-glad I could protect you two…” He forced a smile before coughing badly. His face was contorted in pain and breath was becoming more uneven. “Goodbye...”  
   
“NO!!—”  
   
Donghae’s eyes snapped open. He was panting hard. His forehead and palms were covered with sweat. It was only a dream, he told himself repetitively. He wiped the tears on his face right away and kept laying on his bed for a moment whilst staring on the white ceiling of his room, trying to recall everything before he closed his eyes again.  
   
“I hope you are here, with us.” He whispered to the air. “I don’t think I can keep your promise. I really can’t.”  
   
 _He loves you so much._

 

  
  
“Hey... When will you wake up, huh, sleepyhead?” Donghae chuckled as he drew open all the white curtains to let the sunshine invade the quiet bedroom and then silently gazed at the blue sky through the opened window. “It’s almost a month, Kyu. Why you haven’t woke up yet?” Donghae mumbled quietly whilst fisting his hands. He turned around and then watched his friend who was still lying unconsciously on the bed and sighed before settling himself down on a white chair near Kyuhyun’s bed. Gently, he brushed away the fringe away from the younger’s forehead. His heart winced again seeing the bruise, though, it’s already started to heal.  
   
 _I hope, everything’s gonna be okay when you wake up later._

 

  
  
“Hey…”  
   
He suddenly heard a faint voice calling him and felt a weak tug on his sleeve. Donghae groaned and then he realized that he actually fell asleep in his seat. Now, he could also feel the pain on his neck.  
   
Donghae slowly opened his eyes and he didn’t expect to see a pair of chocolate brown eyes were looking at his with curiosity. Kyuhyun tilted his head, waiting for him to say something. But Donghae was too surprised so he could only stare dumbly at him.  
   
“I’m sorry to wake you up. But, it’s better for you to sleep in your bed.” Kyuhyun said again.  
   
Donghae finally could say something. “A-ah… It’s okay.” He told Kyuhyun nervously. He paused for a moment before saying something again. “You are finally awake.”  
   
“How long it’s been already?” The younger asked.  
   
“Almost a month.” He answered, eyes wouldn’t leave the younger’s ones.  
   
“I’m sorry for being a bother to you.” Donghae shook his head. “And it seems… I can’t remember anything, at all.” Kyuhyun’s eyes were asking the latter to explain everything to him.  
   
The oldest of the two cleared his throat. He tried to look calm when actually his heart was beating really fast inside his chest. “Yeah, you lost your memories. Gladly, it’s not a permanent one.”  
   
“So, there is a chance for me to regain my memories back?” Donghae nodded his head at Kyuhyun’s question. He saw the younger let out a relieved sigh. “Then, who I am?”  
   
“Cho Kyuhyun.” Both of them smiled. “And I am Lee Donghae, if it’s necessary.”  
   
Kyuhyun chuckled, “Of course I will ask your name as well.” He breathed out before continuing. “Thank you, Donghae-sshi. Umh... Can I ask some questions?”  
   
“Sure. Go ahead.”  
   
“Where am I?”  
   
“We are in Japan. And it’s my house.”  
   
“Oh? I thought we are in Korea? Well, you can explain it to me later. So, why am I… staying with you? Who are you?”  
   
Donghae went silent for awhile. He wasn’t sure yet to tell Kyuhyun this. But, he didn’t have any choice, did he?  
   
“T-that… Umh…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “You’ve been living alone before. You never told me where did your parents live. So, I’m taking you with me, since… I’m your boyfriend, after all.”  
   
And there was a short awkward moment between them.  
   
“We are… a l-lover?” Kyuhyun reassured.  
   
“Yeah. Hmh, are you disappointed?”  
   
“Well, just a bit surprised to know that I’m actually a gay. Haha… But, I’m not disappointed to have you as my boyfriend.” He smiled shyly. Donghae was sure that he saw Kyuhyun blushing. And that was really cute. And somewhat, Donghae forgot all of his worries for a moment.  
   
Maybe it would be a good start for them both.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

* * *

 

Once he stepped out from his apartment, the cool autumn breeze greeted him gently. Donghae tried not to shiver as he pulled his coat tighter around him. It was really early, 6 o’ clock. He was going to grocery shopping. All these times, when Kyuhyun was still on his unconscious state, it was enough for him to just order takeaways. But, since Kyuhyun was still recovering, the younger needed a lot of nutritions. So Donghae decided to cook for him. He is quite a good cook fortunately.  
  
Donghae kept walking whilst humming a Japanese song he heard two days ago in the radio and stopped minutes later when he felt his cell phone vibrating. He quickly picked up the call after checking the caller ID.  
  
“Yo.” He greeted casually as he entered the supermarket.  
  
“Ohayou!” The person on the other line greeted in Japanese.  
  
“Why are you calling me so early?” He asked as he took the trolley once he arrived at the grocery shop.  
  
 _“I’m also surprised that you are awake already.”_ Donghae heard a light chuckle and he smiled. _“Are you outside right now? What are you doing, dude?”_  
  
“Yeah, grocery shopping. I have to feed him with healthy food.”  
  
 _“W-wait what!? Him?”_  
  
“Oh, shoot!” He slapped his forehead because spilling something he shouldn’t say to the other male, well, at least not now.  
  
 _“Man… You have to explain everything to me.”_  
  
“Damn you, Henry.” He sighed whilst picking the vegetables.  
  
In the end, Donghae gave Henry a brief explanation about Kyuhyun’s current condition and he would call the doctor again later for a check up. Henry sounded so happy to hear that Kyuhyun was finally awake.  
  
 _“He really couldn’t remember everything? I pity him.”_ Henry stated. Donghae simply replied with a short ‘hmmh’. _“So… Was it going as we planned before?”_ The Chinese boy sounded so excited.  
  
Donghae cleared his throat before answering, “It was.”  
  
Henry laughed, _“Someone is finally in relationship~ Congrats, Hyung!”_ And he laughed more.  
  
“It’s not something funny, idiot.”  
  
 _“Calm down! I was just teasing you.”_  
  
“I don’t know if I can do this. Pretending as someone’s boyfriend is not easy. I’ve never been in relationship. So--”  
 _  
“Geez, Donghae hyung. You are worrying too much. Just focus on Kyuhyun hyung’s health now.”_ Donghae sighed again. _“You’d promised him.”_  
  
“You’re right.”  
  
“Anyway, I suggest you to cook chicken soup for your boyfriend. I’m hang up!”  
  
“Yah!!” Donghae screamed but the line was dead already. He blushed hard when he realized that people were staring at him. “I swear, I’ll hit his head hard when we meet.”  
  
After making sure that he bought everything already, Donghae went to the cashier to pay.  
 

  
  
“I’m home.”  
  
Donghae greeted right after he closed the front door. Then he checked the time to know that it was still eight in the morning. He thought that Kyuhyun should be still asleep, so he went to the kitchen first to place everything he just bought.  
  
Before he started cooking, Donghae went to see Kyuhyun first in his room. He was surprised to see that Kyuhyun actually had woken up. The younger was sitting up against the bedpost, whilst staring out the window.  
  
“I thought you are not awake yet.” Donghae said as he managed to get Kyuhyun’s attention.  
  
“Donghae!?” Kyuhyun looked startled to see the older’s sudden presence. “You’re home and I didn’t notice that. Sorry, do you need something or?”  
  
The black haired man laughed lightly, “It’s alright. I was just checking. Well, I’ll go back to the kitchen now.”  
  
“Are you going to cook?”  
  
“Y-yeah. I’ll make you soup.” He informed.  
  
“Let me help--” Kyuhyun was about to slide off from his bed, but Donghae quickly stopped him.  
  
“No! You need to rest, Kyu. I will let you help me next time, okay?” Donghae heard the younger sigh in defeat before he went back to his previous comfortable position without saying anything. “Be right back!” Donghae then marched back to the kitchen quickly..  
  
He prepared all the ingredients whilst humming the same song and then rinsed the vegetables and the chicken before chopping it. Donghae was living alone after he graduated from college and he liked to cook, if he wasn’t that lazy or depressed. Therefore, at least he could make something edible to eat. Hopefully, Kyuhyun would like his cook. Donghae was quite anxious because he never cooked for the younger before. When they met they always spent their time in a fancy restaurant.  
  
The soup finally was ready to be served. He poured it into the bowl and placed it on the tray. Donghae then opened the fridge, grabbing out a carton of milk and pour it into a white mug. He didn’t forget the apples too, Kyuhyun’s favorite fruit. When everything was prepared already, Donghae carefully brought the tray for Kyuhyun.  
  
“It’s time for breakfast.” He announced. On the other hand, the younger could only stare at him in admiration.  
  
“You really did cook for me.” Kyuhyun said bluntly.  
  
Donghae put the tray on the nightstand beside Kyuhyun’s bed before settling himself down on that usual white chair.  
  
“Hey, were you thinking that I was going to order the soup from a food delivery and then claimed it as my cook?” When Kyuhyun replied him with a nod, Donghae laughed again. His friend didn’t change after all. He was still that straightforward magnae. “Seriously. My soup tastes better.”  
  
“I believe that. So, let me taste your soup, Donghae.”  
  
“Did you compliment me because you are so hungry? Or--”  
  
“Ugh, just let me eat, Donghae. You want me to recover quickly, right?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes at him and for the first time he showed his flippy snarky self towards Donghae. And he would like to see it more often.  
  
“You didn’t change at all, huh?” Donghae chuckled. Kyuhyun sent him a glare. “I’ll feed you.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“I’m not a kid!” Kyuhyun protested again.  
  
“Why did you change a lot in a day? I prefer your timid self when you just woke up.” Donghae replied sarcastically.  
  
“Whatever, at least I can get my soup.”  
  
And he couldn’t help himself to grin widely. Donghae was not sure if it was because the younger want to be fed by him or because he could win arguing with him. Maybe both.  
  
“Now, say ahh…” Donghae saw Kyuhyun scrunching his nose but he did open his mouth anyway. A faint blush were visible on the latter’s cheeks. Donghae then took the spoonful of soup to the younger’s mouth. “Good kid.” The younger furrowed his brows, he was going to snap back at Donghae, but his mouth was too full with carrots and broccolis.  
  
Minutes later, Kyuhyun had finished his soup. Donghae handed the milk to him and the younger drunk it slowly. Whilst Kyuhyun drinking his milk, the older was peeling the skin off the apple. He could feel the other was staring at him.  
  
“Apple is one of your favorite fruits.” Donghae told Kyuhyun as he cut the said fruit into small pieces. “Here.” He gave the apple slice to him. The latter muttered a ‘thank you’ in low voice before taking it.  
  
“Did you have breakfast already?”  
  
“Will do when I finish feeding you. Thanks for asking.” There was a moment of silence between them. Donghae was focused on peeling another apple and Kyuhyun continued drinking his milk. “I’ll call the doctor to check on you.” Donghae was the one who broke the silence. “Maybe you have to drink some medicines.”  
  
“Ew, that’s bad.”  
  
“You can stay in this room forever if you want though. Your choice.” Donghae smiled as he stood up. He had finished peeling and cutting the apple for the younger. “I’ll have breakfast now. Call me if you need anything.”  
  
“Donghae!” Kyuhyun quickly grabbed the older wrist. “Thank you so much for being a good boyfriend to me.” He smiled shyly.  
  
The older was shocked to hear Kyuhyun’s words. But he tried to hide it. “You are welcome.” He patted Kyuhyun’s head. “Get well soon, okay.” Donghae said before exiting the latter’s room. A sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes. Well, he still needed some times to get used with his new status as Kyuhyun’s boyfriend.

  
“Kyu, Doctor Park is here.” Donghae informed after knocking his friend’s door. When Kyuhyun said ‘come in’ from inside, he opened the door and let the doctor to enter first before him. “Well Kyuhyun, this is Doctor Park. He is your private doctor.”  
  
“Nice to meet you Kyuhyun. I am Park Jungsu. You can call me Doctor Park.” The doctor offered his hand for handshake and Kyuhyun smiled a little as he gladly took it. “I’m really glad you are awake already.”  
  
“Thanks for your help, Doctor Park.” Kyuhyun replied.  
  
“Alright, I’ll wait outside then.” Donghae excused himself.  
  
Once he was outside he took out his phone and saw a message from Henry. He smiled as he went to read the content.  
 _  
[01.30 PM Henry] Did you feed him well, Mr. Boyfriend? Haha! He loves your food right?_  
  
Donghae typed a reply as he settled himself down in the living room couch.  
  
 _[01.35 PM Donghae] I think I did. About that, he didn’t tell me anything. But he looked so grateful. Am I good enough as a boyfriend? Just kidding, pal. :)_  
  
He scrunched his nose as he read again the text he just typed. It sounded so corny but then he didn’t care anymore and quickly pressed the send button.  
  
 _[01.38 PM Henry] Awww… Someone is feeling it. Huh? Way to go, hyung. Maybe, soon you will be nominated as a “Most Wanted Boyfriend in Korea”!_  
  
He chuckled reading the other’s reply. When he heard the sound of the door being opened, he quickly typed a short reply to Henry and sent it.  
  
 _[01.40 PM Donghae] Are you kidding me? I’m just a young businessman, okay. TTYL!_  
  
“Hyung? Are you done with the check up?” Donghae asked as he stood up. The doctor nodded his head. “How is Kyuhyun’s condition?”  
  
“Everything is good. He’s recovering really fast, I’m really happy. His head injury will be healed in a few months and maybe, he will regain his memories back around that time. Well, it depends on himself and the people around him. Just, make sure that he won’t stress himself over this.” The doctor paused for a moment before he continued. “He asked me when he could leave the bed. That brat.”  
  
“Ah, right. He really didn’t like to stay too long in his room. But, is that okay for him?”  
  
“I told him that he should spend another day to rest. Then, I think it’s okay for him to do some light physical activities. You should keep an eye of him. The medicines are placed on the nightstand. I think that’s enough. I will come again next week.”  
  
“Alright. Thank you so much, hyung.”  
  
“And how are you? Still having nightmare?”  
  
“About that. Yeah, I do.” Donghae sighed.  
  
“Stop taking sleeping pills, Hae.” Jungsu ordered, his voice was serious.  
  
“I really couldn’t sleep without that. Wait, is Kyuhyun sleeping?” The doctor nodded his head again. Donghae just didn’t want Kyuhyun heard this.  
  
“But I suggest you to stop. It would be bad if you get addicted to that.”  
  
“Alright!”  
  
“I’ll take all the sleeping pills in here then.”  
  
“Hyung!--” Before Donghae could stop the older, Jungsu already barged his room. He palmed his face when Jungsu came out with his sleeping pills. “Seriously, hyung!”  
  
“Are you seriously can’t sleep without this?” Leeteuk asked.  
  
“W-well… I unintentionally fell asleep once while waiting for Kyuhyun in his room.” Donghae tried to remember. He then realized it was his first time to fall asleep without taking the pills before it.  
  
“Then your answer is Kyuhyun.” Jungsu smiled.  
  
“Are you kidding me?”  
  
“You are his boyfriend now, am I right?”  
  
“Who told-- Aish, that Mochi Cheeks!”  
  
“I really have to go now, Donghae. Good luck with for you and Kyuhyun. Take care!” With that Jungsu left, leaving Donghae in despair. His sleeping pills now were gone and he was sure he wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.  
  
“Then your answer is Kyuhyun.”  
  
“Damn it!”


	3. Chapter 3

 

* * *

 

Another sigh escaped his lips for the nth times already and then he groaned. He rolled over on his side and closed his eyes again but it was no avail. He then rolled onto his back and staring at nothing in his dark bedroom. He seriously wouldn’t get any sleep tonight. Now he regretted for telling Jungsu about his sleeping problem and let all the pills got taken away from him.  
  
Donghae finally made up his mind. He sat up and turned on the bedside lamp before getting out from the bed. He went to the large cupboard that located on the corner of his room and opened it, sighing out.  
  
“Man…”  
  
  
  
Kyuhyun woke up to the sound of a phone ringing loudly in his room. He rubbed his eyes whilst thinking why Donghae’s phone was here. It was obvious, the phone was his boyfriend’s, since he didn’t have his own cell phone, yet. Kyuhyun sat up and looked around. He gasped to see Donghae was sleeping with the futon on the floor, right beside his bed. He noticed that the white chair was moved to another side. Now he was wondering why Donghae didn’t sleep at his own room.  
  
When Donghae’s phone stopped ringing (Kyuhyun noticed it was a sound of alarm and he didn’t mind to turn it off) he heard the older man groaned. He kept watching Donghae from his bed until the latter fully opened his eyes. They were staying at each other for a brief seconds and suddenly Donghae widened his eyes, startled. He then sat up on his futon abruptly.  
  
“M-morning, Kyu.” The black haired man greeted in stutter. His eyes were looking anywhere but Kyuhyun.  
  
“Morning.” The younger greeted back. Somewhat he was amused by the other’s act right now.  
  
“Sorry, I forgot to turn off my alarm, it woke you up, huh?”  
  
“Nah, it’s alright.” He smiled, smirking a bit. “Well…”  
  
“I’ll c-cook you b-breakfast now.” Donghae tried to stand up but Kyuhyun restrained him.  
  
“Answer my question and then you can leave.”  
  
“I don’t need your question right now.”  
  
“Why are you sleeping in my room?” Kyuhyun still asked, ignoring Donghae’s words completely. The other clicked his tongue before he went silent. “Well, I know it’s actually your room because it’s your house-- I meant… Urgh, whatever!”  
  
And then Kyuhyun heard Donghae laugh. Kyuhyun gave him a judging stare. “It’s funny to see you get confused over something.” He laughed more and Kyuhyun didn’t like it.  
  
“I will ban you from this room!” Kyuhyun carefully chose the right word.  
  
“But I’m the owner of this room and this house, like you stated before.” Donghae said with a smug face.  
  
“Are you implying that you want me to leave--”  
  
“Nah, I’m not implying anything, Kyuhyun.” Donghae cut him before he could finish. “Let’s drop this topic, okay. Geez... Why are we debating, it’s still too early.” He yawned.  
  
“Actually, I was just asking why are you sleeping here and you were avoiding such a simple question.” The thought somewhat hurt Kyuhyun’s heart.  
  
“I planned to keep this from you.” Donghae said airily. And somewhat Kyuhyun got hurt because the older’s words.  
  
“Sleeping problem? Because I’m sure you're not a scaredy cat who afraid to sleep alone.” Kyuhyun concluded.  
  
“Bingo!”  
  
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “And you planned to keep it as a secret.” He deadpanned whilst looking at Donghae’s face. He just noticed the eye bags under the older’s eyes now. “Wait.”  
  
“Umh?”  
  
“You can’t get any sleep when you are alone?” Donghae nodded. “But you can when someone companies you?”  
  
“No.” Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows, demanding an explanation. “That someone isn’t anyone else but you.” Donghae murmured and Kyuhyun blushed furiously hearing that. He quickly bowed down his head. To be honest, it sounded too corny for his likes. But he believed that Donghae was actually saying the truth, wasn’t he? And Kyuhyun admitted that he actually liked it.  
  
“You should just tell me right away. I’m not going to forbid you to sleep here anyway.” _And you’re my boyfriend_. Kyuhyun wanted to add that but he decided to keep it to himself.  
  
“I don’t want to disturb you, that’s all.” Donghae smiled before he continued, “But, since you said it’s okay for me to sleep here… thank you, Kyuhyun.”  
  
“It’s your room after all.”  
  
“But it belongs to you now. So, you are the one to rule here.”  
  
“Just promise me that you won’t snore.”  
  
“Don’t worry about that.” He said as he stood up. “I’m going to cook us breakfast. Anything you want?”  
  
“Kimbap and apple juice.”  
  
“Say please.”  
  
“Please.”  
  
Kyuhyun watched as Donghae’s figure left his room, silently wondering why Donghae had a problem with sleeping and wanted to keep it from him. But he decided not to ponder on it and went back to sleep.  
  
  
  
The soft voice of Donghae woke him up later, telling him that he should eat his kimbap and drink his apple juice, not forget the medicine as well. Kyuhyun grimaced, he really hated that bitter thing called medicine. But then, the older man gave him a warning glare and he knew he couldn’t run away from this.  
  
“That pills are really not good. I hate it.” Kyuhyun protested when Donghae forced him to swallow the white pill.  
  
“Of course, Kyu. It’s not candy after all.” Donghae didn’t know that Kyuhyun could be this childish. The younger shook his head eagerly as he covered his mouth with his palms.  
  
“I almost puked out yesterday. You can call Doctor Park if you not believe it!”  
  
“I don’t have time for this, Kyuhyun. You are not a kid, right!?”  
  
“No! I don’t want...” He closed his eyes.  
  
Donghae slapped his forehead mentally. For a moment, he stopped forcing Kyuhyun to swallow the pill. He thought for bribing the younger with something.  
  
“You really want to leave your bed right? Then you should take this medicine.” He tried.  
  
“That pill is for my headache, right? My head is okay!”  
  
“It’s for prevention. So you should swallow this.” Donghae corrected. Seriously, why Kyuhyun had to be this stubborn, argh! “ Alright then, I will cancel our trip to park tomorrow.”  
  
“Huh? Park!?” Kyuhyun’s eyes lit up with excitement.  
  
“Yeah. Since you can leave your bed tomorrow, I planned to take you out. But, it may be a troublesome if something unexpected happen with you. I don’t want to risk that. Except you are going to--”  
  
Without any words Kyuhyun took the pill on Donghae’s hand and swallowed it with water. Kyuhyun coughed after that. He grimaced and the tears were already visible on his eyes.  
  
“You’d promised me!” He emphasized while using his sleeve to wipe the tears.  
  
Donghae felt sorry for Kyuhyun, but it was for his own health. It pained him to see Kyuhyun in misery like this. He knew very well that the younger really hated medicine since he was kid. Kyuhyun was rare to get sick before. But if he felt unwell (mostly fever), he rather to use foods as the medicines, such as soup.  
  
“Alright, we will visit the park tomorrow.”  
  
“I like you better than Doctor Park to be the one who help me taking the medicines.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“At least, you use the bribery on me. Yesterday, Doctor Park threatened that he would inject me if I kept refusing to take that white pill!”  
  
Donghae smiled awkwardly after hearing such information about Jungsu from Kyuhyun. His childhood friend seriously could be this childish when it come to this matter. Or maybe Jungsu used this chance to teach this kid, well, Kyuhyun loved to bully Jungsu before.  
  
“Haaah…” Donghae sighed.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Kyuhyun asked and Donghae only shook his head. “I don’t like Doctor Park. I want a change, Donghae.”  
  
“You can’t change him, Kyu.”  
  
“Too bad. But, it was comfortable to be around that old man though.” Kyuhyun added referring to Jungsu.  
  
“That’s good then.” He smiled. 


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

“It sucks.” Kyuhyun had muttered the same words for the nth time. He kept on staring outside through the window of the living room for a good hour already. “It’s your fault…” He blamed the older man, again.  
  
“I repeat, how it became my fault?” Donghae demanded an answer from Kyuhyun. But it was no avail, the younger didn’t say anything. Donghae shook his head as he settled himself down on the couch. He turned on the TV and quickly searched for a weather forecast channel. “ _It will be rain for three days, non-stop!_ ” He said what he saw on the television in Japanese loudly.  
  
“Mind you. In Korean, please.” The latter retorted back right after Donghae stopped talking.  
  
“It will be rain for three days, non-stop! Do you understand?”  
  
Kyuhyun covered his ears whilst wailing like a little kid. He didn’t care what the weather forecast said. He wanted the rain to stop. He wanted to go outside, visiting the park with Donghae. He wanted to explore Japan, mainly the town he was living at the moment. It wasn’t that boring to stay at Donghae’s flat though. The place was cozy and warm, it was like home for him, as long as Donghae didn’t leave him alone. Well, everything would be fine, if Donghae was there. Oh, so corny.  
  
“But, if you were fast enough to prepare the kimbap, we could reach the park before it started to rain!” He said flippantly, still being a stubborn brat.  
  
“And we would get drenched once we arrived there? No, thank you.” Donghae said in sarcasm. Seriously, they could argue over this until tomorrow if Kyuhyun kept fussing about the cancelled trip today. “And you mentioned that, I think you should be thankful that we are saved from rainstorm.” He didn’t hear any objections from Kyuhyun’s lips after that. That meant, Kyuhyun agreed with his words. “I’ll go to my room. Just knock on the door if you need anything.” Donghae glanced at the latter before going to his room, leaving the still silent guy alone.  
  
Kyuhyun let out a sigh right after he heard the door of Donghae’s room close behind him. His mood was really ruined by now and Donghae didn’t do anything to change it. Was he expecting too much from his boyfriend? Entertaining himself, Kyuhyun took his finger and started drawing a sun on the fogged up window.  
  
Minutes later the sound of falling chair invaded the silent living room and Kyuhyun found himself crouching on the floor, shivering with fear.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Donghae was inside his room, sitting on his leather chair, checking on the papers before he printed them. He should be doing his work right now. Henry had been nagging at him since last night. Then, the sound of rain distracted him. He jerked his head to look at the window of his room. Rain was still pouring so hard outside and he deplored that. Kyuhyun was so pissed off and Donghae got blamed.  
  
A sigh escaped his lips.  
  
Suddenly a loud crash of thunder shocked him and Donghae was sure he also heard the sound of falling chair from outside his room. Donghae rushed out to the living room. He winced to see Kyuhyun was already crouching on the floor in fear. The sound of a falling chair must be the one which Kyuhyun had occupied before.  
  
“Kyuhyun!” He approached the said male. He bent down until he was on the same level as Kyuhyun’s. “Kyuhyun, look at me.” He tried to get Kyuhyun’s attention. The younger slowly lifted up his head.  
  
“Thunder...” Kyuhyun croaked. “...sound.”  
  
“Oh, Lord. I was so worried you know. I thought you fell off from the chair and fainted. So, the thunder startled you?”  
  
Kyuhyun looked hesitant, but then he nodded his head.  
  
“Are you okay?” Kyuhyun nodded his head again. “Then, I’ll go back to my--” The tight grab on his sweater caught him off guard.  
  
“C-can I stay in your room, please?”  
  
“If you want to argue over something with me, sorry, I can’t.” Donghae said.  
  
“No. I’ll be quiet.” Kyuhyun said plainly.  
  
“That’s good. You can stop gripping my sweater now.” He grabbed the younger’s hand and gave it a light squeeze.  
  
“Ah, sorry.” Kyuhyun said before he pulled his hand away.  
  
Donghae eyed Kyuhyun for a moment before he turned his body away and then he walked back to his room. Kyuhyun was following him from behind.  
  
It was the first time for Kyuhyun to be in his bedroom. He was waiting for Kyuhyun to say something, but nothing was coming out from the younger’s lips. Maybe his room wasn’t that interesting to be bashed by the younger male.  
  
“You can sit on my bed. I have to work on some documents.” Kyuhyun only nodded at him again. Donghae gave him a quick smile in return before he went to his desk.  
  
“What is your occupation?” Kyuhyun asked after thirty minute of silent. Donghae was glad that Kyuhyun finally said something.  
  
“A businessman. A young one, if I might say.”  
  
“A success one, if I might say.”  
  
Donghae laughed. “Hmh, not really.”  
  
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “How about me? My occupation. What it was?”  
  
“Nah, you are still a music student.”  
  
“A music student? Am I playing an instrument or?”  
  
“You are good at piano. But mainly, you are a singer.”  
  
“Wow, I have voice like a goddess.” Kyuhyun joked in flat tone. Donghae let out a chuckle while nodding. “Nah, I’m just joking. You don’t need to nod your head.”  
  
“It sucks.” Kyuhyun had muttered the same words for the nth time. He kept on staring outside through the window of the living room for a good hour already. “It’s your fault…” He blamed the older man, again.  
  
“I repeat, how it became my fault?” Donghae demanded an answer from Kyuhyun. But it was no avail, the younger didn’t say anything. Donghae shook his head as he settled himself down on the couch. He turned on the TV and quickly searched for a weather forecast channel. “It will be rain for three days, non-stop!” He said what he saw on the television in Japanese loudly for Kyuhyun to hear.  
  
“Mind you. In Korean, please.” The latter retorted back right after Donghae stopped talking.  
  
“It will be rain for three days, non-stop! Do you understand?”  
  
Kyuhyun covered his ears whilst wailing like a little kid. He didn’t care what the weather forecast had said. He wanted the rain to stop. He wanted to go outside, visiting the park with Donghae. He wanted to explore Japan, mainly the town he was living at the moment. It wasn’t that boring to stay at Donghae’s flat though. The place was cozy and warm, it was like home for him, as long as Donghae didn’t leave him alone. Well, everything would be fine, if Donghae was there.  
  
Oh, so corny.  
  
“But, if you were fast enough to prepare the kimbap, we could reach the park before it started to rain!” He said flippantly, still being a stubborn brat.  
  
“And we would get drenched once we arrived there? No, thank you.” Donghae said in sarcasm. Seriously, they could argue over this until tomorrow if Kyuhyun kept fussing about the cancelled trip today. “And you mentioned that, I think you should be thankful that we are saved from rainstorm.” He didn’t hear any objections from Kyuhyun’s lips after that. That meant, Kyuhyun agreed with his words. “I’ll go to my room. Just knock on the door if you need anything.” Donghae glanced at the latter before going to his room, leaving the still silent guy alone.  
  
Kyuhyun let out a heavy sigh right after he heard the door of Donghae’s room close behind him. His mood was really ruined by now and Donghae didn’t do anything to change it. Was he expecting too much from his boyfriend?  
  
To entertain himself, Kyuhyun used his finger and started drawing a sun on the fogged up window.  
  
Minutes later the sound of falling chair invaded the silent living room and Kyuhyun found himself crouching on the floor, shivering with fear.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile Donghae was inside his room, sitting on his leather chair, checking on the papers before he printed them. He should be doing his work right now. Henry had been nagging at him since last night. Then, the sound of rain distracted him. He jerked his head to look at the window of his room. Rain was still pouring so hard outside and he deplored that. Kyuhyun was so pissed off and Donghae got blamed.  
  
A sigh escaped his lips.  
  
Suddenly a loud crash of thunder shocked him and Donghae was sure he also heard the sound of falling chair from outside his room. Donghae rushed out to the living room. His heart winced to see Kyuhyun was already crouching on the floor in fear. The sound of a falling chair must be the chair which Kyuhyun had occupied before.  
  
“Kyuhyun!” He approached the said male. He bent down until he was on the same level as Kyuhyun’s. “Kyuhyun, look at me.” He tried to get his attention. The younger slowly lifted up his head.  
  
“Thunder...” Kyuhyun croaked. “...sound.”  
  
“Oh, Lord. I was so worried you know. I thought you fell off from the chair and fainted. So, did the thunder startle you?”  
  
Kyuhyun looked hesitant, but then he nodded his head.  
  
“Are you okay now?” Kyuhyun nodded his head again. “Then, I’ll go back to my--” The tight grab on his sweater caught him off guard.  
  
“C-can I stay in your room, please?”  
  
“If you want to argue over something with me, sorry, I can’t.” Donghae said.  
  
“No. I’ll be quiet.” Kyuhyun said plainly.  
  
“That’s good. You can stop gripping my sweater now.” He grabbed the younger’s hand and gave it a light squeeze.  
  
“Ah, sorry.” Kyuhyun said before he pulled his hand away.  
  
Donghae eyed Kyuhyun for a moment before he turned his body away and then he walked back to his room. Kyuhyun was following him from behind.  
  
It was the first time for Kyuhyun to be in his bedroom. He was waiting for Kyuhyun to say something, but nothing was coming out from the younger’s lips. Maybe his room wasn’t that interesting to be bashed by the younger male.  
  
“You can sit on my bed. I have to work on some documents.” Kyuhyun only nodded at him again. Donghae gave him a quick smile in return before he went to his desk.  
  
“What is your occupation?” Kyuhyun asked after thirty minute of silent. Donghae was glad that Kyuhyun finally said something.  
  
“A businessman. A young one, if I might say.”  
  
“A success one, if I might say.”  
  
Donghae laughed. “Hmh, not really.”  
  
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “How about me? My occupation. What it was?”  
  
“Nah, you are still a music student.”  
  
“A music student? Am I playing an instrument or?”  
  
“You are good at piano. But mainly, you are a singer.”  
  
“Wow, I have voice like a goddess.” Kyuhyun joked in flat tone. Donghae let out a chuckle while nodding. “Nah, I’m just joking. You don’t need to nod your head.”  
  
“Your voice is heaven. Heaven is the place for the goddesses. So?”  
  
“You are trying too hard.”  
  
“Well, I have the audio file.”  
  
“What? How could you? Did you record that?”  
  
“H-huh? Y-yeah…” Donghae was taken aback by Kyuhyun’s question. He lied. It wasn’t him who recorded Kyuhyun’s voice. But he couldn’t say that. “It was hard to ask you to sing for me.” And here was the truth.  
  
“A-ah. Alright.”  
  
A flash of lightning illuminated Donghae’s room. Kyuhyun gripped the sheet on Donghae’s bed as he quickly shut off his eyes tightly. And suddenly he felt a pair of hands covered his ears. Kyuhyun opened his eyes to see Donghae’s face was already so close with his. As another boom of thunder sounded, Kyuhyun gripped Donghae’s sweater tightly like his life depended on it. Maybe, he was also afraid of thunder before he lost his memory?  
  
“It’s okay... I’m... here.” Donghae hugged him right after the thunder had stopped streaking and Kyuhyun took a deep breath to prevent his own tears from falling.  
  
“Thank you.” Kyuhyun said and he really meant it. Because it was what he needed right now. Someone who would protect him. And Donghae’s hug was so familiar.  
  
That blurry vision which flashed on his mind after hearing that loud crash of thunder before was scaring him a lot. He was glad when Donghae came out to check him, but again, it was not the same with what he'd expected. Donghae was kind of-- Well, he shouldn't mind that, because, it was enough for Kyuhyun to know the older was worrying him. Even though he still couldn’t tell Donghae about that blurry vision he just got, not now. He had troubled the male a lot already.  
  
“The thunder is really scaring you, huh?” Kyuhyun heard Donghae. He responded a little late with a low hum.  
  
Therefore, some questions popped on Donghae and Kyuhyun’s mind.  
  
Questions which they couldn’t answer it by themselves.  
  
It was really bothering Donghae and making Kyuhyun filled with doubt.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

 

It was another boring day for Kyuhyun who only spent his day with sleeping. He opened his eyes slowly while rubbing them, feeling somewhat light-headed, so he decided to stay in his bed for a bit longer.   
  
Yes, he had been sleeping a lot, there was nothing he could do anyway, or precisely Donghae didn’t let him. The older man was afraid if he got exhausted and obviously it pissed him off a lot. Today was still raining as well and Donghae insisted that it was a good time for him to rest more. According to the weather forecast, tomorrow would be sunny. Kyuhyun hoped so.  
  
Looking around the room, he then stared at the clock which hanging on the wall. It was still early in the morning but Kyuhyun couldn’t see Donghae in his futon. He wondered what the older man was doing, but he could see his boyfriend later, he needed time for himself now. He needed to recall over the dream he just got.  
  
The dream was about his childhood. How he met Donghae for the first time. Kyuhyun was Donghae’s neighbor and it seemed like he was so attached to the older male since then. He smiled a bit when he got reminded with the memory where little Donghae came to protect him from a wild dog. Little Donghae even scolded the owner of the dog. The owner was a boy around their ages. Little Donghae forgave the owner right after he apologized. Kyuhyun couldn’t remember clearly the face of that boy, but somehow he was familiar, too familiar for him.  
  
A knock on the door startled him. Kyuhyun just realized that Donghae was already standing on the doorway of his room with a tray of breakfast.  
  
“Am I interrupting you?” Donghae asked. Kyuhyun shook his head. “But you were so absorbed in you own world before?” He said as he walked towards Kyuhyun’s bed.  
  
“Why did you bring my breakfast here? You could just wake me up and we will have breakfast at the dining room.”  
  
“You are complaining a lot.” The older male replied with a smile. “I’m going to feed you.”  
  
“Are you always pampering me like this?” Kyuhyun complained, but to be honest he loved it.  
  
“Nah, not really. You should recover quickly and I’m helping you now.”  
  
Kyuhyun was silent for a while before replying ‘Oh, I see.’ in a plain tone.  
  
As Donghae started to feed him, Kyuhyun didn’t say anything more. Let’s say that his mood was unstable now or he was being an over-sensitive boyfriend.  
  
“What’s wrong with my bratty Kyu? You are too quiet.”  
  
“Hmhh… Nothing. It’s just the rain is pissing me off.” He answered whilst staring outside the window.  
  
“You will be seeing ‘Mr. Sun’ tomorrow.” Donghae tried to cheer him.  
  
“It better be. It’s… getting boring to be locked here for too long.” Kyuhyun carefully said. He didn’t really mean it as a bad thing. But his mood was seriously getting worse by now. He felt sorry for Donghae.  
  
“I can see that, but don’t worry, I’ll make you happy tomorrow.”  
  
After hearing that, Kyuhyun quickly looked at Donghae, staring at the older male’s eyes. That was the most touching line he ever heard from his boyfriend. Slowly, Kyuhyun’s lips curled up into a smile.  
  
“Prepare yourself! Because I will do a lot of things tomorrow.” He warned Donghae with playful tone.  
  
“I accept your challenge.” Donghae said with full of confidence.  
  
Kyuhyun now was sure that on his past life he had a lot of good memories with Donghae as his boyfriend. Donghae was a kindhearted person. He would never hurt him in any way, wouldn’t he? And it was obvious that he was the luckiest person in this earth to have Donghae as his boyfriend.  
  
Come to think of it, he never asked Donghae what’d made him lost his memory? Was it too early to ask Donghae this? Was it Donghae’s fault? Even so he would never be mad at Donghae.  
  
Because Kyuhyun knew and he was sure that he loved Donghae a lot, since the first day he met the older male.  
  
“You are spacing a lot, Kyu.” Donghae’s pat on his shoulder brought Kyuhyun back to his sense. “I know what you’re feeling right now, but, don’t force yourself. I’m sure you will get your memory back soon.”  
  
“Don’t worry about that.” Kyuhyun said to calm Donghae down. “I’m full already. You gave me too much rice.”  
  
“I secretly made a plan to get your chubby cheeks back.” Donghae winked. Kyuhyun blushed easily.  
  
“My cheeks are fat enough to be called chubby! And I don’t want to get more fats!”  
  
Donghae laughed happily, “Why are you so cute~”  
  
“Stop it!”  
  
 _No, please don’t._  
  
“Okay, okay! I will continue doing my work now and you have to rest a lot for tomorrow.”  
  
 _Noooo… Don’t leave!_  
  
The older smiled at him before completely walked out from Kyuhyun’s room. He sighed again when the silence filled his room again.  
  
 _I’m craving for Donghae’s attention a lot. What should I do? We are leaving together but he clearly build this invisible wall between us, distancing himself even more._  
  
 _I need to break it._  
  
“Shit, I’m feeling dizzy.” Kyuhyun muttered. He then reached for the painkiller on the nightstand and drank it quickly. Maybe Donghae was right, he still needed the rest.  
  
As he waited for him to feel drowsy, Kyuhyun wandered over his room, searching for something. The idea came to him a moment ago.  
  
He scanned the study desk near the bookshelves and finally he found what he needed. A pen and a book. He took them before crawling back to his bed. Soon enough, Kyuhyun’s eyelids became heavy. He stopped everything he was doing with his things and then went to sleep.  
  
  
  
Distracted, Donghae couldn’t continue analyzing the new documents which Henry just sent to him. His mind was too occupied with Kyuhyun. The younger was too quiet, that was very unusual for him. Even though he just lived with the male for few days only, it was weird to see Kyuhyun like this.  
  
Did Donghae do something wrong? Did he upset Kyuhyun? Was it another thing?   
  
And it felt like Kyuhyun wasn’t going to tell him anything.  
  
He really needed Henry to clear out his worries, like right now.  
  
“Are you busy?” He asked right after his phone connected to the line.  
  
 _“Yeah, a bit. Why hyung?”_  
  
“Too bad, I need to talk with you?”  
  
 _“Kyu?”_ Donghae hummed signaling that Henry was right. _“Alright. You get attention. Now, spill it!”_  
  
“Nah, I’m just worried, because he was really silent, it was something very unusual.” Donghae explained.  
  
 _“Did something happen to him before?”_  
  
“Ah, yeah. It was raining so hard since two days ago. He whimpered in fear when a thunder strike loudly.” Donghae heard Henry humming. “Wait, I don’t know if you could answer this or not. I couldn’t ask Jungsu hyung as well, he was too busy.”  
  
 _“Well, I hope I can answer it.”_  
  
“I remembered clearly that Kyuhyun wasn’t scared of thunder before. But two days ago, he was so freaked out. He even didn’t want me to leave his side.” Donghae kept ranting on as the memory played on his head. He felt his heart constricted in pain when he remembered the frightened look on Kyuhyun’s face. “It’s weird for me, Henry.”  
  
 _“Hyung, are you sure it was because the thunder?”_  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Henry sighed before asking, _“Does Kyuhyun always get freaked out with every thunder sound? Or only the loud ones?”_  
  
“Now you mention it, the answer is yes. It’s confusing me as well.”  
  
 _“Well, it’s just my speculation, hyung. I think that Kyuhyun hyung was starting to regain his memories, only a bit.”_ Henry stressed. _“The very loud sound remembered him with that incident perhaps? Didn’t he tell you anything?”_  
  
Donghae was silent for a moment before answering Henry’s question. “No. He didn’t tell me anything about him getting his memories back.”  
  
 _“Well, like I said. It’s just my speculation. Maybe, Kyuhyun hyung really scared with thunder before and he didn’t tell you.”_  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
 _“Just keep an eye on him, hyung. Like it or not, you are his boyfriend now. But more than that, you are also the person that Kyuhyun hyung treasures a lot.”_  
  
“Alright. I think I should’ve not disturb you more than this.” Donghae laughed a bit.  
  
 _“C’mon, hyung. You are not disturbing me. I know you need someone to talk, so, don’t feel hesitate to ring me, okay? Is there anything more?”_  
  
“Nah, nothing. I’ll call you later again.”  
  
 _“Well, bye then.”_  
  
The call was ended.  
  
Now Donghae felt bad to Kyuhyun. He realized that he was too busy dwelling with this boyfriend thingy, until he forgot that the most important thing he should be doing right now was to make Kyuhyun happy.  
  
But he couldn’t help to feel awkward at the fact that Kyuhyun was enjoying a lot to be his boyfriend.  
  
Now, that was also becoming Donghae’s question.  
  
Did you ever miss him, Kyu? Have you ever longed for his present, even though you couldn’t remember who was he?  
  
Also, was it true that Kyuhyun had started to regain his memories back? But, why Kyuhyun didn’t tell him anything?  
  
In the end, his worries were bugging him more.  
  
He should make sure that Kyuhyun was not hiding anything from him, so he could help the younger to heal faster. But before that, Donghae should make a perfect plan for their vacation tomorrow, hence he had to throw away that awkward feeling and be accustomed with his current status as Kyuhyun’s boyfriend.  
  
If only it was easy that easy for him.  
  
  
  
  
Kyuhyun was bored and annoyed. He already stood on the doorway for minutes already while shifting his weight from foot to foot. Donghae had asked him to wait for a moment when they were going to leave the house. But it was almost fifteen minutes already and the older male still hadn’t came out yet from his room.  
  
“Hae, c’mon!” Kyuhyun shouted.  
  
“I still can’t find it! Wait!” The older male shouted back.  
  
Kyuhyun huffed his cheeks. He looked up at the sky, feeling relaxed to see its clear view. He prayed that it would be like this until their uhh... date was done. Oh, he was feeling really giddy right now.  
  
“I’ll wait in the car, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, go ahead.”  
  
So Kyuhyun went inside the car first and waited for Donghae there. For a moment he enjoyed the feeling for being outside. Autumn was the best season ever and Kyuhyun loved it even though it was a bit chilly.  
  
The knocks on the window startled him a bit. It was Donghae asking him to open the door for a moment. Kyuhyun then did what he was told.  
  
“Why are you taking so long?” Kyuhyun pouted. Donghae smiled at him.  
  
“I should keep you warm, Kyu.” Donghae said as he put the scarf on Kyuhyun’s neck. “I prepared this last night, but then I forgot where I placed it.” Donghae chuckled.  
  
“Stupid.” Kyuhyun said, his cheeks were red due to the cold wind or Donghae’s kindness, he didn’t know. “Thank you, Hae.” He thanked.  
  
“Hmhh… no problem. We will go now.” He said as he stepped back for Kyuhyun to close the door. He then went to the driver seat and put the seatbelt on. “It’s good that the car is warm.”  
  
“Yeah, I turned on the heater before.”  
  
“Thank you… So, are you ready?”  
  
“No doubt for that.” Kyuhyun answered. “We brought everything already right?”  
  
“No doubt for that.” Donghae copied his answer and Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. He knew very well that Donghae might forget something.  
  
And Kyuhyun was right, Donghae had forgotten to bring his own bicycle. Yeah, Donghae suggested that the first thing he wanted to do in the park later was to ride the bicycle, yet he was the one who forgot to bring the bike.  
  
“Let’s just do anything else.” Kyuhyun was about to go back to the car to take his book with him but Donghae had gripped his wrist.  
  
“We can ride this bicycle together.” Before he could protest Donghae had prepared the bike for them. “I will ride it and you sit here.” He pointed at the seat behind the saddle.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Whyyy?” Donghae whined.  
  
“I-I might be too… h-heavy for you!”  
  
“You’re right.” He replied casually as he got on the vehicle. Kyuhyun was fuming.  
  
“Yah! Whose fault is this anyway!?”  
  
“Don’t you think it’s more romantic this way? C’mon.” Donghae winked his eye at Kyuhyun. The younger didn’t say anything. “And I was only joking about that. I’ve carried your body and it’s not heavy at all, really.”  
  
“Did you lock the car already?” Kyuhyun asked.  
  
“I did.”  
  
“Alright.” He settled himself down behind Donghae. Feeling awkward with his current position, Kyuhyun got off again. “Ugh, you can go alone.”  
  
“No.” Donghae caught Kyuhyun’s wrist again. “If you are not comfortable, just hold on to me.” Kyuhyun hesitantly sat back and circled his arms around Donghae’s waist. “Hold me tighter. I don’t want you or us to fall down later.” So Kyuhyun did. He was actually hugging him from behind. Donghae’s back was against his chest. Kyuhyun rested his cheek on Donghae’s back. Donghae’s body was so warm and it smelt good.  
  
Kyuhyun decided that he really loved autumn when Donghae was included.  
  
Was Donghae trying hard to destroy the wall that he built between them? If so, that made Kyuhyun so happy. He just loved Donghae more and more.  
  
Kyuhyun decided to save his what-to-do-with-Donghae list for later. Since Donghae had planned everything for him today very well.  
  
Right now they were warming their bodies inside the car. They did a lot of things already and they were so full after eating Donghae’s kimbaps.  
  
Kyuhyun was busy watching the falling leaves until Donghae called his name. He looked at Donghae and startled when the male fixed the scarf for him.  
  
“Well, are you happy?” Donghae asked.  
  
“Hmhh… yeah. It’s really beautiful here. Is Japan always this beautiful during autumn?”  
  
“In my opinion, yes.”  
  
They fell into silence again and Kyuhyun looked anywhere but Donghae.  
  
“Stop staring at me like that.” Kyuhyun warned, he used his scarf to hide his flushed face. Donghae chuckled but he complied anyway.  
  
“I’ll buy us a cup of hot coffee. Wait here.”  
  
“I’ll go with you.”  
  
“You want to drink at the coffee shop instead?” Donghae offered.  
  
“That’s good.”  
  
“Alright. Maybe we can have a talk there.”  
  
“That sounds not really good to me.” Donghae chuckled again as they walked out from the car. “It’s getting colder.” Kyuhyun muttered as they went to the nearest coffee shop. Much for his surprise, Donghae took one of his hands and shoved their intertwined hands into the older male’s pocket. The gesture really touched his heart. “T-thanks.”  
  
“It’s warmer like this, isn’t it?”  
  
When they arrived, Kyuhyun went to find the empty table for them while Donghae went to order the coffee. Not long after that, Donghae came to join him.  
  
“What is it?” Kyuhyun asked.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You said you want to have a talk with me. What is it?”  
  
“Oh…” Donghae paused. “I just want to know… do you… like staying with me? Be honest okay? I can take your harsh comment, don’t worry.”  
  
“Pfftt…” Kyuhyun tried hard not to laugh. The waitress interrupted him but they thanked her to bring their orders. Kyuhyun sipped his Americano coffee and he liked the taste. “Is this my favorite?”  
  
“Yes.” Donghae smiled again. Kyuhyun swore that he was addicted to the taste. “Now answer my question.”  
  
“I… I like it.” He answered. His face heated up.  
  
“The coffee or?”  
  
“Staying with you, stupid.”  
  
“You know right that I’ll be taking care of you. I will do anything.” Kyuhyun waited Donghae to continue. “So, I hope that you won’t hide anything for me. If you are feeling not good with your body, you have to--”  
  
Kyuhyun cut him. “Donghae. I’m okay. I’m feeling much better everyday, because of you.”  
  
“I’m serious.”  
  
“So am I, Hae.”  
  
Donghae sighed. “Last question.” Kyuhyun waited for him again. “Did you... start to remember something already?”  
  
Kyuhyun was shocked but he tried hard not to show it to Donghae. He sipped his coffee first before answering. He decided to tell Donghae about his dream, not the scary vision he got two days ago. Kyuhyun didn’t understand himself why he couldn’t tell Donghae about that one.  
  
“Well, I didn’t mean to hide this from you. I’m just not sure if that was part of my memories from the past or only a dream.”  
  
“And you are going to keep it to yourself if I didn’t ask you.”  
  
“It’s not like that.”  
  
“It’s okay. Now tell me.”  
  
“I dreamed the childhood. I dreamed the moment when we met for the first time.” A smile graced on Kyuhyun’s lips as he remembered that sweet dream of his. “You approached me and said that you wanted to be my friend. It seemed that I was so attached to you before?”  
  
“Well.. we met when we were eleven. You just moved into the neighborhood. You lived with your uncle only.” Donghae cleared it for Kyuhyun. “Nah, you are not too attached to me. You were very independent since you are a little. Maybe that part was purely your dream.”  
  
“Ah… okay.”  
  
“See? It’s not bad to share it with me right?” Kyuhyun nodded his head. “Did you have anything else to tell?”  
  
“Nothing more for now.”  
  
Donghae stared at Kyuhyun for a while before he drank his own hot black coffee. He was thinking that Kyuhyun still hiding something for him. But he could wait. After all he had been hiding a lot of things from the younger male as well. But it’s different on his case.  
  
“Thanks for today, Donghae.”  
  
“You are very welcome. It makes me happy when you are happy.”  
  
“So corny.” Kyuhyun laughed, butterflies filled his stomach.  
  
They talked about random things after that, mostly about Donghae. Kyuhyun was itching to ask Donghae about what happened to him before. But he didn’t want to ruin this moment. Maybe he would wait until Donghae spilled the beans to him instead.  
  
It was evening when they decided to head back home. Kyuhyun fell asleep on their way back and Donghae had to carry Kyuhyun’s body to his bedroom. He laid Kyuhyun’s body carefully on the bed and took off Kyuhyun’s scarf and coat before he took off his.  
  
Too tired and too lazy to take his futon from his own room, Donghae decided to sleep on Kyuhyun’s bed instead. So he went to the other side of the bed and lied his body there, his back facing Kyuhyun instead. He just had to wake up before Kyuhyun tomorrow to avoid any awkwardness.  
  
Donghae yawned before he completely went into deep slumber.  
  
During midnight Kyuhyun stirred from his sleep because something warm kept tickling his nape. He blamed his over sensitive skin. When he was completely awake he felt someone was hugging him from behind. Kyuhyun should make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. Donghae was sleeping beside him for real. Kyuhyun bit his lip, internally screaming. Carefully he turned his body around. Donghae’s face was so close to him and the older male’s warm breath was tickling his face. It was such a good feeling and he wanted to stay like this forever.  
  
He wanted to stay awake, staring at Donghae’s sleeping face till the morning came. But the sleepiness beat him. He inched closer and snuggled his face on Donghae’s chest. Never in his days had Kyuhyun slept so peacefully like tonight.  
  
Maybe Kyuhyun had to hide Donghae’s futon somewhere so he could sleep with the older male like this everyday?  
  
That sounded like a good idea.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Kyuhyun stirred up due to the noisy sound that Donghae was making. He rubbed his eyes to get a better sight, but only to see the older’s back facing him. Kyuhyun knowledged that Donghae was busy putting his futon into the cupboard in the room. He watched for a moment before surprising the other man.  
  
“Morning!” He shouted. Kyuhyun giggled when he saw Donghae looked so surprised. He smiled warmly when his boyfriend looked at him over his shoulder.  
  
“K-Kyu? Ah, m-morning. Sorry, I woke up y-you up.” He stuttered before closing the cupboard and locking it.  
  
 _Why is he like that? Is it because what I did last night?_  
  
He sighed, “It’s okay, Hae. No need to apologize.” Kyuhyun checked the clock before asking at the older man. “What are you doing?”  
  
“O-oh! Just moving my futon here.” Donghae laughed awkwardly. “W-well, I’ll prepare the breakfast for us.”  
  
Kyuhyun nodded his head and muttered ‘thank you’. He watched Donghae put the cupboard key on the study desk before exiting the room. When the older’s figure was gone from Kyuhyun’s sight, he smirked.  
  
 _Nah, you don’t need that futon anymore. You have my bed._  
  
He climbed down from his bed and walked over the study desk. He took the key with him and decided to hide it somewhere.  
  
Kyuhyun couldn’t stop smiling to know that Donghae would sleep by his side every night instead of sleeping on his futon, alone.  
  
He wanted to squeal.  
  
But then, the thought of Donghae being so awkward over him came to his mind. Kyuhyun wondered why the older male was holding himself too much. It bit Kyuhyun’s curiosity even more. Donghae should know that his act had hurt him in some ways.  
  
Maybe Donghae just didn’t know how to start it?  
  
Maybe he should be the one who did it instead?  
  
 _It is okay now, Hae. I’m ready to start it again with you._  
  
  
  
Donghae sighed loudly as he focused on his cooking. He couldn’t stop thinking with what happened this morning. He woke up to see Kyuhyun’s figure sleeping next to him. Not to mention, their face was so close to each other. He felt his heart raced up remembering it. It was still so clear in his mind. He even spent some minutes to stare at the younger’s sleeping face.  
  
“That should never happen again.” He said to himself. “I think, I have to sleep in my own room again. Screw the nightmare. I have to deal with that anyway. It’s not like, I’ll always be sleeping in the same room with Kyuhyun.”  
  
He was silent for awhile before messing his own hair. Donghae tried to deny that sleeping with Kyuhyun by his side was more comfortable rather than sleeping alone on his futon. But he should know his limit.  
  
“Hyung!” Kyuhyun’s voice had shocked him again. He accidentally bumped his head on the unclosed upper kitchen cabinet door.  
  
“Ouch!”  
  
“Oh my God! I’m sorry!” He heard the younger’s worry tone.  
  
“It’s okay!” Donghae rubbed his head as he went back to stir the soup again. “You shocked me twice already by the… way…” He whispered the last word when he felt Kyuhyun pulled away his hand.  
  
“Does it hurt here?” The younger asked softly whilst rubbing Donghae’s injured head.  
  
“I said, it’s okay. Thanks though.” Donghae said with a smile. Kyuhyun then pulled his hand away.  
  
“Need some help?” Kyuhyun asked.  
  
“I thought you’ll never offer yourself.” Donghae laughed but had to stop when Kyuhyun jabbed his ribs with his finger. “I’m just kidding!”  
  
Kyuhyun pouted his lips before he helped Donghae preparing the breakfast.  
  
Thirty minutes passed and both of them done preparing the breakfast. Although Kyuhyun kept messing up, Donghae didn’t mind it. It was the time for the younger to do some activities anyway. He did notice that the younger was fine enough to do some light works.  
  
“Is it edible?” Kyuhyun asked, unsure with the cook he was made with Donghae.  
  
“Alright, I will taste it first for you.” Donghae picked the meat with his chopsticks before shoving it into his mouth. He took a moment to taste it. “It’s really delicious.”  
  
“I’m not helping you with the meat, Donghae.” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. Donghae couldn’t help but to laugh again. He really couldn’t trick the guy. “I will taste it then.” Kyuhyun tasted the soup he had cooked. Kyuhyun grimaced. “Shit. We won’t eat this.” He announced.  
  
“Why? Let me taste it.”  
  
“No! You don’t have--”  
  
“I insist.” And Donghae tasted the soup. “Not bad.”  
  
“What? Stop acting nice and you don’t have to please me.”  
  
“Eat the soup with the meat sauce. It tastes really good.” Donghae saw Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders. The younger didn’t care anymore. “You are so stubborn.” He spooned the sauce and then the soup for Kyuhyun. “Try this.”  
  
Kyuhyun was hesitant but he opened his mouth anyway. “Your sauce is really delicious.” Donghae flicked Kyuhyun’s forehead. “Ouch! What’s that for!?”  
  
“Just eat.”  
  
“Ugh, it does hurt, you know.” Kyuhyun complained, his voice was almost unheard. Donghae hid his smile.  
  
After done with their breakfast, they just sat still on their dining chair. Kyuhyun watched Donghae drink his juice whilst silently observing the male. He was very thankful that Donghae wanted to take care of him. Since Donghae said that he himself never told the older about his parents. Now, he only wanted to see Donghae happy and he would do anything for it.  
  
“Hae?” Kyuhyun called.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
Kyuhyun leaned closer to Donghae, taking the curly hair under the older man’s ear with his fingers. “You should cut your hair. It’s getting longer.” He said as he looked at Donghae’s eyes.  
  
Donghae looked anywhere but the younger. He sighed in relief when Kyuhyun went back to his seat. “Maybe you’re right.”  
  
“Did you ever check on yourself? Geez.” Kyuhyun snarked.  
  
“Yah! Your hair is getting longer as well.” Donghae tried to defend himself.  
  
“It’s not like I can go anywhere by myself though?” He pointed out and Donghae had to agree. “No offense.”  
  
“Nah, you are not wrong at all. Are you tired?”  
  
“Not at all. Why?”  
  
“We will go to fix our look and buy some things.”  
  
“Today!?” Kyuhyun sounded so excited. Donghae nodded his head with a grin on his face. “Oh, you are the best, hyung!” The younger hugged Donghae even though there was a dining table between them (it wasn’t that big anyway). “I’ll get myself ready now.” He said before pulling his body away and then leaving Donghae alone in the dining room.  
  
“Don’t forget your medicine, Kyu!”  
  
“Argh~!” Kyuhyun let out a loud groan from his room.  
  
  
  
  
That afternoon Donghae decided to bring Kyuhyun to the biggest department store in Osaka, since it was the nearest place from his flat. The first thing he planned to do was fixing their look. So he brought Kyuhyun to the best salon there. Once they were inside Donghae spoke to the hairdresser in Japanese. He asked her help to choose the best hairstyle for him and Kyuhyun.  
  
“She is flirting on you.” Kyuhyun said with a serious tone when the hairstyle was gone. “The women here are looking at you.” He said again, the jealous tone was getting more obvious on his words.  
  
“Or maybe they are looking at you?”  
  
“No need to demean yourself, tsk.”  
  
“I am not-- Kyu?” Donghae was taken aback when Kyuhyun held his hand and intertwined his fingers.  
  
“Whatever. I’m yours already anyway.” The younger said boldly and Donghae didn’t say anything. He could only stare at their intertwined hands whilst thinking what Kyuhyun just said. “Let’s sit there.” He pointed at the couch near the entrance.  
  
“A-ah okay.” He gave the younger a short reply. Donghae watched his surrounding, the women were like judging them both, but then they went back to their own business.  
  
They were sitting there, Kyuhyun was still holding his hand.  
  
Since when Kyuhyun being this possessive? Not to mention, he is so easy to get jealous, huh?  
  
Donghae was sure he never saw Kyuhyun acting like this when he was together with his boyfriend in the past.  
  
Or maybe the younger never showed it when he was around.  
  
 _“Donghae-san. It’s your turn.”_ The hairdresser’s voice broke him out of his trance.  
  
 _“Ah, yes.”_ Donghae replied in Japanese. “Well Kyuhyun, wait here okay? Or you want go to look--”  
  
“I’ll be here, watching her.” Donghae saw Kyuhyun glaring at the woman.  
  
“You are exaggerating, Kyuhyun.” Donghae whispered, his tone was very casual. He was glad that the hairdresser didn’t understand Korean. _“I’m sorry Yuki-san. He was kind of... unwell.”_ Donghae lied and the hairdresser believed him.  
  
 _“I hope he is feeling better soon. Can we start now?”_  
  
 _“Thanks. And yeah, sure.”_  
  
“What did you say?” Kyuhyun couldn’t help but ask.  
  
“Nothing. I’ll go with her. And don’t get lost, okay?” Kyuhyun didn’t say anything. Donghae sensed that his friend was really mad now. He didn’t know what to do anymore so he went to kiss Kyuhyun’s cheek. “Stop sulking, please.”  
  
“I-I am n-not!”  
  
Donghae smiled. He patted Kyuhyun’s head before approaching the hairdresser. She looked so surprised but he decided not to say anything. Well, he didn’t need to anyway.  
  
  
  
It only took twenty minute for the hairdresser to be done with Donghae’s hair. It was too obvious that Donghae looked more handsome and fresher with his new hair. He likes it. He should thank Kyuhyun for suggesting him to cut it. He hoped the younger would like his new hair.  
  
“Kyu!” He called the younger who looked so bored. Kyuhyun then looked at him, his eyes went wide and then his lips curled up into a smile. “How is it?”  
  
“Nice. Short hair really looks good on you.” Kyuhyun complimented. “And I prefer you with black hair. Just saying.”  
  
“Why? Care to tell me?”  
  
Kyuhyun blushed. “A-ah, is it my turn n-now?”  
  
“Hey, I’m waiting for your answer.”  
  
“Later. I seriously want to get out from here quickly.”  
  
Donghae chuckled, _“Yuki-san. My friend’s hair need your help.”_ He joked. The hairdresser laughed.  
  
 _“Your friend is really pretty and cute. I planned something for his hair.”_  
  
“Oh God. Can she speak Korean?” Kyuhyun complained. He felt like an outcast. “I’m sure you two are talking about me. Whatever is it.”  
  
 _“Yuki-san said you have to smile more.”_ Donghae whispered.  
  
“I don’t believe that. Can we get this done quickly, oh God!”  
  
Donghae rolled his eyes at Kyuhyun’s grumpy attitude. _“Yuki-san, do what you think the best for him, okay?”_  
  
 _“Of course, Donghae-san. Please follow me, Kyuhyun-san.”_  
  
“What?” Kyuhyun snapped hearing Yuki call his name.  
  
“Follow her and you should stop complaining.”  
  
“Okay, Donghae-san.” Kyuhyun mocked.  
  
Soon, Kyuhyun and Yuki were gone from Donghae’s sight. He decided to kill the time with checking the daily reports of his company using his phone. Well, Henry had sent everything via email, so it was very efficient for him. He really should buy something for that boy later. A bunch of anime action figures were on Donghae’s list already.  
  
Thirty minutes passed. Both Kyuhyun and Yuki still hadn’t done yet. Donghae then sat up, leaving his couch. He walked at the direction of the room where Yuki had taken Kyuhyun.  
  
Without knocking, Donghae opened the door and entered the room. He saw Yuki was almost done with her work. But the certain person was currently sleeping on his chair. Donghae shook his head.  
  
 _“Yuki-san.”_ Donghae called the hairdresser.  
  
 _“Yes, Donghae-san. Your friend fall asleep. I’m almost done though.”_ Yuki told Donghae with a smile. Donghae smiled back and he decided to wait for Yuki to finish everything. _“It’s done. How is it?”_  
  
Donghae approached them and then he looked at the mirror, examining Kyuhyun’s new look. It took his breath away. Yuki dyed Kyuhyun’s hair golden blonde. She also put the eyeliner on Kyuhyun’s eyes.  
  
 _“He looks so beautiful, Yuki-san. Thank you.”_ He said.  
  
 _“I’m so happy to hear that. Well, I still have some works to do. Thanks for visiting, Donghae-san. It’s nice to see you again and your friend.”_ Yuki bowed her body, Donghae followed suit. The hairdresser then left the men alone.  
  
When Yuki wasn’t in the room, Donghae looked at the sleeping Kyuhyun. He wondered why the younger could fall asleep while he was getting a haircut.  
  
“Kyuhyun. Wake up.” He shook the younger’s shoulder gently. Kyuhyun stirred up and yawned. Donghae quickly caught his hands when he was about to rub his eyes. “Hey!”  
  
“Huh??” Kyuhyun looked at Donghae with his sleepy face. “Why are you here?” He asked, his voice was deep and slurry.  
  
“You took forever. And how could you fall asleep?”  
  
“It's because of Yuki. I couldn’t communicate with her. I was so bored and then I felt sleepy.” Once Kyuhyun finished his rants, he finally had the time to look at the mirror. “THE HELL!?” He gasped before looking at Donghae again.  
  
“What?”  
  
“What did she do to my freaking hair, Donghae!? Why is it so yellow and shiny, and what the hell with my eyes!?” Donghae kept silent. He waited Kyuhyun to finish his complaints. “Say something, Donghae!”  
  
“You are so... beautiful.”  
  
“What the-- h-huh?” Kyuhyun was taken aback after hearing Donghae’s compliment.  
  
“I like it. It’s like the new you.”  
  
“N-nonsense.” Donghae noticed that Kyuhyun was blushing. He just gave the younger a soft smile.  
  
“Well, let’s get out of here. We still need to buy a lot of things.”  
  
Kyuhyun stood up and Donghae quickly took his hand. He went to pay everything first before he left the salon, a smile was carved on their faces.  
  
The next destination was an otaku shop. Kyuhyun was amazed when he entered the shop. The younger kept squealing when he saw a lot of cute and cool anime stuffs, practically dragging Donghae here and there.  
  
“Why are you here? What do you want to buy? You love… what is it? Ah... a...nime?” Kyuhyun asked a lot.  
  
“I want to buy some action figures. Those are action figures.” Donghae told Kyuhyun and pointed at the said thing. Kyuhyun just muttered ‘oh.’ “I don’t really like anime though, I bought it for someone.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Henry.” He answered before he walked to the direction of the shelves where those action figures were located.  
  
Kyuhyun wanted to know who was this Henry. Did he know this person before? He tried to remember, but he got nothing. Maybe this Henry was Donghae’s cousin, a little boy who loved anime a lot. He smiled and decided to help Donghae choosing the toys, didn’t know that Henry was more than just someone he just guessed.  
  
He started to look around the Doraemon collection. He blindly took all the cute action figures of that certain anime and showed them to Donghae.  
  
“No, he doesn’t like them.” The older said before examining another shelves.  
  
Kyuhyun was confused.  
  
Kids obviously love Doraemon right? He asked himself as he placed back the stuffs at their original place.  
  
He searched on the other sections and took various cute action figures, but Donghae gave the same respon. Kyuhyun then studied the action figures on Donghae’s hands. Naruto, One Piece, Bleach and other shounen anime action figures were on his lover’s hold.  
  
 _Who is this Henry?_  
  
“Does Henry love these characters a lot?” He asked.  
  
“Yes, he is. They are his favorite.”  
  
“How old is he? I thought he was your cousin and a little boy who loves cute anime characters.”  
  
“Wait… How old is Henry hmhh… I think, he was only one year younger than you, Kyu.” Donghae casually answered Kyuhyun’s question. He was too focused with those action figures, not realizing the troubled face of Kyuhyun who stood beside him.  
  
“You should introduce him to me.”  
  
“He is really busy now. He has to cover the office for me while I’m here.” Kyuhyun didn’t say anything, instead he felt so guilty towards Donghae. “I’ll ask him if he could visit Japan in the end of month. It would be great.”  
  
“Yeah, it would be.”  
  
“I miss that bubbly boy.” Donghae smiled softly. Kyuhyun felt a pang on his heart.  
  
 _Stop worrying, Kyu. It’s not like what you think._  
  
“Be right back. Toilet.” Kyuhyun excused himself and quickly left Donghae there. He wanted to be alone for a moment to calm his mind. His head was a bit dizzy too.  
  
“Wait, I’ll company you--” Donghae asked.  
  
“No! Just stay here. I won’t get lost, okay!” Kyuhyun exited the shop without waiting Donghae to reply.  
  
Once he was outside he calmed his pace and patiently looking for the toilet signboard on this huge department store. He felt so small and lost, especially without Donghae beside him. But today must be his lucky day. The toilet was not really far from that otaku shop. Kyuhyun went in quickly, didn’t want Donghae to get worried over him. When he was about to open the toilet door, a man came out all of sudden, and they collided. Both of them fell to the floor.  
  
“Sorry, sir!” Kyuhyun unconsciously apologized in Korean whilst helping the other man to stand up.  
  
The man suddenly looked up and stared at him. His eyes suddenly widened. Kyuhyun was confused, very.  
  
 _What’s wrong with this cute man?_  
  
“O-oh! S-sorry!” The man finally said something in Korean as well.  
  
“Wait, are you a Korean too?” Kyuhyun asked the man, his eyes were sparkling.  
  
“Y-yes.” The man smiled. “Sorry that I bumped you before. Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah. Don’t worry.” Kyuhyun smiled as well. “Why are you staring at me like that before? I’m not an alien you know.”  
  
“S-sorry a-again! I-it’s just… It’s just so rare to meet a Korean in this kind of occasion.”  
  
“Oh, I see.”  
  
“Well… D-do you mind if we become f-friends?” Kyuhyun shook his head. “T-thanks! Uh… I hope I could treat you lunch or something, but I have to meet someone now. So, may I know your phone number?” The man took out his cellphone from his coat pocket.  
  
“Uh…” Kyuhyun rubbed his neck and smiled awkwardly. “But I don’t have one. I meant, not yet.”  
  
“O-oh I see. Wait…” Kyuhyun saw the cute man searched something on his briefcase. “Ah, I still have one, good God. Here!” He gave Kyuhyun a namecard. “You could call that number, anytime. I’ll be happy if we can go out one day. I will treat you lunch as an apology.”  
  
“Seriously, you don’t have to. But it would be great to meet you again.”  
  
“Okay then. But I still want to treat you.” He smiled. “I have to go now. See you later.”  
  
Once the guy was gone from his sight, Kyuhyun examined the namecard.  
  
 _Lee Sungmin._  
 _+81xxxxxxx_  
 _I just got a new friend? Wow._  
  
Kyuhyun was so happy and he felt good already. He decided to go back to Donghae and noted to himself that he had to ask the older man to buy him a cellphone later.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

* * *

 

“Die, you loser!” Kyuhyun screamed in joy after he managed to finish the last level of the new game that he just installed on his iPhone. “Suck!” He said whilst throwing the gadget onto his bed.  
  
Days passed like that and the only thing that accompanied Kyuhyun was his new iPhone.  
  
 _Where was Donghae?_  
  
The said guy had started to lock himself in his room, again. He said that he had to finish his works. Donghae even warned Kyuhyun to not disturb him. He would only come out when the time for lunch and dinner came. Worst than that, Kyuhyun’s plan about throwing away Donghae’s futon was epically failed. Donghae decided to sleep alone in his own room rather than sleeping on Kyuhyun’s bed. When Kyuhyun asked about the nightmare he usually got, the older also said that he should overcome it by now. Kyuhyun was trying hard to understand, though his inner self felt hurt. He honestly really wanted to lock Donghae forever in his room.  
  
Now, Kyuhyun was bored to death.  
  
And today was the day for Leeteuk to do a check up on him.  
  
The older was arrived twenty minutes later. Donghae came out as he heard the sounds of the main door being knocked. Kyuhyun popped out his head just to see Donghae’s figure. When the male opened the door, Kyuhyun saw Leeteuk with his white attire and a black briefcase. Donghae let Leeteuk entered the house and they talked about something. Kyuhyun couldn’t hear anything from his current spot.  
  
“Morning, Kyu.” Leeteuk greeted him casually when he caught him.  
  
“Morning, hyung.” Kyuhyun greeted back, his eyes on Donghae though. “Are you going to inject me with anesthetic?” He asked using a flat tone. Both of the males were taken aback. “Just kidding.” Kyuhyun finished with a smile.  
  
“What’s up? Did something happen?” The doctor asked back, frowning. The question was directed for the both of them.  
  
“Nothing, really.” It was Kyuhyun who answered. Leeteuk stared at Donghae for a moment.  
  
“Yeah, hyung, nothing happens. I’ll go back to my room, now. Load shit of works are waiting. Be good, Kyu.” After earning a nod from Kyuhyun, Donghae left the two. Kyuhyun could only stare on his back.  
  
When Donghae wasn’t there, Kyuhyun let Leeteuk to enter his room. He put his plain expression again on his face. Leeteuk only shook his head.  
  
Kyuhyun was glad that Leeteuk didn’t ask anything further about his question before. Actually, he didn’t mean anything by that. He only tested Donghae. He wanted to know the other's reaction. The surprise look on his lover’s face was amusing enough.  
  
When Leeteuk was done with the check up, Kyuhyun thanked him. The doctor asked him if he could remember something already, but Kyuhyun insisted to keep it to himself. He said ‘no’ and Leeteuk just smiled. He encouraged him that he would get it slowly and he exited the room.  
  
Kyuhyun didn’t tell that a familiar figure had come to his dream more than once since days ago.  
  
Kyuhyun also didn’t tell Donghae that he just made a new friend and planned to see him this afternoon.  
  
How many secret was Kyuhyun going to keep, huh?  
  
  
  
  
Kyuhyun came out from his room when he heard a faint sound of the main door being closed. He noticed that Leeteuk had left and then he saw Donghae there.  
  
“Hae. Do you have a plan beside locking yourself inside your room?” Kyuhyun didn’t mean to sound harsh. But He couldn’t help it.  
  
“Nope. Why?”  
  
“Nothing. Good luck with the documents.”  
  
“Are you going somewhere?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“What? Where?”  
  
Kyuhyun didn’t answer right away. He stared at Donghae for a moment before heaving a sigh. “Just want to take some fresh air outside.”  
  
“Alone?” Kyuhyun nodded his head. “But, you don’t know this area. You might get lost and--”  
  
“Staying in my room all day is not helping at all, Donghae! You are busy with your works and I understand much if you can’t waste it just to look after me.” Kyuhyun was furious but he tried to calm himself. “I have phone now. You can call me. Besides, I won’t go far.” He said as he walked out from the house.  
  
He knew that his words was too mean. He didn’t want to shout at his lover like that. But Donghae was too insensitive, wasn’t he?  
  
If Donghae got hurt by that, Kyuhyun was hurting as well.  
  
 _And I thought that you would chase me and say something like ‘I’ll go with you.’, but you are not._  
  
  
  
  
As he got into the taxi, Kyuhyun showed the address which Sungmin texted to him. He was glad when the driver nodded his head. Kyuhyun then rested his back on the leather seat. He hoped that meeting Sungmin was a good choice.  
  
He spent almost thirty minutes on his way and finally he could see Sungmin’s figure standing at the side of road. He told the driver to stop. As Kyuhyun came out from the taxi, Sungmin approached him. He was the one who paid the taxi fee and Kyuhyun too was late to decline.  
  
“I have some money on me, you know.” Kyuhyun said.  
  
“It’s my treat. I’m just happy that you are here.” Sungmin beamed.  
  
Kyuhyun was led into the luxury restaurant by Sungmin. The smell was really good in Kyuhyun’s opinion. To think of it, today would be his first time to have lunch without Donghae. The thought of the older male somehow affected him. Kyuhyun sighed and Sungmin asked him.  
  
“Having a bad day?” He gave a smile as the waiter came bringing the menu.  
  
“Not really.”  
  
Sungmin didn’t ask more for that, instead he asked Kyuhyun what he wanted to order. Kyuhyun read the menu for awhile before he ordered a beef steak. When Sungmin suggested him to drink wine, Kyuhyun hesitantly agreed.  
  
“May I ask something?” Sungmin started the conversation as the waiter left their table.  
  
“You already asked my name via text already, so yeah, why not?” Kyuhyun joked.  
  
“Well, why are you here? I won’t force you to answer that.”  
  
“Medication.”  
  
“Oh? Are you not well?”  
  
“No. I can’t explain anything further. But, I don’t have any mental illness or whatsoever, don’t worry.”  
  
Sungmin rolled his eyes.  
  
They fell into a peaceful silence after that. Kyuhyun enjoyed the blues music which was played by the restaurant’s band and Sungmin was busy with his phone. Honestly, he felt awkward around Sungmin, he didn’t know why. Maybe, because Sungmin was a stranger whom easily decided to make a friend with him. Or there was actually something strange with this guy.  
  
 _His face is too cute for a man, maybe._ Kyuhyun concluded quickly.  
  
Minutes later the butler came with their orders. Once it's served, Sungmin poured the wine into Kyuhyun’s glass. Kyuhyun thanked the male before drinking it.  
  
“It tastes nice.” Kyuhyun commented.  
  
“The best one here.”  
  
After the lunch finished, Sungmin asked Kyuhyun to company him. Kyuhyun couldn’t say no when the male giving him such a cute face. He thought that he really had a weak-heart for cute things, Sungmin was included.  
  
“Let’s take a break, Sungmin.” Kyuhyun had to take a seat at the wooden bench near him. He was too tired for walking by now. He didn’t expect that Sungmin was a shopaholic.  
  
“Hey! I’m not done yet.”  
  
“Seriously, I’m so tired.” Sungmin pouted and Kyuhyun looked away. “Can’t believe that you are not tired at all!”  
  
“Haha. I will do anything to get what I want, Kyu.” It sounded like a warning, the look on Sungmin’s face was not cute anymore. Was he that ambitious? “Oh… It’s 8 pm already. I didn’t realize it.”  
  
“What!? Sungmin, I have to go home now.” Kyuhyun was panic. He stood up and almost ran to the exit door. Sungmin followed Kyuhyun.  
  
“I’ll drive you home, Kyuhyun.”  
  
“No, it’s alright, I will call a cab.” And the thought of Donghae came to his mind. Kyuhyun’s heart beat faster. “Shit. He must be mad at me.”  
  
“Oh, God. Do you have an appointment with your friend? I’m really sorry, Kyu.” Sungmin apologized.  
  
“It’s okay. It’s just my boyfriend.” He replied before stopping a taxi. He failed to hear Sungmin’s gasp behind him because the taxi’s horn roaring loudly. “Alright, thanks for today.”  
  
“Do you mind if I ask you out again?”  
  
“Not too sudden, okay?” Sungmin nodded and Kyuhyun bid goodbye at the cute male before he got into the vehicle.  
  
Once he was inside, the driver asked him in Japanese for the direction. Kyuhyun simply showed the address of Donghae’s place which he managed to write on his book before to the driver. The driver nodded his head and Kyuhyun rested his body on the passenger seat.  
  
 _Shit, phone!_  
  
Kyuhyun flailed when he just remembered to check his phone now.  
  
 _All of the time, Cho Kyuhyun. You just checked your phone now!?_  
  
 _14 Missed Calls from Donghae._  
 _20 Messages from Donghae._  
  
 _\- What time you will be home? I’ll cook dinner._  
 _\- What do you want to eat for dinner? :)_  
 _\- Hey are you mad at me? I’m sorry. I hope you are having fun._  
 _\- Sorry._  
 _\- Kyuhyun, I’m sorry._  
 _\- Where are you now? Reply me, please._  
  
He didn’t bother to read the rest of the messages and quickly pressed the call button instead, calling Donghae.  
  
No answer.  
  
He tried again and Donghae still not picking his call.  
  
 _Shit, Donghae. I’m sorry._  
  
  


  
When he reached home, Kyuhyun quickly gave the money to the driver and rushed out the car, didn’t bother to get the change. He saw the garage was left open and Donghae’s car wasn’t there. Kyuhyun ran inside the house. The house was unlocked and Donghae’s shoes weren’t on the shelves nor the doorway.  
  
 _Did he look for me?_  
  
Kyuhyun straightly went to his lover’s room, but he didn’t see Donghae there.  
  
When he heard the sound of the door was opened, Kyuhyun ran to see if Donghae was arrived. And it was him, face was so pale, must be caused by the cold weather outside. Something white was lies on his hair and his red scarf.  
  
They stared for awhile and Donghae’s lips broke into smile.  
  
“It’s snowing outside.” Donghae said softly, his smile was still there.  
  
“R-really?” Kyuhyun was confused but he answered instead. “Where have you been?” Kyuhyun approached the male slowly.  
  
“Oh… I went to buy something.” Donghae lied.  
  
“Lock the door, idiot.” Kyuhyun smiled.  
  
“Sorry.” Donghae apologized. Kyuhyun guessed that Donghae wasn’t apologizing about his clumsiness. But he didn’t say anything and just hugged the older. “How was outside?”  
  
“Better than here.”  
  
“I see.”  
  
Kyuhyun pulled his body to stare at Donghae’s face. “But it’s warmer here and cozier.”  
  
 _Because of you._  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“I’ll go to sleep now. Good night, Hae.” Kyuhyun kissed the right corner of Donghae’s lips before he left the male alone in the doorway, getting ready for another lonely night.  
  
Kyuhyun had made a conclusion about their relationship for now.  
  
That both of them needed some times to trust each other.  
  
To know that Kyuhyun also kept a secret from Donghae. So, it’s just fair between them.  
  
He still didn’t know how it was his past with Donghae. Maybe his current life was better, wasn’t it?  
  
At least Kyuhyun knew that Donghae was really cared a lot about him and it made him happy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What got edited in this chapter: I wrote Grandma Kim before and then changed it to Uncle Kim.

* * *

 

Donghae let out another sigh whilst running his fingers through his hair. He was tired, really. The documents seemed would take forever to finish. Well, Henry reported that the company was growing very well during his absence, investors kept coming, and Donghae was very thankful for that. But it tired him nonetheless. Not to mention he didn’t have much time for Kyuhyun now and what happened days ago was freaking him out. He felt guilty.  
  
What if Kyuhyun really left him for good that day?  
  
Donghae shook his head to shake away the thought.  
  
It was not just about his late best friend’s last wish, but Kyuhyun was also someone he cared a lot. They were friends since childhood anyway. They went to the same school and university, but different major. Donghae took business and Kyuhyun chose music. Though they were so busy with their own life, Donghae always managed to meet the younger even only once a week.  
  
One day during their 2nd year, he asked Kyuhyun to move to his apartment. Kyuhyun asked back why he had to. Donghae simply told him that the younger was like his own brother. The singer casually smacked his head. He was so confused with the action. He was telling the singer the truth after all. He really couldn’t help the urge to keep Kyuhyun close to him. That was another reason why Donghae felt so uncomfortable with the idea of being his fake boyfriend.  
  
Suddenly there was a loud clatter from the kitchen, startling him. Donghae ran out to see but stopped midway when he saw Kyuhyun there. He heard the male growling in frustration whilst bending down to pick the pan. It seemed that Kyuhyun accidentally dropped it before. Donghae kept silent, observing the younger from his spot.  
  
 _Is he cooking?_  
  
Donghae couldn’t help but to smile. He watched as Kyuhyun fried two eggs and a few slices of bacon. There were two plates on the table with two toasts on each of it. He was preparing sandwiches for their lunch? It was Kyuhyun’s first time to cook for them. Donghae felt warmth inside his heart.  
  
“Need some help?” Donghae asked when the younger finished cooking, intentionally to make Kyuhyun acknowledged his existence in the room. The younger turned around and gasped in surprise when seeing him.  
  
“You shocked me!” He snapped.  
  
“I could see that.” Donghae smiled as he stole the bacon from one of the plates. He got a smack on his arm for that. “Hmm… it’s really good.” He moaned in delight. Kyuhyun’s cheeks went red because the compliment.  
  
“It’s just bacon, seriously.”  
  
“Well, it’s still delicious. Let’s eat, I’m hungry!” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he went to put the pan on the sink. Donghae served the plates on the table.  
  
“It’s just sandwich. Sorry can’t cook you anything.” He said as he sat across Donghae.  
  
“At least you didn’t burn anything.” Donghae joked. Kyuhyun laughed plainly. “I’m just kidding you know.” He added before taking a big bite. Kyuhyun started to eat as well.  
  
They ate in silence just like the other days. Sometime Kyuhyun asked him about his work. Donghae would answer that he still had a lot of things unfinished and the conversation ended there. Kyuhyun would leave first to his room to take his medicine and then Donghae went to his own room as well after that. They saw each other again during dinner. The atmosphere was remained the same.  
  
“I remembered something.” Kyuhyun suddenly said. Donghae didn’t say anything, waiting for Kyuhyun to continue. “I remembered Uncle Kim’s face and the fact that I was adopted by him, right? Three years later, he passed away. I was all alone, again.”  
  
“But I was there with you, always. Did you remember that?” Donghae quickly interjected. He didn’t like the sadness in Kyuhyun’s tone. He was glad when the latter nodded his head slowly. “You have me. You are not alone.” He took the younger’s hand and squeezed it tightly.  
  
“Thank you, Donghae.” Kyuhyun said with a restrained smile. He slowly leaned his face closer to his and placed a kiss on the corner of his lips for the second time.

 

  
  
As he got back to his room, Donghae continued working and minutes later he was distracted by the thought of Kyuhyun kissing him again. He shook that image away from his mind right away, telling himself to forget it. That kiss didn’t mean anything special, did it? That was just Kyuhyun’s way for showing his gratitude to him.  
  
 _Yes it was._  
  
Donghae told himself that he was simply a fake boyfriend of Kyuhyun.  
  
So he should stop dwelling with this and get focus to finish his work.  
  
Hours passed, Donghae then heard a soft knock on his door. He snapped his head as he heard Kyuhyun calling him for dinner and gasped when he realized the time. It was already late for it.  
  
Donghae rushed to open the door. Kyuhyun’s sour face greeted him first. The younger male didn’t say anything and went to the kitchen instead. Donghae followed suit, feeling guilty when he knew that Kyuhyun had cooked again for them. He watched the younger served the food before taking a seat on the dining chair. It was a fried rice, Donghae guessed.  
  
“C’mon sit.” Kyuhyun ordered. Donghae stiffly settled himself down on the usual chair. “I’ve tried my best to make this. It tastes good in my opinion.” He said again, looking anywhere but Donghae.  
  
Donghae took a spoonful of the dish in front of him. He blew it before shoving it into his mouth. A smile graced his lips. “It does.”  
  
“R-really?” Kyuhyun bit his lip, smiling happily.  
  
He nodded his head to confirm it again, feeling happy to see Kyuhyun's smile. “Thank you so much.” He said before took another spoonful of it. “You don’t eat?”  
  
“I’ve eaten.” Kyuhyun answered. “You took forever to come out from your room.” He pouted.  
  
Donghae stiffened at the latter’s remark. “Aah… The work distracted me a lot, so I forgot to check the time.”  
  
He felt the awkward atmosphere between them.  
  
“So, you are a workaholic type.” That was a statement. Donghae quickly shook his head.  
  
“N-not really.” He darted his eyes away from Kyuhyun’s and then to his hand. He frowned to see a band aid over the male’s index finger. “Did you hurt your finger when cooking?”  
  
“I-it’s n-nothing.” Kyuhyun tried to pull his hand away, but Donghae prevented it. He took Kyuhyun’s hand and examined the injured finger.  
  
“I’m sorry. You must be really mad at me, right?” Donghae said whilst stroking the band-aid gently.  
  
“It’s okay. Just… don’t tire yourself too much. If you get sick, I’ll feel guiltier. After all, it’s my fault that you are so busy these days.” Kyuhyun said almost in whisper, but Donghae managed to hear it and he couldn’t help but frown. “And I still yelled at you for ignoring me.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Kyuhyun pulled his hand free of Donghae’s hold to curl his fingers on the hem of his sweater. “You had to abandon your work because of me. You decided to move and live with me in Japan, so I can heal.” Kyuhyun’s grip on the glass tightened. “I’m such a burden to you.”  
  
Donghae stood up and walked to Kyuhyun’s side and wrapped his arms around the younger’s torso, embracing him. He buried his face on Kyuhyun’s blond hair; breathing in the scent of the latter’s shampoo. He smiled when Kyuhyun relaxed at his touch.  
  
“You’ll never be a burden, especially for me. Remember that.” Donghae whispered as he placed a kiss on the crown of Kyuhyun’s head. He then felt Kyuhyun placed his own hand on top of his.  
  
“Sorry for shouting at you that day, also for making you worried.”  
  
“It’s okay. I was just being a worrywart, couldn’t help it.” He giggled whilst snuggling his face on Kyuhyun’s blond hair. “Anyway, I have something to tell you.”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“I want to invite Henry. I need his help to finish everything. Is that okay with you? You ever said that you want to meet him right?”  
  
“Oh, sure. It’s okay, Hae.”  
  
“I will call him then.” Donghae kissed Kyuhyun’s cheek before dashing into his room, not bother to finish his dinner first.  
  
Kyuhyun silently watched his boyfriend left. Donghae seemed so excited to invite Henry over. He must be missed the male a lot. Kyuhyun couldn’t help to let the uneasiness filled his heart. Maybe he was jealous, only a bit.  
  
 _You should finish your dinner first, at least._  
  
He sighed heavily, feeling dejected that Donghae ignoring the food he tried to cook with so much difficulty. Kyuhyun then stood up and clean everything before going to his own bedroom, getting ready to end the day.  
  
  
  
The next day, Kyuhyun woke up with a gasp, again. His body was sweating badly. He had the same nightmare again since a week ago. There was a black shadow, telling Kyuhyun that it wanted to kill him. He shivered as he recalled it. He then took the glass of water on the nightstand beside his bed and drank everything, feeling relaxed a bit. Kyuhyun let out a heavy sigh as he looked at the spot beside him. He sighed to know it was empty and very cold, just like the other mornings before.  
  
Just then, Kyuhyun heard his phone rang, signaling for a new message. It must be Sungmin’s number, no doubt. Actually, he didn’t save the said male’s number, afraid that Donghae would find out.  
  
 _[08.40 AM Sungmin] Wake up already? Let’s have lunch together?  
  
Another meet up?_  Kyuhyun raised his brows. He was thinking for awhile before typing a reply.  
  
 _[08.42 AM Kyuhyun] Sounds great. What time? Where?  
  
[08.45 Sungmin] Great! Let’s go to a coffee shop near the mall yesterday. It’s my friend’s. I will text you the address later! See you at 1 pm.  
  
[08.47 Kyuhyun] Alright, see you._  
  
He put down his phone beside him on the bed before stretching his stiff body. Kyuhyun grunted as he heard his bone cracking in the process. He then got out from his bed and went to the bathroom, getting ready to do his morning routine. Once he was done he got dressed into something warm and went out to see Donghae in his room.  
  
Kyuhyun was about to knock at the latter’s room but then he heard the sound of the main door being opened and closed. He quickly went to see if it was Donghae and he sighed in relief that it was really him.  
  
“Hae?” He called to get the latter’s attention. “Uhh… Where have you been?” Kyuhyun asked in confusion seeing Donghae brought something smelt like food on his hand.  
  
“Morning, Kyu.” Donghae kissed Kyuhyun’s cheek. It became a habit already for him. “I went out to buy us coffee and breakfast.”  
  
“Why didn’t you wake me up? We could go out together.” He complained whilst following the older towards the kitchen.  
  
“It’s okay. Besides, today is really cold outside.” Donghae answered as he placed everything on the dining table. “Come sit.”  
  
“You are not cooking?”  
  
“I still have to set the flight for Henry.” Kyuhyun tensed at the mention of the said male’s name. He looked away and drank his coffee. “I just knew that he is currently in China to see his family and too busy to go online.”  
  
“When you want him to be here?”  
  
“I asked if he could be here tonight. He can use a private jet anyway.”  
  
“Wow, rich people.”  
  
Donghae rolled his eyes. “C’mon.”  
  
“Just asking, you didn’t force him, right?” Kyuhyun snorted to see Donghae grinning at him. “You said he is with his family now. You should not disturb him.” He added before filling his stomach with the food that Donghae brought.  
  
“He planned to back to Korea already anyway. He also agreed already when I invited him over.”  
  
“Okay. That’s good to hear.” Kyuhyun stopped arguing already. “Oh by the way, I’m going out today.”  
  
“Huh, where? Need my companion?”  
  
“Just walking around like that time. It’s okay, I can go alone and I promise I will always check my phone. Can I go?” Kyuhyun pleaded, staring at Donghae with hopeful eyes.  
  
“Alright, you can go. Be careful okay.”  
  
“Thanks!” Kyuhyun cheered with a smile.  
  
  
  
 _[01.10 PM Kyuhyun] Where are you? I’m arrived already._  
  
Kyuhyun sent the message to Sungmin quickly. He checked again the big nameplate in front of the coffee shop to make sure if he was at the right place.  _Mouse Rabbit_  was written beautifully there. Minutes later his phone flashed showing a message from Sungmin.  
  
 _[01.14 PM Sungmin] I’ll be late. Just go inside and order first. I told Ryeowook (the owner) already that I’ll come with my friend.  
  
[01.16 PM Kyuhyun] Another Korean?  
  
[01.20 PM Sungmin] Yep._  
  
Kyuhyun puffed his cheeks and decided to do as Sungmin said. It was so damn cold anyway. Hopefully he could warm himself up inside. As he entered the building he was attacked by the strong aroma of coffee. The interior was really cozy in his opinion. Kyuhyun felt light and comfortable to be here.  
  
Whilst busy with looking at the colorful cupcakes in the aisles, Kyuhyun was startled to hear a male suddenly called his name. He turned around to see a male, shorter than him, dressed in black sweater smiling warmly at him. Kyuhyun quickly bowed his head and smiled back awkwardly.  
  
“So it’s really you.” The male beamed as he clapped his hands. “I’m Kim Ryeowook.”  
  
“Ah… Ryeowook-sshi. Hello. I’m Sungmin’s friend.” Kyuhyun introduced himself. He was slightly confused to see the male staring at him quite long. “W-what’s wrong?”  
  
“A-ah sorry, I was distracted. I will help you to find the table.” Ryeowook smiled before leading him to the 2nd floor of the café. Kyuhyun trailed behind him whilst looking at the surroundings.  
  
“I really like this place.” He complimented.  
  
“Thank you, Kyuhyun-sshi. I’m glad to hear that.”  
  
Ryeowook chose the table beside the wide window for them. Kyuhyun could see that snow was falling outside through it. They talked for awhile to kill the time, knowing each other more. Sungmin finally appeared thirty minute later. He apologized for coming late and making Kyuhyun wait.  
  
“I’m glad you two get along.” Sungmin said with a smile as he settled himself on the chair.  
  
“Alright, I can’t stay too long here though I really want to. So, I will go back to work and tell the waiter to bring you two our special menu for today. Don’t worry it’s my treat!”  
  
“Woah. Thank you so much, Ryeowook-sshi, again!” Kyuhyun beamed happily.  
  
“You are the best, Wookie.” Sungmin prompted.  
  
Kyuhyun watched as the male walked downstairs, running a bit. Once Ryeowook was gone from his sight he paid attention at Sungmin who sat in front of him. The male was glued to his phone.  
  
“You look busy?” He asked as he leaned his back on the leather chair.  
  
“Nah, it’s just my mom.” Sungmin said after putting his device down. “So, how are you?”  
  
“I’m just fine. You?”  
  
“A bit tired.”  
  
“This place is really nice. I really like to bring my boyfriend here.” Kyuhyun said whilst smiling. “How did you know Ryeowook anyway?”  
  
“Um? Actually, he is my cousin. He moved to Japan seven years ago and decided to build this shop. You are very welcome here. I’m sure he will be happy.” Kyuhyun nodded his head whilst smiling.  
  
Moments later the waiter walked towards their table with the special menus Ryeowook had ordered for them. Sungmin thanked her with a smile, Kyuhyun smiled as well. Once the waiter left Kyuhyun sipped his coffee right away.  
  
“This is really great.” Kyuhyun complimented.  
  
Sungmin chuckled, “Go try the cake.”  
  
Kyuhyun took the fork and took a bit of the cake before shoving it into his mouth. He felt the chocolate melt in his tongue.  
  
“Oh God, this is perfect. I should get one for my boyfriend.” Kyuhyun blabbed.  
  
“Hey. You never tell my anything about your boyfriend. What’s his name?”  
  
“Um? His name is Lee Donghae.” Kyuhyun answered. He couldn’t help but to furrow his brows as he saw the expression on Sungmin’s face. “You look very surprised? What’s wrong?”  
  
“W-what? O-oh, it’s nothing.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Um.” Sungmin nodded his head and then sipped his coffee.  
  
“Umhh, Min. I need someone to talk right now. And right now, you are the only friend that I have. So— Uh…”  
  
Sungmin let out a bark of laughter, “C’mon, Kyu. It’s okay! I’m glad to listen to all problems you have.” Kyuhyun was smiling awkwardly, cheeks blushing. “Something matters?”  
  
“Well, Donghae is going to invite his friend over and maybe stay with us for awhile. And I’m… feeling insecure.”  
  
“Wait, is your friend a female?” Kyuhyun shook his head. “Ah…I guess, you never meet him before?”  
  
Kyuhyun nodded. “Also I can see that they are really close to each other. What should I do?”  
  
“Everything will be okay, Kyu. Your boyfriend won’t do something to hurt you. Believe him.”  
  
“I think you are right. Thanks, Min.”  
  
“Anytime.”  
  
Just then Kyuhyun heard his phone ringing. He quickly checked the device and saw Donghae’s number calling him. He excused himself from Sungmin and went outside for quieter place.  
  
“Hello, Hae.”  
  
 _“Hello, Kyu. Where are you now?”_ The older asked. Kyuhyun could hear some rustling in the background.  
  
“I’m still outside. What’s wrong?”  
  
 _“Henry will arrive soon. I should go to the airport now.”_  
  
“Ah…Okay.”  
  
 _“Do you bring the key?”_  
  
“Yes.”  
  
 _“Alright then, see you at home_.”  
  
“Bye.”  
  
He let out a slow sigh as he ended the call.  
  
 _Damn it, Kyuhyun. Stop worrying things._  
  
After calming his heart he went back to see Sungmin inside. The older male asked him if he was okay. Kyuhyun nodded his head. He continued to sit there and enjoy Ryeowook’s treat whilst listening at his friend’s blabs. He then looked outside to see the setting sun's red rays lit up the sky above the western horizon. Snow also had stopped falling. Kyuhyun thought that it was the time to go home. He then stood up, thanking Sungmin for today, and bid a goodbye to Sungmin and went downstairs. Kyuhyun then went home with two boxes of chocolate lava cake.  
  
  
  
“I can’t believe you meet him here.” He looked at his cousin and smirked. The other rolled his eyes as he settled himself down on the chair which Kyuhyun occupied before.  
  
“Yeah it’s really great isn’t it? And you know what; he told me that he is in relationship with his childhood friend. Tch.”  
  
“Min…”  
  
“I don’t need your lecture now.”  
  
He heard a sigh came out from Ryeowook’s lips.  
  
“Be careful.”  
  
“I will.”

 

 

 _[07.25 PM Henry] Hyung, I’m taking my luggage now. Where are you?_  
  
Donghae read the message from Henry as he done parking his car. He quickly searched for the younger’s contact and pressed the call button.  
  
“Hey! I’m just arrived. Let’s meet at Starbucks.” Donghae told the younger as he walked to the place had mentioned.  
  
 _“Alright, I’ll be there soon.”_  
  
“Okay.”  
  
 _“Is Kyuhyun hyung with you?”_  
  
“No. He is taking a walk around the town but I had told him that I went to pick you up.”  
  
 _“Aish… You can wait for him first. I really want to see him.”._  
  
“Yah! You will meet him soon anyway…” Donghae chuckled.  
  
 _“I got my luggage already. Wait me there.”_  
  
“Hmmh.” He ended the call.  
  
Donghae then went to order two cups of coffee. While lining up he took out his phone and typed a message.  
  
 _[07.40 PM Donghae] Kyu, are you home already?_  
  
He pressed the send button and waited for a reply. Minutes later his phone vibrated.  
  
 _[07.43 PM Kyuhyun] Yes. When you will be home? Do you meet Henry already?_  
  
Donghae looked around and finally he could see the younger. For a moment he was surprised to see the Henry dyed his hair to yellow and then he quickly waved his hand towards the boy.  
  
 _[07.45 PM Donghae] Oh, yeah. I see him already. I’ll be home soon, Kyu.  
  
[07.49 PM Kyuhyun] I’ll wait for you. Don’t take too long. Say hi from me to Henry._  
  
His lips curled up reading the reply.  
  
“Aigoo, look at that smile. Must be really happy to have a boyfriend, huh?” Donghae snapped his head to hear Henry’s voice. He snorted at the younger male’s teasing whilst shoving his phone to the pocket of his jacket.  
  
“He is not my boyfriend.”  
  
“He is now.”  
  
“Henry. Where’s my hug?” The said male rolled his eyes at him and Donghae flicked his forehead in return. “Be a good kid and wait for me.”  
  
“Yes, sir!” Henry saluted.  
  
After waiting for fifteen minutes, Donghae finally got his coffee with him. He walked towards Henry’s table and gave it one to his friend. They left the place right away and went to Donghae’s car.  
  
“Sorry for the sudden call, but I really need your help.” Donghae said whilst driving back to his home.  
  
“It’s okay. I got someone to back up my work anyway.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Someone.” Henry grinned innocently. “Secret.”  
  
Donghae made a face in return as if to tell Henry that he didn’t like the younger to keep any secret from him. Henry just shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“Oh. Since there are only two bedrooms, you can sleep in my room.”  
  
“I can sleep on the couch.”  
  
“Not in this kind of weather. My bed is large enough for the two of us.”  
  
“Wait… What do you mean!? We are sleeping together?” Henry screamed.  
  
“So? We shared a bed back in college, okay?”  
  
Henry puffed his cheeks and shook his head. “I know... But, it’s different now. Your boyfriend is there too.”  
  
“Henry—”  
  
“I know what you are going to say, hyung.” Donghae bit his inner cheek so he wouldn’t complain more and irritate his friend. “I can’t believe that you let him sleep alone.”  
  
“I’m just acting as his boyfriend, not his husband.” He snorted.  
  
“And I thought Kyuhyun hyung is the cure for your nightmare. So, how is it now?”  
  
“Don’t wanna say anything.”  
  
“Psshh…”  
  
After spending an hour in the road they finally arrived. Donghae came out from his car and went to take out Henry’s luggage. He waited for his friend to come out and then led him to his house.  
  
  
  
Hearing the front door being opened, Kyuhyun walked out from the kitchen to see his lover coming home together with someone he guessed as Henry.  
  
“I’m home.” Donghae said with a smile gracing on his lips.  
  
“Welcome.” Kyuhyun said back. He then looked at Henry, smiling at the male. “You must be Henry?”  
  
“Yes. It’s nice to meet you, Kyuhyun hyung.”  
  
 _Such a cute kid… I want to squish those cheeks._  
  
“O-oh. Me too. Please come in.”  
  
“Nice house.” Henry complimented whilst taking a look at his surroundings.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Kyuhyun gave Henry a brief tour around his lover’s house whilst Donghae put his friend’s luggage in his room. Just then the older came out from his room dressed in more comfortable cloth. He then told Henry to change first while cooking them for dinner. Kyuhyun followed Donghae to give him a help.  
  
“Oh, I bought cakes. Wait here.” Kyuhyun announced once the dinner was finished. He stood up and went to take out the box from the fridge. “This is really delicious.” He said whilst serving the dessert for them.  
  
“Thank you so much, hyung.” Henry beamed.  
  
“Thanks, Kyu.” Donghae said with a smile.  
  
The two males started to eat the sweet thing and Kyuhyun could see the satisfaction on their face. It made him happy.  
  
They continued talking for a moment, mostly talking about Donghae’s company. It made Kyuhyun feel kind of out place since he did know nothing. Soon he found himself feeling dozy. It was already late though maybe he should go to bed earlier.  
  
“I’ll go to my room first.” Kyuhyun informed as he stood up to fill his glass with mineral water.  
  
“Are you okay, Kyu?” Donghae asked with a worried tone.  
  
“I’m just feeling sleepy.” He replied with a smile to reassure Donghae that he was okay. “Good night, everyone.”  
  
Kyuhyun entered his room and he placed the glass on the nightstand beside his bed. He went to the bedroom to do his routine and change into his pajamas after that before slipping himself into the bed. Kyuhyun tried to close his eyes, getting himself relaxed on the mattress. But the anxiety he was feeling right now prevented him to get some sleep.  
  
Kyuhyun opened his eyes again, staring at the white ceiling. Just then the door of his room opened just a crack. He averted his gaze to see Donghae poking his head in.  
  
“Hae?” He called the male.  
  
“O-oh, Kyu? I thought you are sleeping already so I didn’t knock first. Sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay. What’s wrong? Oh… Do you need some pillows for Henry?” Kyuhyun was about to get off from his bedroom but Donghae prevented him. He then watched the latter walked towards his bed.  
  
“It’s not that. Uh… Kyuhyun.” Donghae paused. “Can I sleep here?”  
  
Kyuhyun frowned at the older before bursting into laughter. He couldn’t help it since Donghae’s expression was really something.  
  
“For God’s sake, Hae, do you even need to ask?” He stated once he stopped laughing. “Come here.”  
  
Donghae’s lips curled up into a smile. He then joined Kyuhyun on the bed.  
  
“Why are you still awake?” The older male asked.  
  
“Can’t sleep.” Kyuhyun turned his body at Donghae’s direction so he could stare at the male. “But since you are here, I think it won’t be a problem anymore.”  
  
“It’s good then. Now, let’s sleep.”  
  
Kyuhyun replied with a hum. He watched Donghae silently; his heart was thumping madly inside his chest. He felt so happy to have his boyfriend sleeping by his side again.  
  
It won’t be a problem if Henry stays longer here.  
  
“Hae, am I dreaming now?” He asked in whisper.  
  
“Hum?” Donghae responded sleepily. He then looked at Kyuhyun and they stared for awhile. “You should sleep.” He stated as he turned his body as well, facing Kyuhyun.  
  
“What if I don’t want to?”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I’m afraid to see you gone from my sight once I wake up later.”  
  
“Silly.” Donghae said as he ruffled Kyuhyun’s hair affectionately.  
  
“Hae, let’s go to the coffee shop where I bought that cake before. The place is really nice.”  
  
“I would love to. But I have to finish my work first, okay? Maybe we can go with Henry too.”  
  
“Okay. That’s great.” Kyuhyun smiled whilst watching the lover slowly closed his eyes. He then drew his body closer to the male. Kyuhyun liked the warmth which emanated from Donghae’s body, lulling him to sleep.

 

 

_Desire of having is the sin of covetousness, Cho Kyuhyun._

_You are hurting him. I can’t forgive you that._

_I have to kill you. You are going to die in my hands._

_You can’t run because I’m right behind you, watching you closely._

 

  
  
Kyuhyun’s body jerked up and his eyes opened wide, looking around his own room with fright. Sweat broke out in his skin. The nightmare was haunting him again.  
  
Just then an arm slipped around his waist. Kyuhyun’s body tense; he almost screamed but then relaxed to know that it was just Donghae. He then felt the older male pulling his body closer against his chest, hugging him closely.  
  
“Are you okay, Kyu?” He heard the male asking him in whisper. Kyuhyun could feel Donghae’s breath tickling his ear but it calmed him nonetheless.  
  
“Yeah. I just had a nightmare. It was really scary.” Kyuhyun told him with shaky voice. Then he felt Donghae’s hand on his, holding it tightly.  
  
“Sshh… It’s okay now. I’m here.”  
  
“Thank you, Hae.”  
  
Kyuhyun felt protected hearing his lover’s words.  
  
He then then felt his body relaxed and slowly fell asleep in Donghae’s embrace.


	9. Chapter 9

 

* * *

 

“You look very happy today.” Sungmin asked with a mocked smile on his face. Kyuhyun quickly fixed his red scarf until it cover his mouth. “Being shy aren’t you?” He said again, teasing him.  
  
“I should just refuse your invitation, really.” Kyuhyun bluffed, because he actually the one who needed the older male’s company now.  
  
“Hey! You did look very happy few days ago. So, what’s wrong now?” He let out a heavy sigh before looking at the older male across him. Kyuhyun shifted on his seat, feeling unsure. “I won’t force you.” Sungmin stated.  
  
He sighed heavily to know that Sungmin managed to notice his current mood right now.  
  
Was he too obvious?  
  
To tell the truth, Kyuhyun wasn’t sad or anything. He was just feeling annoyed and frustrated over his relationship with Donghae. Kyuhyun was thankful to have Donghae sleep by his side every night, really. But, that was the problem. He  _only_ got the male’s attention when they were about to sleep and for the rest of the day, Donghae wasn’t there for him.  
  
Kyuhyun bit his lips before speaking, “Umhh… You know, it’s been a week already and seeing Henry around Donghae for almost every hour is… getting unbearable to see.”  
  
 _It’s the other way around actually_. Kyuhyun couldn’t tell Sungmin the truth.  
  
“Jealous?” The older male raised his eyebrows.  
  
“Do I need to scream it in your ear?” Kyuhyun snapped flippantly.  
  
“What’s the real problem, really? You said that that boy coming over to help Donghae, right? You should stop worrying.” Kyuhyun averted his gaze again from Sungmin. He also didn’t argue back. Sungmin was bewildered by the younger’s sudden silence. He thought that Kyuhyun had another problem which couldn’t be told. Sungmin breathed in and exhaled the air through his mouth. “Try to talk to Henry, okay?”  
  
“Alright.” Kyuhyun replied shortly before shipping his hot chocolate.  
  
  
  
When Kyuhyun reached his house, he felt a slight pang on his heart to see Donghae’s car wasn’t there. He was thinking that his boyfriend must be going somewhere with Henry, just the two of them. Donghae even didn’t try to call him first.  
  
Kyuhyun felt the jealousy and irritation slowly rising up into his heart again.  
  
Why did this happen to him?  
  
“I’m home.” He shouted even though he knew no one was inside the house. Kyuhyun firstly hung his scarf on the coat hanger before going to his room. He was about to open the door but then got startled by a loud frustrated groan which came from Donghae’s room. Kyuhyun then decided to check it out. He slowly opened the door to see it was Henry whom had his eyes fixed on the laptop. “Henry?” Kyuhyun called.  
  
A loud gasp came out from the younger’s lips as he looked at Kyuhyun’s direction through his shoulder. “Oh my God, Kyuhyun hyung, you surprised me!”  
  
“You did the same with your loud groan.”  
  
“Oh, that. S-sorry…” Henry smiled sheepishly.  
  
“Why are you here?” Kyuhyun asked with plain tone, still feeling annoyed. Henry didn’t answer instead he gave the male a confused look. Kyuhyun sighed. “I thought you went out with Donghae. I don’t see his car outside.”  
  
“Ahh… He just went to the bank.”  
  
Kyuhyun nodded his head slightly, feeling relieved hearing the news. “Anyway, can we talk? But, if you are busy then…”  
  
“Of course, hyung. I’m not busy.” Henry smiled.  
  
“Living room?” He awkwardly asked again. Henry nodded his head.  
  
They sat on the sofa, facing each other. Kyuhyun cleared his throat first to get the latter’s attention. “Henry. I know that you are Donghae’s best friend since I don’t even know when. I can see that Donghae relies himself a lot towards you. With my current state, I feel really bad to be unable to help him. Well, I also realized that it is my fault that he has to abandon his works.” He paused to take a deep breath before he continued. “I know I shouldn't act like this, but I’m feeling insecure ever since you came, Henry...”  
  
 _Because Donghae looks more comfortable when he is talking with you.  
  
Because Donghae looks brighter when he is around you.  
  
I’m not blind.  
  
But I don’t have the courage to say it.  
  
I’m afraid if it’s right._  
  
“Kyuhyun hyung!”  
  
He jerked his head hearing the loud call of his name. “Ah! Sorry for spacing out. Well, are you mad?”  
  
“I’m not mad at you!” Henry laughed whilst shaking his head. “I know you must be lonely because Donghae hyung is so busy with his works since I came. I think he wants to finish everything sooner so he could spend more time with you without any workload left.”  
  
“You think so?”  
  
Henry nodded his head eagerly. “Don’t think too much, hyung. You are still recovering; it’s not good if you are stressed out.”  
  
“I see. Thank you for your time.” Kyuhyun tried to smile. He wasn’t very convinced, still. “I’ll go back to my room now.”  
  
“Hyung.” Henry called. Kyuhyun looked at the male. “Just so you know. I don’t bear that kind of feeling towards Donghae hyung—if you are worrying over this.” Henry stated. His tone was serious. Kyuhyun felt his stomach churn at hearing Henry’s words. He couldn’t believe that Henry just saw right through his mind. “I respect him a lot like an older brother also as a senior.” Henry smiled.  
  
“H-Henry… I-I…”  
  
“It’s okay, Kyuhyun hyung.” Henry sighed. “Honestly saying, you two really need time to trust each other.”  
  
“Yeah, you are right about that.”  
  
  
  
Night came really quick. Kyuhyun spent his time with doing chores, watching TV and playing games on his phone, again. He felt bored and irritated since Donghae and Henry were out to meet one of the investors in other town. Kyuhyun didn’t have any choice so he just stayed at home alone.  
  
Feeling exhausted, Kyuhyun then laid his body on the bed. Henry’s words suddenly filled his mind. He was feeling anxious again. Although Henry admitted his feeling already, Kyuhyun still wasn’t sure about Donghae’s and the thought was bugging him a lot.  
  
Kyuhyun concluded that those previous weeks were better than now, to be honest.  
  
Suddenly Kyuhyun’s phone beeped, displaying a new message. He opened it quickly. He was disappointed to see the message was from Sungmin not Donghae.  
  
 _[11.02 PM Sungmin] I bet you are feeling lonely right now?  
  
[11.04 PM Kyuhyun] Yes. I’m at home, alone.  
  
[11.07 PM Sungmin] Where are those two? I can come over to entertain you by the way. Ha!  
  
[11.10 PM Kyuhyun] Meeting a client. Nah, you don’t have to. I’m not in mood to explain your existence right now.  
  
[11.12 PM Sungmin] Owh… What the hell is that? -_-;  
  
[11.15 PM Kyuhyun] I mean, you are still a secret between me and Donghae. Chill.  
  
[11.18 PM Sungmin] That sounds interesting, to be honest. :] Or you can sleepover in my place?  
  
[11.20 PM Kyuhyun] I appreciate your offer, Ming. But that’s impossible. :|  
  
[11.22 PM Sungmin] Do as you please, then -_-; Anyway, I have to visit Ryeowook now. Bye!_  
  
Kyuhyun checked again the time on his phone. He frowned hard when he realized it was getting late already. The grip on his phone tightened as he bit his lip, feeling worried and anxious.  
  
Minutes later he could hear the sound of car engine outside. Kyuhyun quickly stood up and walked towards the window to see through it. He watched as Donghae and Henry came out from the vehicle. Kyuhyun let out the breath he was holding the whole time. He then walked back to the bed, waiting for Donghae to join him. From inside, he could hear the main door was being opened. Kyuhyun also could hear the ruckus and their voices.  
  
“You said you want to talk to me?” That was Donghae’s voice. His lover sounded really serious.  
  
“Nah, you look tired, hyung. We can talk about it tomorrow.” Henry responded.  
  
“Wait.” The older ordered.  
  
Kyuhyun could hear Donghae’s footsteps getting closer to his room. He didn’t think twice and slipped his body into the duvet. He closed his eyes and pretending to be asleep. Just then, he heard the sound of the door cracked open. He felt Donghae’s presence invaded his room. Soon he felt the weight on the other side of his bed.  
  
“Are you asleep, Kyu?” Donghae whispered into his ear. Kyuhyun kept pretending. The older male then brushed away the fringe over his forehead. He leaned into the touch even though it was just for a moment. “I’ll be back.”  
  
When Donghae closed the door, Kyuhyun cracked his eyes open. He could feel his heart racing when those bad thoughts of Donghae and Henry came to his mind. Kyuhyun gripped the pillow on his embrace tightly whilst trying to calm himself.  
  
 _But, I just can’t sit in silence._  
  
He told himself before getting up. Kyuhyun hesitantly came out from his room and walked towards Donghae’s. He could see everything from outside since Donghae didn’t close the door properly but Kyuhyun tried his best to hide himself.  
  
“C’mon Henry, spill it.” He heard Donghae’s demanding voice.  
  
After a short silent, Henry spoke. “Kyuhyun hyung and I had a talk today. And I think, start from tomorrow, it’s better if I stay at hotel.”  
  
“What!?” Donghae shouted. Kyuhyun was sure that his boyfriend didn’t like the idea even a bit. “Why?”  
  
“Nothing, really.”  
  
“I will say it now. Just listen…” He heard the male’s loud sigh. Kyuhyun felt so nervous right now. He still had time to run back into his room, though. But it seemed like his legs were glued there. “I love you, Henry.”  
  
Kyuhyun froze. His hand which holding the door knob just now fell to his side. His heart shattered to pieces.  
  
 _So I was right at last, huh?  
  
But I’m even more confused now._  
  
 _Who am I to you then?_  
  
  
  
“Hyung!” Henry screamed not too loudly though he really wanted to. He was afraid if he woke Kyuhyun up. “You can’t okay.”  
  
“Why? Is it because Kyuhyun? I told you—”  
  
Henry quickly cut him.  
  
“I don’t love you in that way, okay.” Donghae was too dumbfounded to respond. Henry took a deep breath before exhaling it trough his mouth. He didn’t mean to hurt the older more, but he had to tell Donghae everything. “I’m in love with someone. I know I shouldn’t keep this from you but—”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“It’s… Hyukjae.”  
  
“Fuck!” Donghae kicked the chair in front of him. “You are fucking with my cousin and you just told me now!?”  
  
 _SLAP_  
  
“If you won’t get out from here, I will leave your house, now.” Henry threatened while looking at Donghae with angry eyes.  
  
Donghae groaned loudly, not bothering the pain on his cheek. He then went out from his room, leaving Henry alone.  
  
He was so wrecked up and feeling dejected at the same time.  
  
And he couldn’t help to blame everything at Kyuhyun and his late best friend.  
  
 _Why did you have to leave us like this!?_  
  
  
  
Kyuhyun had to stop his sobs when he heard the door was being opened roughly by no other than Donghae. He felt his heartbeat racing once again but he kept pretending to be asleep. He didn’t want to talk to Donghae now. He was too weak and not prepared yet for that. Minutes later Donghae joined him on the bed. But the male didn’t try to touch him or everything. Kyuhyun didn’t know if he should feel relieved or sad with that.  
  
“Shit… I can’t.” He heard Donghae mumbling beside him minutes later. Just then he could feel Donghae leaving the bed. The door knob was clicked. Kyuhyun then opened his eyes. He looked at his behind through his shoulder.  
  
He was all alone in his room.  
  
Kyuhyun sighed heavily before wiping the tears away.  
  
He didn’t know.  
  
But Kyuhyun was sure that tomorrow would be a hell for all of them.  
  
  
  
It's almost noon when Kyuhyun woke up the next day. He never woke up that late, but he really couldn’t let himself sleep last night. He climbed down from the bed and came out from his room to get some foods. At the same time Kyuhyun saw Donghae who just arrived at home. For a brief a moment they shared a look and then Kyuhyun went to kitchen without saying anything to the older male.  
  
“Kyuhyun.” He heard Donghae calling him. Kyuhyun didn’t answer back and continued to enjoy his cereal. He just wanted to lock himself in his room and avoid the older male for the rest of day now. “Hey.” Just then Donghae appeared in front of him and he took a seat across Kyuhyun.  
  
“Hmhh…” Kyuhyun responded, still not bothering to look at the male.  
  
“Henry just moved to hotel this morning and he asked me to send his regard to you. I didn’t wake you up since you were sleeping soundly before.” He gave Donghae a small nod before stuffing his mouth with the cereal. “Anyway, can I ask you something?”  
  
Kyuhyun sighed out before asking back. His attention was still glued at the bowl in front of him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Did you by any chance say something harsh to Henry?” Donghae sounded so hesitant with his question.  
  
Kyuhyun tensed hearing that but he kept it cool. “I don’t remember.”  
  
“Kyuhyun.”  
  
“Did you blame me because Henry decided to stay at hotel instead of your house?”  
  
“I did not.”  
  
“You did.” Kyuhyun snapped. His tone was cold.  
  
“I know you so well when you get so jealous over someone.”  
  
“Don’t I have the right to be jealous to see my boyfriend spending his time more with another person?” Kyuhyun gritted his teeth, feeling the irritation had got him completely.  
  
“Seriously, Kyuhyun. You know that we are working and you get jealous over my best friend?”  
  
“Best friend? Really?”  
  
“What—”Donghae paused as he clenched his jaw and let out a breath. “What are you trying to say?”  
  
“Answer my question.”  
  
“Tell me.”  
  
Kyuhyun had to grip his spoon tightly with his clammy hand. He then asked, “What am I to you?” He silently counted until five and Donghae didn't say anything. He was just staring at him with his wide eyes. Kyuhyun gulped before asking the latter another one. “Do you... love me?” His voice was a bit shaky. But Donghae could only stare at him. "Donghae... please."  
  
“K-Kyuhyun— I-I—”  
  
Kyuhyun bit his lips as he slowly stood up. “Can you tell me… why?” He didn't blink to keep his tears from falling.  
  
“Don’t--” Hearing that from Donghae’s mouth Kyuhyun didn’t say anything and went to his bedroom right away. “Kyuhyun!”  
  
He didn’t turn around.  
  
His thoughts were jumbled. And it was hurting his head also his heart.  
  
 _What are we, actually?_  


  
Kyuhyun slammed the door loudly before locking it. He let himself fell back against the door, sliding down until he reached the floor. He was so confused and angry. Why Donghae couldn’t answer his questions?  
  
So Kyuhyun concluded.  
  
Donghae was feeding him with lies.  
  
But his love for Donghae was too real and pure.  
  
 _Who am I kidding here?_  
  
The pain came again. His head throbbed even more. Kyuhyun pulled his hair, wishing the pain to go away. Sweat covered his face and he felt his body getting weaker.  
  
He then heard voices calling his name.  
  
But it was not Donghae’s. Yet it was all too familiar for him.  
  
He whimpered.  
  
His world spinning and he was feeling dizzy.  
  
Kyuhyun tried to remember but it was just hurting him more.  
  
He groaned loudly and started to whisper Donghae’s name before he lost his consciousness completely.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the mentioned song on this chapter is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYIfiQlfaas&  
> It's not bad to listen the music while reading this chapter :) because I was listening to it while writing this chapter.

 

* * *

 

 _That time, when I opened my eyes, I was already surrounded by mirrors._  
  
 _This was probably a dream. Yes. So why was I here? I had no idea._  
  
 _Another question, though._  
  
 _‘Where is Donghae?’_  
  
 _So I walked aimlessly to find Donghae’s figure as I tried to ignore my own reflections on those motionless mirrors. Somehow I felt scary at the thought that I might be trapped here forever._  
  
 _‘Please, no.’_  
  
 _I had to know everything before whatever even would happen to me later._  
  
 _As far as I knew, Donghae was lying about our relationship._  
  
 _‘So, who was I? What did happen before I lost my memory? Fuck.’_  
  
 _Suddenly my body was paralyzed and I could hear a voice calling my name. That voice again. It was really familiar, but I couldn’t really recall who the owner was. And I was sure that I wasn’t longing for it either._  
  
 _But, hearing the voice brought the pain and somewhat guilt deep inside my heart._  
  
 _Just then, a very big mirror appeared right in front of my eyes. I couldn’t help but to stare. All of sudden, my reflection was gone and it got replaced but some kind of monochrome film. I didn’t have idea why I saw myself in there together with another male._  
  
 _It wasn’t Donghae apparently._  
  
 _Then I came to realize something._  
  
 _‘Hey, isn’t that him?’_  
  
 _Him. The boy who owned the dog that almost attacked when I was a kid back then. I told Donghae already about me dreaming our childhood memory. But I never told him when this boy had started to appear in my vision again after that. It was almost every night, I would dream of him. The boy had changed to be more mature. But his face was still kind of blurry. He never told me his name even just once, I never asked him as well. I wondered why._  
  
 _In every dream, there would be only the two of us. There wasn't Donghae. Every dream was sickeningly sweet and sometime intimate. As if we were having that kind of relationship. As if we were in love. I couldn't understand. Every time I woke up I would pretend it was nothing._  
  
 _The monochrome film was still playing there and that boy’s face was getting clearer._  
  
 _He was handsome. He had a warm smile. He was very kind and gentle._  
  
 _He stared at me lovingly. He held my hand with his warm one. He embraced me tightly as if he afraid that I would leave him._  
  
 _I felt my head spinning._  
  
 _This wasn’t right, at all._  
  
 _It was just a dream._  
  
 _So, Kyuhyun, please open your fucking eyes now._  
  
 _I felt enough already._  
  
  
  
“Please wake up.” He pleaded whilst stroking the back of his best friend’s hand. He watched the male closely with those sad eyes and then apologized. “I’m sorry, Kyuhyun.” Donghae closed his eyes as he leaned his back onto the chair, feeling restless after staying all night to look after the younger.  
  
“Ugh…” Donghae's body jolted up to hear Kyuhyun’s groan all of sudden. He leaned his body closer towards his friend and waited for the latter to open his eyes. “Hae.”  
  
He was speechless to hear Kyuhyun calling his name. He didn’t expect it at all before. “Y-yes, Kyu.”  
  
Just then, Kyuhyun finally opened his eyes. He stared at the male for a moment before letting out a sigh. “What happened? My head hurts.”  
  
“I didn't know what happen to you. But after we… got into a fight I went to your room to apologize. I knocked at your door, but you didn't answer me. I was so worried. I told you that I would use the duplicate key to open your door. You still didn't give me any reply. I was so worried. So I did open your door that way and you were already fainted.” Donghae took a deep breath after explaining everything at Kyuhyun. “I called Dr. Park. He said you were stressed. And it was my fault. I’m sorry.” Donghae added.  
  
“Hmm…”  
  
“How is your feeling now?”  
  
“Just a bit dizzy. And—” Donghae heard Kyuhyun’s stomach growling. “You got my answer.”  
  
Donghae chuckled lightly. “I will cook something for you.” He smiled as he lifted his hand to stroke Kyuhyun’s cheek. “Wait a min—” Donghae was surprised when Kyuhyun avoided his touch.  
  
“I’ll get some rest.” Kyuhyun said as he pulled the blanket over him until it covered his chin.  
  
“Ah… Okay. I’ll be back soon.” Donghae was too shocked to reply. He then stood up and walked out from Kyuhyun’s room to the kitchen.  
  
 _What was that?_  
  
And somehow, Donghae didn't like it at all.  
  
  
  
Apparently Kyuhyun couldn’t get himself another rest. His mind was occupied by what just happened between him and Donghae. He just avoided Donghae’s touch. It was something off the cuff. Maybe it was because he was still mad at the older.  
  
Donghae had hurt him after all and crushed his heart nonetheless.  
  
To think again that Kyuhyun had to find out what actually happen in the past. If Donghae wasn’t his boyfriend, he must be remained as Kyuhyun’s best friend only. Yet, Kyuhyun couldn't deny that he really crave for the male’s love a lot. But then, he wouldn't get anything if he asked Donghae now, would he?  
  
“By the way, I dreamed that boy again, huh?” Kyuhyun groaned loudly, feeling his head spinning again. “He could just say his name if he was freaking existed in my past life!”  
  
  
  
A few days later weren't any better because Kyuhyun was avoiding him on purpose. The male spent most of his time inside his bedroom. Donghae thought that maybe Kyuhyun was too tired and needed more rest. But Donghae didn't like having the awkward atmosphere between him and his friend. He knew he was at fault here and he would do something to fix it.  
  
In the end Donghae decided to spend most of his day in Kyuhyun’s room, looking after him. He made sure that the male eat his medicine at the right time. He also fed Kyuhyun with the food he was cooking. If he had nothing to do, he always tried to have random conversation as well. But he could tell that Kyuhyun got annoyed by his act.  
  
“You have something to say.” Donghae prompted. That was not even a question.  
  
“You are acting… weird. Feeling guilty towards me?” He flinched. Kyuhyun just hit the bulls-eye. “You don’t have to.”  
  
“Why is that? Am I disturbing you?”  
  
“C’mon, Donghae. Don’t play dumb with me!” Kyuhyun inhaled deeply before talking again. “I want to know the truth. But I know you won’t give in.”  
  
“It’s not that easy.” He simply replied.  
  
“So you thought it is actually easy for me?” Kyuhyun gritted his teeth. “I’m tired of guessing. But I believe that you are not taking any advantage from my condition. You are my best friend since childhood after all. I also know that… you love Henry.” Kyuhyun said those last words in whisper.  
  
Donghae couldn’t help but flinch hearing that. So Kyuhyun had found out his feeling towards Henry.  
  
How?  
  
When?  
  
He sighed out before giving his friend an explanation. “I’m not trying to take any advantage from you. I just wanted to help you, Kyuhyun, because you are my dearest friend, forever. I was going to wait until you remember everything. After that I would explain the truth to you. But it turned out that… I couldn’t do my best to do that.”  
  
“To do what? Pretending?” Donghae nodded his head slowly. “You were getting more awkward with that, am I right?”  
  
“Yeah.” Donghae said. He didn’t notice the pained expression on Kyuhyun’s face. “How did you know about my feeling towards Henry?” He carefully asked.  
  
“I heard it. That night I was pretending to be asleep because I got curious. Your crush towards Henry was too obvious anyway, you know.” Kyuhyun said with a pout. “And it angered me when you start accusing me about Henry.”  
  
“Oh God. Kyuhyun, I’m so sorry. I’m really an idiot.”  
  
“You are! And I’m still mad at you.” Kyuhyun deadpanned.  
  
“I can understand. But please, don’t avoid me. And well, just so you know, between me and Henry, we are clear already. I won’t lie that I still feel brokenhearted, though.”  
  
“Then why were you making up about our relationship since the very start?” Kyuhyun asked.  
  
Donghae was silent for awhile before answering his question. “It’s because I need you to be happy. I don’t want you to feel the emptiness in your heart.”  
  
“Why would I?”  
  
“Because—” Donghae bit his tongue hard before he could say anything.  
  
 _I can’t say it. Not now._  
  
“Because what?” Kyuhyun demanded him to answer when he didn't continue. So Donghae tried to give him a reasonable one.  
  
“It’s because you had spent most of your life with me, only. We were so attached to each other. If I told you that I was merely your best friend, I was sure it would not really convince you. But if you thought me as your lover, at least, you would rely on me until you heal.” Donghae bit his lip, hoping that Kyuhyun would believe him.  
  
“I don’t really get it.”  
  
“Just rely on me.” Donghae stressed it again whilst staring at Kyuhyun’s eyes deeply.  
  
“Rely on you. Well, until I heal, right?”  
  
“I don’t care if it’s forever.”  
  
“I will trouble you a lot or maybe I’m gonna make you as my slave.”  
  
“It’s still fine for me.”  
  
“Silly.”  
  
Donghae smiled widely as he felt the weight on his shoulders had lessened even only a bit.  
  
When he was done talking with Kyuhyun, Donghae went back to his bedroom. He then laid his body on the bed. He stared at the white ceiling, thinking what he had just said to his friend. Well, in the end he couldn’t spill everything to the other male yet. Obviously since that wasn't an easy thing to do. Seeing the younger male’s condition now made it more impossible as well. Donghae really didn't want to see Kyuhyun freak out to know his late boyfriend got shot to protect them both. It was also frustrated him that the case about them being targeted was still a mystery. Since the shooter ended up dead, it was kind of difficult for Donghae and the investigators to get some clues. Even though he tried to do some research, the result was futile. That’s why he brought Kyuhyun to Osaka. He wasn't sure if the country was such a good place to hide. Well, who knows if there were people who still want them to be terminated?  
  
Come to think of it, just what did they have done wrong in the past?  
  
Never once in his life the thought of him and his friends were being targeted to be killed ever cross his mind. He never did anything criminal. Donghae believed his friends were innocent too.  
  
What kind of a joke was it?  
  
  
  
Feeling bored, Kyuhyun decided to check the 2nd floor of Donghae’s house. He never did it before because he was too lazy to check it. The older male never said anything as well, so maybe there was nothing special there. But Kyuhyun was wrong. When he entered the nearest room from the stairway his jaw dropped down literally. The room was filled with beautiful paintings and photographs.  
  
“You liked it?” The sudden voice surprised him a lot. Kyuhyun turned around to see Donghae smiling at him. “Sorry I shocked you.”  
  
“I almost got myself a heart attack here!”  
  
“I apologized already!”  
  
Kyuhyun made a face at Donghae before he went back to admire the arts. “You bought them right?”  
  
“Haha. Yeah, you are right. I’m not that artsy.”  
  
“Oh, right. You are a businessman and you have the money to buy.” He said sarcastically. Donghae just laughed it off.  
  
“Hey.” Donghae caught his hand as he was about to see one of the paintgs closer. “You should play the piano or sing a song for me.”  
  
“Huh? What?”  
  
“Come with me. The piano is on the other room.”  
  
“H-hey!” Kyuhyun almost tripped on his heels when Donghae pulled his hand all of sudden. He was about to hit Donghae’s head when they entered the next room but the older male quickly pushed him to sit on the piano chair. “D-Donghae?” Kyuhyun squeaked.  
  
Donghae then sat beside Kyuhyun. “C’mon. Play or sing something for me, Kyu!” He repeated his request. The older male sounded like a little kid asking for a candy treat.  
  
Kyuhyun sighed before positioning his hands on the piano keys. He then played the instrumental song which he always heard on his iPhone. The title was  _Ljósið by Ólafur Arnalds_.  
  
“Is it an instrumental song?” Donghae asked once he finished his play.  
  
“Yeah. I really love it.”  
  
“Play it once more, I want to record it.”  
  
“Eh?”  
  
“Please.”  
  
Kyuhyun gave in and he nodded his head. “Alright.”  
  
He then saw Donghae taking out his phone. After getting the device ready he gestured Kyuhyun to start playing.  
  
“You really are the best, Kyu.” Donghae complimented after pressing the stop button. The recording went smoothly.  
  
“You could just download the original song, seriously.”  
  
“I prefer yours.” Hearing this, Kyuhyun’s cheeks blushed. They then remained sitting there for a moment. Kyuhyun didn't know what to say. But he enjoyed Donghae’s company beside him. “Let’s take a selca?”  
  
“S-selca?”  
  
“Look at here!” Donghae raised his phone and Kyuhyun couldn't help but to look at the camera lens. “Smile, Kyu!” So he tried to smile a little and then he heard the snap sound. Donghae checked the photo and he smiled. “You look so cute.”  
  
“I am not cute!”  
  
“I will set it as my wallpaper!”  
  
“What? Are you an idiot!?” Kyuhyun stood up feeling embarrassed after seeing the photo. He then left the room hastily. Actually he didn't want Donghae to see his blushing cheeks and the content smile on his lips. He couldn't let the male know that he still harbored that feeling towards the other.  
  
Was it possible for Donghae to love him as well?


	11. Chapter 11

 

* * *

 

So maybe, it would never cross on Donghae’s thought, at all.  
  
And Kyuhyun had no hope.  
  
Because he could see very well how much Donghae loved Henry. The male might’ve kept the feeling to himself for a long time already. The older even told him that he was still feeling hurt for being rejected. Well, Henry chose the cousin over him after all.  
  
 _That must be really hurt._  
  
He could really tell it because he was in the same position with Donghae right now.  
  
Kyuhyun really wanted to laugh at himself.  
  
And again, why Kyuhyun could love the older male so much?  
  
Was Donghae his longtime crush since forever?  
  
He sighed loudly, feeling tired for dealing over his feeling towards that certain male a lot.  
  
Kyuhyun should make up his mind.  
  
 _Keep it or let it go._  
  
  
  
“Donghae.” Kyuhyun called the male who was busy watching the TV. Donghae’s works were finally done for good and he was having his free time right now.  
  
“Hey, you are awake already?” He asked. “Come and join me.” Donghae invited as he patted the empty spot next to him.  
  
Kyuhyun nodded his head as he walked over the male before sitting beside him. “What are you watching?” He asked whilst leaning his back onto the soft cushion.  
  
“Random show. It’s quite funny.” Donghae answered as he shifted his body closer to him, practically leaning at his side. Kyuhyun felt his cheeks burning.  
  
“You are heavy, you know.” He said.  
  
“Do you have something to say?” The male completely ignored his complaint.  
  
“Let’s go somewhere. It’s fine although we just wander around city and end up watching the snowfall from inside the car.” Kyuhyun blabbed.  
  
“Your point is, you don’t want to have a talk with me in the house, isn’t it?”  
  
“I’m asking you out for a date.”  
  
“Kyuhyun, I--”  
  
“That was a joke, Donghae. It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Kyuhyun cut him. “Get off of me! You are heavy!” He pushed Donghae’s body away playfully before taking the remote control away from the male’s hand. “Where are the animes?” He asked while abusing the remote button.  
  
“I will prepare the car okay, we will go in fifteen minutes.”  
  
“Hmh, okay. I will take a quick shower then.”  
  
“We could get us a breakfast and a cup of coffee for you on our way, okay?”  
  
“Sounds great.”  
  
With that Donghae got up from his seat and left Kyuhyun alone. When Donghae had to see the car outside Kyuhyun then let out a heavy sigh. The TV wasn’t that interesting anymore so he turned it off and went to the bathroom to take a quick, hot shower.  
  
As Kyuhyun got dressed already he heard a knock on his door. He told Donghae to wait for a moment. He looked at the mirror once again before getting out from his room.  
  
“Are you ready?” Donghae asked whilst playing with the key car with his finger. Kyuhyun looked at the male oddly and then nodded his head.  
  
“But, Donghae, your clothing is too much.”  
  
“It’s really cold outside!” He protested.  
  
“But you have a heater inside your car! Take off that sweater, just wear a coat, seriously. And also that thick scarf, oh my God, your appearance is pissing me off.”  
  
“You seem feeling better.” Donghae said sarcastically before going to his room to change. “I can’t go out without a scarf!” Kyuhyun heard Donghae’s shout.  
  
“Wear the black one!”  
  
Oh, did he just rule Donghae about clothing? It made him smiling a bit.  
  
Minutes later Donghae came out. The male was wearing what Kyuhyun just advised before. “Any complaint, madam?”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
Donghae sighed in relief. “C’mon, I’m really hungry.”  
  
With that Kyuhyun followed the male behind as he pushed away the thought of holding the older’s male hand.  
  
 _A month ago seemed better than now, though it was just an act._  Kyuhyun thought sadly.  
  
  
  
Donghae drove them to the nearest food stall in the town. They bought some healthy sandwiches for them also Donghae didn’t forget buying a take-out hot coffee from starbucks drive thru for Kyuhyun. After that the male continued to drove the car to a somewhat quiet place.  
  
Kyuhyun was deep in his thought so he didn’t notice when Donghae had stopped the car.  
  
“We are here.” The male’s voice surprised him. He looked around to see where Donghae had taken him out.  
  
“Where are we?”  
  
“Somewhere really quiet. Hmhh... We can talk outside, the weather is quite warm.” Donghae suggested. Kyuhyun just nodded his head before getting out from the car bringing the coffee with him.  
  
Once he was outside Kyuhyun leaned his back against the railing. He sipped his coffee as he looked at the river behind him through his shoulder.  
  
Donghae came approaching him and then the male offered him the sandwich.  
  
“Thank you.” Kyuhyun muttered. He was really hungry so he filled his stomach first before having a conversation with the other male.  
  
“Okay. We can talk now?” Donghae started as he turned around his body. He folded his arms on the top rail and leaned forwards; his head was tilted slightly, looking at Kyuhyun.  
  
Kyuhyun then copied the older but he kept his eyes staring on his take-out coffee.  
  
“As you said, we are best-friend right?”  
  
“Definitely.” Donghae answered right away. It pained Kyuhyun a little bit.  
  
“You won’t try to… uhh… bring our relationship more than that?” Kyuhyun carefully asked.  
  
“I don’t think I can though.”  
  
“Why?” Donghae was silent. Kyuhyun asked again. “If one day you have that kind of... feeling towards me...”  
  
“I don’t even think that-- that day will come though.”  
  
“What if--that day comes? What will you do?”  
  
Donghae was silent for awhile. And a low whisper came out from his mouth. “I don’t know."  
  
Kyuhyun took a deep breath before letting it out slowly.  
  
It must be related with his past.  
  
It pissed him a lot because he still couldn’t remember it at all. And Donghae clearly couldn’t answer him if he asked the male.  
  
It also pissed him a lot that Donghae had clearly closed his heart for him.  
  
“If I ask you now, about what happened to me in the past, will you explain it? It’s pissing me off every second of my life.” Kyuhyun was trying to dig it. Donghae just gave him his silence as the answer. Kyuhyun sighed exasperatedly. He faced Donghae and leaned his forwards against the male’s shoulder. "I'm sick of this."  
  
“Kyuhyun, just cry if you want. I’ll always be by your side.”  
  
But that would never be enough for him, Kyuhyun didn't tell Donghae that.  
  
 _I’m sorry, Donghae... I’m fucking egoist._  
  
So he did cry.  
  
  
  
It was almost two in the afternoon when they decided to go back home. Kyuhyun told Donghae that he wanted to go to Mouse Rabbit cafe. The male nodded his head before typing the cafe name on the GPS. He then drove his car away.  
  
The trip was silent obviously.  
  
Donghae then asked Kyuhyun if the car was warm enough for him. Kyuhyun just nodded his head lazily.  
  
And their conversation ended there.  
  
Kyuhyun didn’t try to say anything because he was still pissed off at himself, at everything.  
  
And he need to talk to Sungmin about everything.  
  
Twenty minutes later they arrived at the said place. Before Donghae drove again to park his car Kyuhyun told the male to just go home. He wanted to be alone for now.  
  
“Stop frowning at me, I won’t get drunk here.” Kyuhyun blurted out.  
  
“I know. And I still remember about you saying that you want to come to this place together with me.”  
  
“And you told me that you want to visit this place with Henry also.” He smirked. Donghae’s eyes twitched a bit. Kyuhyun gulped, feeling a bit guilty. “Well, I’m sure I can’t stop bitching around when I’m really pissed off. So, just go home now, Donghae.” Kyuhyun said as he got himself out from the car.  
  
“I’ll wait you at home, Kyuhyun.”  
  
 _Home. It doesn’t feel like one to me anymore._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fic trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NSFkbIdQv9U

 

* * *

  

“We are. now. officially. broke up.”  
  
Kyuhyun finally dropped the bomb to his friend. He saw Sungmin choked in his coffee and Kyuhyun thought it was a funny sight, really, but he just couldn’t bring himself to laugh now. “What?” He asked when Sungmin didn’t stop glaring at him.  
  
“You should warn me first! Oh my God.” Sungmin nagged before coughing furiously again. “What happened?”  
  
Kyuhyun sighed out heavily, “It’s just pointless. Our relationship...” Kyuhyun smiled sadly. “He said he can’t, so I won’t fuss him about it again.” He added.  
  
His mind was starting to recall those sweet moments with the older male and he missed it. Maybe he shouldn’t know the truth at all. It would be less suffering for him, right?  
  
“So, are you going back to Korea?”  
  
He suddenly perked up at hearing the question. Kyuhyun was bewildered actually. “Why?”  
  
“Yah! Are you planning to stay in your ex-boyfriend’s house forever?” Sungmin frowned hard while pointing his finger towards Kyuhyun.  
  
Oh, right, Sungmin didn’t know the truth that Donghae wasn’t his boyfriend from the very first. But he was right though. It would be better if Kyuhyun leave and create some distances with the male. He could learn to stop loving Donghae. And maybe, he could—  
  
“Cho Kyuhyun!”  
  
He was startled at the loud call of his name.  
  
“Oh, sorry, I was zoned out. Uhh, no. I will stay in Japan.” Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“Where? With who?” Sungmin’s stare was somewhat too intense. Kyuhyun fidgeted on his seat, feeling uncomfortable. He tried to make an excuse, but couldn’t think any, so he only shook his head. “Poor, Kyu.” Sungmin rolled his eyes.  
  
“Can y-you can help me?” Kyuhyun asked. Sungmin’s face brightened a bit and he nodded his head. “Cool.”  
  
  
  
Around three in the afternoon, Kyuhyun left Mouse and Rabbit. His mind couldn’t stop thinking at Sungmin’s offer. The male was telling him to live with Ryeowook and he could just work at Mouse and Rabbit to help the male as the rent fee.  
  
Kyuhyun was really interested and he even nodded his head already as the respond, liking the idea.  
  
But… how to discuss this matter with Donghae?  
  
Did he really want to leave the male though?  
  
 _Keep it or let it go?_  
  
Kyuhyun asked that question again.  
  
And he knew right away what the best was for him.  
  
  
  
When he reached home, Donghae was currently busy cooking in the kitchen. Kyuhyun guessed it was for their dinner. But his appetite hadn’t returned yet.  
  
He then sighed as he walked towards the male’s direction. Kyuhyun surprised him by tapping his shoulder. He laughed when Donghae let out a cute yelp. The latter then turned around with a frown on his face. He was sure that Donghae would scold him but he didn’t, he poked his nose instead using the tip of his index finger. And Kyuhyun’s cheek flushed instantly at his cute act.  
  
“Don’t do that again, especially in the kitchen!” Donghae warned softly before he went to stir the curry again.  
  
Kyuhyun huffed as he sat on his chair. He was sitting there in silence, thinking about how to start the topic, since it was obvious that Donghae wouldn’t let him to leave his house. The main reason would be his health. And there wasn’t any reason besides that was it?  
  
When the meals were ready, he only watched as Donghae served the dinner for the both of them. Kyuhyun smiled to thank him. Donghae started eating his foods, but he just played with it.  
  
“You are still upset?” Donghae asked, surprising him. Kyuhyun quickly shook his head.  
  
“I’m sorry. I will just go to my room.” Before he could stand, Donghae already grabbed his wrist. Kyuhyun glared at him as he pulled his hand away. He wanted to complain, but the male beat him first.  
  
“Stay.” The other demanded. “It’s okay if you don’t touch your food at all. But please, stay.”  
  
“Let’s talk after you finish your dinner.” Kyuhyun said and Donghae nodded his head. Just now, he noticed the dishes in front of him. The male was cooking a lot of foods for them. Kyuhyun then sighed again, feeling guilty. “Thank you for the foods.” He finally said as he started to stuff his mouth with Donghae’s cooks.  
  
“Aww…” Donghae cooed. Kyuhyun didn’t say anything.  
  
And they ate in silence.  
  
When they were finished eating, Donghae took his time to wash the dishes. Kyuhyun was still sitting on his chair whilst thinking about his decision. That question suddenly popped up into his mind again, but Kyuhyun wasn’t sure with the answer now. Would he change his decision?  
  
“Kyu.” Donghae called his name and it surprised him a bit. “Do you want to eat ice cream?”  
  
Kyuhyun took a deep breath before saying, “Donghae… can we just—talk, now?”  
  
 “Fine.” Donghae hissed as he took a seat across him.  
  
They kept their mouth shut for a moment until Kyuhyun started to speak up.  
  
“Let’s live separately.” He said it after carefully choosing the right words. He saw Donghae clenching his hands into a fist and Kyuhyun had to look away.  
  
“You can’t.” Donghae firmly said. “Will never allow you.”  
  
Kyuhyun encouraged himself to look at the male and he noticed the agony in his eyes right away. His heart wrenched in pain seeing that expression on the older male’s face. If only Donghae realized how much he loved him. He honestly didn’t want to leave him either, but he couldn’t continue his life like this.  
  
“I can live by my own now. Don’t worry—”  
  
“You don’t understand, Kyuhyun.” Donghae interjected him. “I’ll go to sleep now. Good night.”  
  
He didn’t say anything and just let the male to go to his bedroom. Kyuhyun was still sitting there, trying to control his anger. He was upset at Donghae. His friend was being unfair to him.  
  
“You are the one who not understand at all.” Kyuhyun whispered.  
  
Soon after that a muffled sob could be heard. He was silently crying there.  
  
 _Love me or let me go. I beg you, Donghae._  
  
  
  
Since he couldn’t sleep at all, Kyuhyun had spent his time watching DVDs in the living room. He couldn’t focus on the thing he was currently watching though. Since his head was filled by Donghae. He had so many questions right now.  
  
Was it a rushed decision to leave this house?  
  
But, could he live together with Donghae while putting aside his feeling towards the male?  
  
His current feeling for Donghae could be a momentary too, right? Donghae was a nice guy; everyone could fall for him easily anyway.  
  
When he got his memories back, maybe he could live together with the male as his best friend. Just like in the past.  
  
Yeah, Kyuhyun? You can do it,huh?  
  
Hearing his phone beeping, he quickly pressed the button to pause the film and then took the device in front of him. He read Sungmin’s message and quickly replied it before emptying his inbox.  
  
 _[12.01 AM Kyuhyun] I will give you the answer in two weeks._  
  
  
  
Donghae was drenched in his sweat when he woke up. The nightmare came again, haunting him in his sleep. He then wiped his face roughl, while growling deeply. Feeling thirsty, he left his bed after checking the time on his phone. It was 2 in the morning. Donghae sighed again, knowing that he only had slept for only three hours. He was so tired but sadly, he couldn’t get a peaceful sleep at all.  
  
Once he left his bedroom, Donghae could hear the faint sound (he guessed it was the TV) coming from the living room. He wondered if Kyuhyun forget to turn it off. So he walked towards the source of the sound and was surprised to see the younger male was asleep on the sofa. Donghae left him for a moment to get himself a glass of water first before going back to the living room.  
  
After turning off the TV, Donghae lifted the sleeping body to his bedroom. Too bad, Kyuhyun locked the door and Donghae didn’t have the time to search for the duplicate key now. So he didn’t have any choice but to let the other male sleep in his room for tonight. Donghae was actually happy that he had a good reason for having Kyuhyun to sleep by his side again to cease his nightmare. He smiled at the thought.  
  
  
  
When Kyuhyun opened his eyes, he was still trying to recognize the room he was currently at. It wasn’t the living room when he noticed that he was currently lying on the bed. But it wasn’t his bedroom either. Kyuhyun abruptly opened his eyes and he finally realized that it was actually Donghae’s room. He was sleeping on the male’s bed. But… HOW? And why Donghae wasn’t by his side now to clear the situation for him? He was sure that he wasn’t drunk last night.  
  
The sudden ring from his phone shocked Kyuhyun. He quickly searched for it and picked the phone quickly. It was Donghae on the line.  
  
 _“Morning.”_ Donghae’s greet was too casual in Kyuhyun’s ear and he didn’t like it. _“Why are you so silent?”_  
  
“I still can’t comprehend why I woke up at your room instead mine.” Kyuhyun said it right away as he slipped out from the bed.  
  
 _“I don’t know either. Maybe you were too sleepy and ended up sleeping in the wrong room.”_ He frowned at hearing the answer. Was Donghae really saying the truth? He wasn’t that clumsy. _“But, I’m so thankful to have you sleep by my side. Thank you.”_  
  
Kyuhyun was getting more confused for a moment but then he understood why Donghae had thanked him.  
  
“Where are you now?”  
  
 _“I’ll be home soon. I also took your spare key… just in case.”_  
  
“Donghae—”  
  
 _“See you soon.”_  
  
Donghae ended the call. Kyuhyun let out a tired sigh.  
  
While waiting for Donghae, he took his time to observe the older male’s room. He never had the time to do it before so he was curious now. To think of it, Kyuhyun also didn’t have time to know the male better. He might know everything about Donghae before he lost his memories. So, looking at his stuffs hopefully would help him to remember something about the male.  
  
Firstly, Kyuhyun examined the photos on Donghae’s wall. Seeing the sophisticated DSLR camera on the male’s desk, he was sure that those photos were taken by him. Donghae must be interested in photography. As he kept looking, Kyuhyun’s eyes were suddenly fixed at one of the photos. It was a photo of Donghae hugging the dog that he always saw in his dream.  
  
 _If this dog was existed in our life, then it meant... That person could be—_  
  
Kyuhyun stopped looking at the photos and started to examine Donghae’s bookshelves instead. He was determined to find some photo albums of him. His friend must be stored it somewhere. Why he never thought of this before? But it would be really unfortunate for him if Donghae just leave them in Korea.  
  
Gosh, he really couldn’t find it anywhere. He had checked thoroughly but his effort was ultimately futile.  
  
He let out a sigh, feeling dejected because he was failed to get more clues about his past.  
  
“I’m home.”  
  
At hearing his friend’s voice, Kyuhyun quickly stood up and went back to the bed. He sat there and waited for Donghae’s figure to invade the bedroom.  
  
Once he saw his friend stick his head through the partially open door of his bedroom, Kyuhyun only looked at him bemusedly. The male smiled up at him. He looked so fine. Did he forget that they were arguing last night?  
  
“Somehow, you are looking very relaxed.” Kyuhyun commented.  
  
“Let’s have a breakfast, Kyu.” Donghae asked, but Kyuhyun shook his head as he pulled his legs to his chest and hugged them, his chin was resting on it. “We won’t talk about last night’s topic again, ever.” Donghae added as he entered the room and sat on the bed. Kyuhyun gave the male in front of him displeased look and then he sighed out.  
  
“Alright.” Kyuhyun answered giving in.  
  
“Let’s eat now?” Donghae persuaded, but he shook his head again just to tease his friend. “Kyuhyun ah, I’m starting to get upset.” Donghae was frowning as he shifted closer towards Kyuhyun. He couldn’t even dodge when the older male pushed his body down, tickling his tummy.  
  
“No-!” Kyuhyun screamed while laughing contentedly. “Hae—Noooo!” He begged, but Donghae kept tickling him until Kyuhyun agreed to have breakfast together. “I hate you!” He screamed between his pants. Donghae only let out a satisfied laugh.  
  
“You are such a mess.” Donghae commented at Kyuhyun’s current appearance before laughing again. He then pulled his body away from the younger male and helped him to wake up. “C’mon, I know that both of us are hungry.”  
  
Kyuhyun didn’t have any choice but to follow the male who had his arm around his waist to the kitchen.  
  
 _It’s going to be fine even just like this, isn’t it?_  
  
Kyuhyun smiled a little for being positive.  
  
  
  
A few days later, in the middle of the night, Kyuhyun was awakened by the same nightmare again. Since he knew that he was alone in the room, he felt so scared. Kyuhyun could only hug his pillow very tightly, trying to relax himself.  
  
Seeing the empty glass on the nightstand, he then left his bed to get a glass of water at the kitchen. Walking slowly, Kyuhyun brought his heels to the door of his bedroom and opened it. He then silently went to the kitchen and was shocked to see Donghae was also there to get a drink.  
  
“Nightmare?” Kyuhyun asked the male with a clear voice deliberately to startle him and then chuckled to see Donghae’s body jolt up in shock. His face looked somewhat anxious and nervous.  
  
“Cho Kyuhyun, that was not funny.” Donghae warned as he sat himself on the chair. Kyuhyun scrunched his face cutely, telling his friend that he was just joking. “Not cute.”  
  
“I’m adorable.” Kyuhyun smirked and then he took a seat beside Donghae.  
  
“Nightmare?” His friend suddenly asked him with the same question. His eyes looked worried. So Kyuhyun shook his head, lying. He didn’t want to stress the male more. He also determined to make Donghae think that he was fine now.  
  
“I’m just thirsty.” He answered. “You?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Well, you know already that the answer for your problem is right beside you now.” Kyuhyun laughed at his own joke. He pouted when Donghae only kept his blank face. “I’m just joking! At least smile a little. You are so… so heartless.” He complained.  
  
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean that.” Donghae scratched his nape. Kyuhyun noticed the male being awkward all of sudden. But he waited Donghae to continue what he was going to say. “Actually… I-I…”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You—Please sleep— ughh.” Donghae looked away.  
  
“Huh? Are you telling me to go back to sleep?” Kyuhyun made a face, so confused by Donghae. “Well then, Donghae. Good night—” A sudden strong grip on Kyuhyun’s arm had shocked him. He looked down to see at his friend who was still looking anywhere but him. “Donghae?”  
  
“Please— sleep in my room… if you want.”  
  
Without waiting for Kyuhyun’s answer, Donghae had left him alone there. He was still rooted on the floor, trying to register what his friend just said to him. Kyuhyun blinked his eyes for a few times and then he smiled.  
  
With light steps, he walked to the direction of Donghae’s room and let himself in. In the dim light Kyuhyun could see Donghae who currently lying on his side on the bed with eyes closed. Slowly, he joined his friend on the bed, sleeping beside his friend and Kyuhyun closed his eyes to sleep.  
  
“Good night, Hae.”  
  
“Good night.”  
  
At last, both of them slept soundly with a contented smile painted on their face.  
  
There was a wish from the male to have another night, like this, again at the next day and for another next day and… well…  
  
 _Would you like to lie beside me every night, Kyu?_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, finally I could write this chapter, struggling a lot, and I don't think if this worth for the wait. But I hope you enjoy it guys. I will take another long time for updating again, since I'll be focusing on my last year assignment and for graduation. pls, pray for me (/; u ;)/
> 
> see you later...talk to me on twitter if u want: @_haixian


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise!

* * *

 

 

“—Hyun? Kyuhyun!”

A very loud call from Sungmin jolted Kyuhyun awake from his own train of thoughts and unfortunately created an abrupt motion that caused his head to hit the wall behind him.

Kyuhyun’s face contorted into a painful expression. He kept rubbing the stinging spot furiously whilst trying hard not to unleash his anger at the older male in front of him.

“Damn you.” He muttered under his breath.

“Thanks for ignoring me.” Sungmin rolled his eyes as he sipped his own hot latte. The latter’s face looked upset and Kyuhyun suddenly felt guilty for spacing out instead of talking out the problem he was having.

 And he was actually the one who suggested the meet up today.

“Argh! I’m going crazy!” Kyuhyun screamed desperately as he buried his fingers in his blonde hair and messed it up.

 

  

“Hyung!? What’s the matter?”

“I’m going crazy, Henry!”

“Donghae hyung!? Get a grip of yourself!” Henry shouted again, trying to bring the older male’s sanity back. Their conversation was started a few minute ago, but all Donghae did were just screaming, whining, and talking gibberish. “I will just go back to the hotel now. Do you hear me!?”

“Henry ya…” Donghae pleaded desperately as he faked the crying sound.

“This is so annoying, really…” Henry sighed loudly so he could hear it. “Spill it, now.”

“Kyuhyun said… that... that he wants us to live separately—”

Before he could finish talking, Henry already cut him with a shout.

“What!? No no no!”

“Calm down, Henry—”

“I will hate you for the rest of my life if you let Kyuhyun hyung leave your side!” The younger male threatened. Donghae was actually speechless after hearing that.

“Henry! Did you really think that I would just let him go like that!?” He paused a moment to take a deep breath and continued. “Don’t worry, we’ve talked already and he didn’t bring up the topic again since a week ago.”

“Thanks God.” Henry breathed a sigh of relief. “I told you already. You should be more generous as his boyfriend—”

Donghae quickly interrupted him.

“No, Henry...” Donghae bit his lips hard. He was not sure yet if he should tell his friend about this. “Uhm, that… actually… we are...” He did tell Henry in the end.

  

“W-What? You decided to stay because he asked so?” Kyuhyun nodded his head very hesitantly before looking away. “But, you guys broke up already for God’s sake! Aren’t you too submissive!?” Sungmin was giving him a disapproving look now. “Do you love him that much?” He asked again.

Kyuhyun kept silent and watched how his friend cringed in annoyance.

“I said it already. It’s only for two weeks, Sungmin.” He retorted to make his friend less angry at him.

“Why do you have to wait? What do you expect actually?” More questions and Kyuhyun wasn’t sure at first if he should tell the male. But he did answer them in the end because he felt intimidated by the stare that Sungmin was giving.

“Honestly, I’m not sure myself if I really want to leave him, because it’s not that easy for us.” He smiled sadly. “Then my subconscious mind wanted me to wait for a little more. Maybe, I really need time to mend this heart so we can build a new relationship between us, as a good friend, like in the past. Or maybe, that’s just me trying to make up some kinds of excuses so I can stay with him for a little longer.”

_You are right. I love him so much._

“It is your excuse. A few days left and I will bet on my life that you won’t make it.” Sungmin responded so coldly and Kyuhyun let out a bitter laugh.

“You don’t have to tell me the answer… because I know it already.”

“My offer is still on though. Don’t worry, I can wait.” His friend gave him an assuring smile.

“Thanks.”

  

 

“I now understand why he wanted to leave.” Henry sighed. “He is hurting.”

Donghae could feel his heart broke a little after hearing Henry’s comment.

And he instantly fell into silence as he recalled the day when they had a very tense quarrel and also when Kyuhyun lost his consciousness after that. Donghae slowly closed his eyes and almost cried as he thought the image of Kyuhyun’s pained expression.

He regretted everything again and wondered if he had apologized enough to the male.

_I am the worst._

“I was such an insensitive prick.” Donghae confessed, feeling down and guilty. “What should I do now? What if I hurt him again?”

“Hyung, why don’t you start to tell what he wants to hear? Why do you have to wait until Kyuhyun hyung remembers everything? It’s stressing him even more.”

“It might give him a great shock and I’m not ready yet to face the worst thing that could happen to him later.”

“But, hyung—”

“What if Kyuhyun keeps blaming himself after knowing that his late boyfriend got shot to protect us, Henry? The feeling of losing someone you loved so much… We know it very well. I don’t think his condition is fully recovered enough to deal with this.” Donghae’s breath hitched when the memories of his dad and Uncle Kim came to him at once. But he quickly shrugged them away.

“Well, you get the points there, hyung. ”

He hummed lowly. “The reason why I brought him to Japan and why I don’t have any photos of _him_ in our house is so Kyuhyun to remember everything slowly. I always pray that what I am doing right now is actually the best thing for him, but I ended up hurting him in the process.” Donghae sighed again to calm his racing heart after giving Henry a very long explanation.

“You didn’t do that intentionally. God knows you never meant to hurt him in the first place. We should be more careful.”

 “Sorry, I suddenly got all worked up about this. I don’t want those bad things to happen, but I just can’t stop myself to worry.” Donghae hissed whilst shaking his head.

“Everything will be okay, hyung. Trust me.” Henry took his hand and held it tightly to comfort him. “I know you can do this, since you know him very well after all. And we will help you.” He smiled.

Feeling relaxed a little, he then let out a deep sigh and looked at the younger male. “Thanks, Henry. I’m really thankful that you don’t hate me after what happened before.” Donghae smiled a little as he gave a light squish towards the latter’s hand before pulling it away.

“There is no reason for me to hate you now, really.” His friend chuckled a little. “Anyway, you should treat Kyuhyun hyung better now. You can spend more time with him since you have finished your works already.”

“Don’t worry about that. I even prepared a surprise party for his birthday already.”

“Oh, shoot! Tomorrow is February, I almost forgot. Do you need my help?” Henry rubbed his palms together, looking very excited.

“No, it’s okay. I can do everything alone.” He said confidently, feeling a little bit too proud. “I’m almost done anyway.”

“Oh, Dude! Look at that idiotic smile on your face right now!”

At hearing that, Donghae quickly changed his expression. His face was blushing madly. “S-Shut up!”

 

Time flied really fast and Donghae had to face another lonely night in his bedroom again because he was too shy to ask Kyuhyun for a company. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt like this, because usually Donghae just barged into the younger male’s room and pulled him to his room after that. He did that constantly for one week already, seriously. But he just couldn’t do it tonight. He was even getting a little bit awkward when they passed each other a moment ago, really stupid, because he almost hit his head on the door of his bedroom.

He even tried to forget the memory where his heartbeat getting faster as he found Kyuhyun clinging to him like a koala when he woke up every morning. It didn't end there; he even blushed hard every time he saw the latter’s sleeping face was really close with his.

The struggle was real for Donghae, obviously.

He wasn’t ready for this.

He even made everything clear already about their relationship.

_And it wasn’t going to be a bullshit._

Just then, a sudden notification tone from his phone startled him a little. Donghae took the device quickly and quirked an eyebrow knowing it was from Kyuhyun.

_[Kyuhyun 09:23 PM] Good night, Hae._

The gentle warmth instantly spread through his heart after reading the message. Donghae bit his lower lip and smiled as he tried to type a proper reply. But, it wasn far to be called proper in the end.

_[Donghae 09:28 PM] You are going to sleep already? That’s fast._

And soon after that, both of the males were immersed in texting each other.

_[Kyuhyun 09:30 PM] Yeah. Why?_

_[Donghae 09:34 PM] Sleep is for the week. How is your nightmare?_

_[Kyuhyun 09:36 PM] Weak*. I just pray for it. Anw, Shouldn’t I be the one to ask you that?_

_[Donghae 09:39 PM] Oh! A typo, sorry, hahaha. Aw, I hope you don’t dream anything bad. Umh, ask about it then. T_______T_

Kyuhyun took a long time to reply and it made Donghae sad somehow. Maybe he fell asleep already, but Donghae insisted to text him once again to confirm it.

_[Donghae 09:45 PM] Sleep?_

No reply. He almost gave up and got himself ready to end the day, but then his phone beeped all of sudden.

He was beyond happy to see a message from the younger male.

_[Kyuhyun 09:47 PM] Nope. Ask what? Nightmare?_

_[Donghae 09: 50 PM] Yep. T______T_

_[Kyuhyun 09:54 PM]_ _ㄱ__ _ㄱ. How is your nightmare? You have to tell me what you are dreaming, really. If it doesn’t make sense, I will knock your head. Ugh, you made me type too much._

_[Donghae 09:57 PM] I can’t sleep because I’m afraid. T_______T Are you not afraid?_

_[Kyuhyun 09:59 PM]Oh. I’m not._

_[Donghae 10.00 PM] Geez, Kyu. Just bring your ass here. I know you are afraid too. Let’s cuddle <3 T_____________T_

_[Kyuhyun 10.05 PM] Ewwww, do not want. Good night!_

_[Donghae 10.06 PM] I meant it!!! T_______T Kyu~~~_

No more reply and Donghae had to let out a defeated sigh.

He was just joking about the cuddling thingy actually. But he wouldn’t deny the disappointment he was feeling right now that Kyuhyun really didn’t buy it.

And now Donghae was trying to get some sleep but it was just really difficult all of sudden.

He wasn’t getting used with the younger male sleeping beside him right?

He sighed.

But then his phone beeped again. Donghae took his phone and quickly another reply from Kyuhyun. He was really anticipating this.

_[Kyuhyun 10.10 PM] Ya! You said you want to cuddle, why are you sleeping already without me!?_

Donghae’s eyes widened right away after reading the message. And that moment he heard a soft sigh behind him, he quickly rolled his body over and was surprised to see the younger male already inside his room.

“What’s with that expression? Stupid.” His friend said coolly as he made his way to sit on the bed. “I was waiting for your escort, but you summoned me here tonight using a different way. I wonder why.” Kyuhyun said looking at him.

“I was just joking about it.”

“Of course.” Kyuhyun’s reply was fast. “But I know you can’t sleep. So?”

“Duh, okay. You win!” Donghae said, defeated. He then gently circled his right arm around Kyuhyun’s torso so he could pull down the male to lie beside him. “Now, I’m not afraid anymore.” He said whilst pulling the younger male’s body closer to him.

“Good, now let’s sleep.” He heard Kyuhyun whisper sleepily.

“Do you have time this Sunday?”

“Yeah, I think. Why?”

Donghae hid his smile and cleared his throat. “Nothing.”

“Weird.”

 

 

The very much awaited day finally came. Donghae already left the house in early morning to finalize the plan that he made to celebrate Kyuhyun’s birthday. He wasn’t sure if the younger male actually remember the day or not, but hopefully the male would be happy with it. Donghae found himself getting so anxious just by imagining Kyuhyun’s surprised expression later.

_I’m always feeling grateful that you are still alive._

 

 

The blaring sound of the alarm tone from his phone had stirred him up completely from his peaceful sleep. Kyuhyun’s head jerked up as he tried to open his still heavy eyelids only to see Donghae wasn’t beside him. He then threw his head towards his pillow again and his expression turned sour right away.

“I thought he would ask me to go somewhere with him today.” He complained in slurry tones. “I hoped too much.”

Kyuhyun then decided to sleep for another hour while hugging Donghae’s pillow.

He missed the male already.

Even though he knew he should be less attached towards the older male.

 

 

When he woke up later, Kyuhyun got a message from Sungmin. The male asked his company to go out today. He quickly agreed and asked the latter to wait for him. At least today wasn’t going to be boring.

An hour later, he was arrived at a very luxurious shopping mall that Sungmin had mentioned to him. He saw his friend was sitting on the bench in front of the fountain, waiting for his arrival. Kyuhyun then waved his hand and Sungmin took a notice and also waved back.

“Sorry for making you wait.” Kyuhyun apologized right away.

“No need to apologize.” Sungmin smiled and they started going for a stroll with Kyuhyun walking beside his friend. “I actually expected you couldn’t come with me.”

“Why?”

“Hmm, I thought you have a special plan today with Donghae.” His friend laughed a little.

“Special plan? But, we don’t have anything to celebrate.” Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders.

After hours of looking around, Kyuhyun, as usual, asked Sungmin to rest for a moment. His legs were too tired already. He still couldn’t get himself used to walk for a long time like Sungmin. Luckily, the older male granted his plea without being fussy and Kyuhyun quickly used the spare time to check his phone. Much to his horror, Kyuhyun just noticed now that Donghae had sent him messages and even tried to call him several times. He quickly read everything.

 

-   _Where are you now? I want to make sure that you read the note I left on the nightstand table._

\-   _It’s almost 8 PM. Where are you? Why no reply?_

\-   _Kyuhyun? Hey, why you didn’t pick up my call? I hope you are on your way._

\-   _It’s 8PM already. You don’t read the note, huh? I’m still waiting at Relais & Chateaux. Please, come._

 

“Shit, Sungmin. I need to go now!” Kyuhyun already stood up, but Sungmin quickly prevented him by gripping his arm.

“But I haven’t bought anything for you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m sorry for being rude, but I need to go, Donghae is waiting.” He said in a rush.

“I will drive you.”

Kyuhyun nodded his head and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Sungmin.

So they left their current spot and briskly searched for the nearest elevator. But unfortunately they were late for it and Kyuhyun refused to wait for another turn because it would take a long time. The escalators were too far as well. In the end he and Sungmin chose the emergency exit, the closest one, to take the stairs since they were just on the 2nd floor. Kyuhyun didn’t care about his tired legs anymore.

When they found the emergency door, Kyuhyun opened it and let Sungmin to enter first. He then followed suit a moment later, but suddenly frozen on his spot. Kyuhyun felt frightened at seeing the high stairs and the dark space. He felt his breath hitched and it was suddenly getting harder for him to breath. Feeling his head started to pound hardly, Kyuhyun closed his eyes and called Sungmin’s name right away as he shifted his body to lean against the metallic rail, his hand was holding on it very tightly.

_Did I just remember something about this kind of place?_

When Kyuhyun’s body almost lost all of its strength, Sungmin was already on his side to prop up his weak body.

_Donghae? I want to see Donghae, now!_

And he lost consciousness after that.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg, this update is too short for my likes. T_T

 

 

* * *

 

 

9 PM.

And Donghae was wondering why Kyuhyun took so much time to reach this place.

It would be impossible if his friend got lost somewhere, because Donghae already texted him the address already.

So where is he now?

Donghae checked his phone once again to see no reply from his friend. He sighed out his anxiety slowly and left the reserved table to stand and lean his body against the glass wall, silently watching at the scenery outside and hoping that his friend would appear sooner.

“Why it doesn’t turn out like it should?” Donghae mumbled as he closed his eyes to calm his heart. This bad feeling wouldn’t go away somehow, but he just shrugged it off.

Just then, his phone rang loudly and it gave Donghae who was currently zoning out a great shock. When he realized that he got a call, he quickly rushed to his table to get his device and answered it right away.

_“Hello. Good evening, Donghae san?”_

He was greeted by an unfamiliar voice with a thick Osaka accent in a very polite way and suddenly felt his heart dropped down to his stomach when the person introduced himself as a Doctor. Donghae too almost lost the grip on his phone when he was told that Kyuhyun was currently lying unconscious in Osaka Central Hospital.

The male took a deep breath as he tried not to panic.

Donghae then released a relieved sigh when the Doctor assured him that his friend was okay. But he had to go to the hospital quickly to get some things done.

When the call was finished, his arms fell limply to his side right away. With mixed up feelings, Donghae simply stood there for a moment while staring blankly at the abandoned birthday cake and ornaments in front of him before he left the place to the hospital.

Donghae sighed in relief knowing that the road wasn’t that busy. He quickly sped up his car so he could reach the hospital faster. Even though the doctor had told him that his friend was okay, he couldn’t help to feel the anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

So many questions were running inside the male’s mind right now regarding Kyuhyun.

One hour later Donghae reached the hospital. He quickly parked his car and ran inside the building to meet the receptionist. He then asked for Kyuhyun’s room and quickly left right after he got the information he needed.

It didn’t take too long for Donghae to find Kyuhyun’s designated room fortunately. He carefully opened the door in case Kyuhyun was sleeping or what. But he got surprised to see a doctor was currently inside. Donghae instantly greeted him with a perfect bow and the other copied him.

_“Donghae san?”_ The doctor asked with a smile. _“I’m Doctor Tanaka.”_

_“Ah, yes. I’m Donghae. Nice to meet you, Tanaka Sensei.”_ Donghae introduced himself. _“So, may I know what happened to, Kyuhyun? Why is he here?”_ He finally asked his curiosity.

_“He fainted when he was about to take the emergency stair.”_ Donghae stilled after hearing that. _“A young male who brought him here told me that. I didn’t have a chance to ask his name before because the male was nowhere to be seen after that.”_

_“Excuse me, you said emergency stair?”_ Donghae wanted to confirm it again. When the doctor nodded his head again, he could feel the cold sweats slowly forming on the palm of his hands. _“Actually... my friend has temporary amnesia.”_

“Wake up…”

I heard a voice that was sounded like mine whispering to me.

_What the fuck? Where am I again?_

My eyes slowly fluttered open and I realized that I was currently lying on a bed. I looked around and to see the room was so unfamiliar to me.

_Oh… right, where is Sungmin?_

I frantically searched for his figure but I couldn’t see him. This very spacious room was too dark somewhat, I just noticed that, and it was too cold for my likes. The panicked emotions started clawing at my inner self.

Just then, I heard my own voice whisper at me again.

“I’m keeping you here for a moment. We need to talk.”

In a blink of an eye, I saw my own figure right in front of my eyes, staring at me with such expression on his face. I gulped. I was in a daze for a moment because this current situation was scaring me somehow.

“What?” I managed to croak a question.

“Firstly, happy birthday… to… me?” My reflection said with a laugh and I just tilted my head to the side, frowning. “I thought you remember it already. Today is our birthday, oh… not anymore.”

“What the hell?” I paused for a moment at the realization and pouted. “I can’t believe that I just cursed at myself.”

“20 seconds ago was 3 February. Our birthday.”

I gasped. “How could you know— I meant, how can you remember while I can’t?” I hardened my face, suddenly feeling dejected at the unfairness between me and my subconscious mind.

_This is silly._

My reflection smiled sadly at me. My stomach flipped.

“You should not let yourself gone to such place, dear. You’ve buried them, our sad memories.” I gasped again, quite louder this time. He talked nonsense to me, but I know he wasn’t telling me lies either. When my reflection hugged me, I suddenly cried. My heart was pounding really heard. “I can’t let you summon it back.”

“W-why?” I choked. This was getting unbearable. “What h-happened?”

“Don’t cry. It’s not your fault—”

“But it’s scaring me!” I didn’t let him finish and pushed him away. “What actually happened in that place? Please, tell me.” I quivered.

“I won’t tell you even if I know the answer.” My reflection told me, his voice was grimly determined. “You only need Donghae in your life now, right?” I shook my head frantically. It frightened me more. Why he suddenly mentioned Donghae? “You want him. You want him as yours only, right?”

“Shut the fuck up! You know nothing!” I screamed as I climbed down the bed. I felt enough already. “Don’t talk to me anymore. I want to leave this place. You are just a nightmare, I know it.”

I walked at the direction of the door. I expected my reflection to block me but he didn’t even move an inch. And second later I knew that the door was locked. I was trembling with anger. I cursed loudly as I kicked the door. But it was no avail.

“Stop denying. Can you even forgive yourself later?” My reflection asked and I stood frozen right away. “You locked the door for us, because you don’t want to remember it anymore.”

“It?”

He nodded his head. “The memories.”

“Can you—” I couldn’t finish what I was going to say when I saw the monochromatic video of me and Donghae was projected before my eyes.

“You love him so much, do you?”

I suddenly felt unsteady, weak, like my legs weren’t fully the part of me. I crumbled down there, crying again. I remembered the memories of me and Donghae all at once. I should be happy right now, but I couldn’t. I was not even smiling.

Because something important was missing there.

It wasn’t just about me and Donghae.

There must be someone else.

I looked back again and stared at the locked door behind me.

“What should I do to open that door?” I asked even though I expected the refusal from my reflection.

“No.” My reflection said firmly.

“If I was the one who created everything that means I can destroy everything too.” I threatened. My tone was cold.

“I don’t want to keep you here any longer. It’s time for you to wake up.”

Before I could even protest, a bright and blinding light suddenly glowed from his body. I closed my eyes and begged at him to stop, but he didn’t listen.

And a deafening silence suddenly fell over me.

I fell unconscious in my subconscious mind.

I was all alone once again.

_This emptiness is somewhat familiar._

 

Effortlessly, I fluttered my eyes open and the first thing that I saw was his smiling face. I felt a gush of warmth spread through me as I heard Donghae’s raspy voice call my name. And I almost pinched my skin just to prove myself that it wasn’t a dream but his touch on my cheek beat me.

“Shit! Sorry.” The words slipped off my mouth as I recalled the things before I lost my consciousness. “I had ruined your plan.”

“Silly.” Donghae said as he flicked the tip of my nose. “I’m not a good planner I think.” He chuckled.

“Stop blaming yourself. It doesn’t make me feel any less guilty.” I paused for awhile, before breaking the news to him. “You prepared a birthday party for me right?”

And Donghae stopped stroking my cheek and sighed.

“I thought you didn’t remember that?”

“You were going to lie that your plan was not that important then, right? Well, too bad I remembered it just now. I’m sorry—”

I just had to stop talking when Donghae pressed his lips on my cheek.

I felt my cheeks burn because his affection, which was bad.

“You talk too much.” Donghae stated, beaming. “Happy Birthday, Hyun. Well, not really late I think.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you feeling better now? Let’s go home.” I nodded my head eagerly because Donghae’s place is better than here. “And we need to talk.”

“Donghae, can we do that later? I just want to rest now.” I didn’t realize that I was glaring at him and I sounded upset. “I’m tired.”

“Of course.”

 

 

_“Temporary Amnesia…”_

_He said to his cousin before drinking down the expensive wine. He cringed at the taste, but continued drinking until the cup was empty. He was feeling so bitter right now after knowing the news._

_“Who?” His cousin managed to ask. He expected a name though, but silently prayed that it wasn’t him. Just then the older male looked at him, smirking. “Wow.”_

_“The game is too easy somehow.” He laughed darkly._

_“What are you going to do?”_

_“Break him, again.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see you at SS6 INA!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, it's been a long time.

_ _

 

_This week had been a hell for him. He was so stressed out, confused at what gift he should be giving for his best friend’s birthday tomorrow. He thought that he had given everything that the man liked already on his previous birthdays. If only Justin Timberlake had released a new album, things would have been easier for Kyuhyun since his friend was a huge fan of him._

_Strolling around the luxurious mall once again, he stopped his heels in front of a store. Something had caught his interest, his lips quirked up into a small smile as he picked the warm thing up. It didn’t cost a lot, but he thought Donghae would like it._

_It had a very special and deep meaning, after all._

_Wrapping the gift by himself, Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to be proud at himself. The light blue ribbon that he used was so beautiful. He couldn’t help but to let out a satisfied chuckle._

_That night, the taxi that he was riding, unfortunately broke down. Kyuhyun tried to help the driver but it was no avail. The driver politely asked Kyuhyun to just get another taxi and thanked him for giving a help. Kyuhyun bowed his head and left. He then walked through the pedestrian road and waited for any kind of public transportations that could give him a ride. But he saw nothing. Kyuhyun cursed when he realized that he was already late to the party. He also regretted for not coming earlier._

_After waiting for thirty minutes long, a bus stopped right in front of him. Even though the last bus stop was too far from the actual bar where Donghae’s birthday party was held at, Kyuhyun had no choice at this moment._

_Twenty minutes later, he arrived. Looking at his watch, Kyuhyun had been late for an hour long by now. He cursed again and quickly ran to save his time. Just then, he got a phone call from Jungsoo hyung. Kyuhyun picked it up and tried to talk without sounding so breathless._

_“Hyung. What’s up?” Jungsoo ranted about Donghae was in foul mood from the other line. He thought confidently that it was caused by him. He felt guilty and was going to apologize, but the hyung suddenly continued his long rant. “What?” Kyuhyun was surprised, but he wasn’t going to show it. “Okay then. I’m almost there. Ask him to wait.”_

_“Alright then. He only needs you right now. We will leave you two alone once you arrived.” Jungsoo said before he hung up._

_Staring at the present box on his hand, Kyuhyun suddenly had an urge to throw it away. He just realized that he wasn’t running anymore. His pace had slowed down. He was trying hard not to stop his heels from walking, even though it was getting heavier for Kyuhyun to step forwards._

_He just wanted to turn around, go home and cry._

“Donghae, let’s have a drink tonight.” Kyuhyun’s sudden words surprised him who was currently focused into driving.

“Well, we almost arrived at home.” He said as he looked at Kyuhyun for a brief second before paying a full attention to the road in front of him again.

“No. I saw a bar before the left turn. Let’s just go there.”

“Kyuhyun—” Donghae got intervened.

“You said you want to talk. Then you won’t have it unless you take me there. Think of it as my birthday wish.” The younger male stated boldly.

Without saying anything, Donghae made a U-turn in the middle of empty road and drove the car to the bar that Kyuhyun had mentioned before.

“Don’t drink too much.” He warned when he saw Kyuhyun had gestured the bartender to get three bottles of wine for him, only.

“Three bottles won’t get me drunk.”

“What kind of friend who treats his best friend wines after getting discharged from a hospital? I’m feeling horrible right now.” Donghae said sarcastically as he sipped his cold water.

“I’m not sick or anything, you know.” Kyuhyun argued again.

“Sure sure.”

“You _sure_ don’t want to drink anything? No fun.”

“I am driving, remember?”

“You can hire a substitute driver, dumb.”

Donghae only shook his head. Actually he didn’t want to get drunk so he could absorb, just in case Kyuhyun told him anything about his memories, or everything that he was going to spill later (especially when the younger male was drunk).

Two bottles were done by Kyuhyun and surprisingly, he was already drunk and nothing came out from his mouth yet. Donghae gestured the bartender to take the last wine away from the male’s grasp, ready to leave the bar. But suddenly Kyuhyun groaned.

“I’m not drunk yet, Donghae~” Kyuhyun slurred as he tried to lift his head, but failed, so his forehead hit the bar table instead. Donghae cursed seeing the sight of his friend.

“Let’s go home. We can talk later, when you are sober.”

“Donghae.” His friend suddenly called his name with such tone that made Donghae had to stay still on his seat. “Did you remember the day when we had our last drink together? It was on your 23rd birthday. We also argued.” Kyuhyun laughed darkly.

Donghae was astounded for a second. “A-Ah… so, y-you remember that?” He said incoherently. Kyuhyun nodded his head before turning his face towards his direction. He tried to unclose his heavy eyelids, staring at Donghae’s eyes for awhile before closing them again. “Well, that day was very unpleasant for me. Did you remember it was my first heartbreak?” Donghae laughed awkwardly.

Kyuhyun laughed too, before dropping the bomb. “Yeah, it was very unpleasant for me too. It was, my first heartbreak too.”

Donghae fell into silent for a moment.

“K-Kyuhyun? I-I don’t get it. Wasn’t that day—Well, it was… was… your—”

“Jungsoo hyung called me that day and yeah…” Kyuhyun paused for a brief second. “He told me why that.”

Donghae discovered that Kyuhyun also remembered Leeteuk, whom he preferred to call with Jungsoo hyung more.

“That—What? What was Jungsoo hyung telling you actually!?” He didn’t get any answer from Kyuhyun and it angered Donghae a little. This friend of him now was confusing him a lot. There was a missing beat here and he wasn’t sure if Kyuhyun actually remembered it or not. “Kyuhyun? Answer me!”

“Let’s go home, I’m tired.”

_Shit. I don’t really get it._

“We indeed should just go home and talk properly there. Damn it.”

With a drunk Kyuhyun on his arm, Donghae managed to drag their bodies to where his car was parked. Holding his friend’s body with one arm, he used his free hand to unlock and open the passenger’s seat for Kyuhyun. He covered the younger male’s head as he made him sitting on it. After settling the safety belt, Donghae was going to close the door but seeing Kyuhyun opened his eyes, he crouched down to check on his friend’s state first.

“Donghae?” Kyuhyun called out hoarsely.

“Hmm?” He replied while fixing the fringe that covered his friend’s forehead.

“Come closer a little.” Donghae frowned but he complied. “More closer, please.” Donghae also complied.

“Why?”

Without a word, Kyuhyun already grabbed the older male’s shoulders, tilted his head and lessened the small gap between their faces to kiss those cold lips. It was merely a lips-to-lips kiss, but Kyuhyun stayed like that quite longer. He was waiting. Waiting for Donghae. But the older male was too shocked to react. He got his system functioned a little bit too late because Kyuhyun’s lips already left his ones. But his hands stayed on Donghae’s blue scarf for a moment.

“You can get angry to me. But I will forget it in the next morning. I’m sure you too, right?”

“Stop saying nonsense. You are drunk.”

That was what Donghae managed to say before he closed the door for Kyuhyun. Because he didn’t want the younger male seeing him smile like an idiot. He still couldn’t believe that it would be felt so good to be kissed by his best friend. It was their first kiss with each other, of course. Was he going to forget it?

_Of course, the answer is no!_

Kyuhyun’s lips were surprisingly soft. Shit, it felt so amazing and addicting. If only he could react more quickly before. Their kiss would have been more than just an innocent kiss. Donghae felt the need to slap his head for being an idiot. 

The sudden sound of loud taps from the window car had woken Donghae up from his trance. He then realized that he was standing outside and making Kyuhyun wait for too long already. So he went inside the car and left the place right away.

_I’m unnecessarily feeling jealous towards you right now, my late friend._

 

The atmosphere between the two males inside the car was expectedly awkward. Donghae was still itching to hear Kyuhyun answer his question before but he didn’t know how to ask the younger male. Well, it was also his way to distract himself from Kyuhyun’s kiss actually, because damn, if God let him to kiss his friend right now, he would.

Donghae was smitten.

“Kyuhyun.” He finally called; eyes were focused on the road. He tried to start the conversation but he didn’t hear any answer from his friend. So he called once again and still got no response. Donghae glanced towards Kyuhyun and found out that his friend already falling asleep.

Meanwhile Kyuhyun was trying his best to get some sleep but his mind kept repeating that one-sided kissing scene. So he just stared blankly at the things outside the window, since he was feeling sad—downright sad. He wondered how many times he was going to let Donghae to break his heart. But thanks to that, he finally got the answer that he needed.

When Donghae called his name before, he pretended to be asleep. He wasn’t sober enough to talk; he wasn’t in the mood as well; and he was totally mad towards the older male. So he ignored Donghae.

Suddenly the car stopped and Kyuhyun heard a click sound. It looked like Donghae had unsettled his seatbelt. Just then, he also heard a ruckus beside him. He really wanted to know what was happening, but suddenly he felt something, like a coat, covered his body and also a pair of hand brushing his shoulders. Kyuhyun felt warm inside his heart at the gesture. When the car had moved again, he silently pulled the coat over his nose so he could smell Donghae’s scent on it. He fell asleep at last.

 

The time when they arrived home, Donghae had no heart to wake up the sleeping Kyuhyun. There was no choice for him then. Carefully he removed the coat around Kyuhyun’s body so he could unsettle the seatbelt. Once it was done, Donghae put the coat around his back before fixed his body so he could circle his friend’s hands around his neck. Counting to three, he slowly lifted Kyuhyun’s body, piggybacking him. As he moved, the sleeping friend stirred up a little, but he didn’t wake up. Kyuhyun just tightened his hold around Donghae and unintentionally brushing their cheeks together.

Donghae’s pale cheeks obviously changed its color into red.

After putting the sleeping Kyuhyun on his bed, Donghae covered him with the blanket to keep him warm. He let out a tired a sigh as he stretched his tired body. While staring at the sleeping male below him, his mind wandered back to their short conversation back in the bar? Donghae still wanted to know the reason of Kyuhyun’s first heartbreak because his friend never once told him before. What did Jungsoo say to him? And that missing beat, story, memory, whatever Kyuhyun wanted to call it, which happened after his birthday party, why his friend didn’t mention it?

_Did you remember that he also confessed his love to you? I saw it with my own eyes._

Feeling sleepy, Donghae decided to put his questions to rest for tonight. Before leaving Kyuhyun’s bedroom he went to turn on the table lamps beside the bed. And that exact moment he found out a familiar silver key. Well, of course, it was the cupboard key where he usually put the futon before. Donghae chuckled while thinking that Kyuhyun had kept it way from him just so he could sleep in his room forever.

_Well, why is he so cute? Umh, wait._

“Oh, what’s my old journal book doing here? I thought I lost it.” Donghae said to himself once he saw the said thing was placed beneath the table lamp. He took it with him and after saying a ‘good night’ to Kyuhyun he exited himself.

Once he was inside his own bedroom, Donghae took his phone and quickly dialed Jungsoo’s number. While waiting for his call to be picked up, he put the blue scarf off his neck and stared on it for awhile.

_I’ve fulfilled my promise to you, Kyuhyun. But maybe you don’t remember its meaning anymore?_

The call was failed at last because it couldn’t be reached at the moment. Another defeated sigh came out from his lips. Bored, Donghae then carelessly opened his old journal book and suddenly stopped at a certain page where he found a writing which was not his on it. His breath hitched when he found out there was a list.

 

_“What happened to you?” Kyuhyun asked as he sat himself beside Donghae’s seat on the bar table._

_“Thanks for coming... so late.” The birthday boy said sarcastically. “I don’t need you.”_

_“Really?” Kyuhyun was ready to leave the place, because he really wanted to be here right now with Donghae, because he would listen to his friend’s rants which he rather not to know. “I’ll see you—”_

_Donghae’s hand was quick to stop him by gripping his left arm tightly._

_“Shit, Kyuhyun! I didn’t mean it.”_

_“You are so annoying!”_

_“Sorry. I was really mad that you coming late, okay! This is the worst birthday party ever!” Donghae looked at him with those sad eyes. “I invited this junior of mine to the party but he didn’t come. Fuck it.”_

_“Okay… So who is this junior?” Kyuhyun swore to God that he was a fucking idiot for asking such question that he knew the answer already from Jungsoo. He didn’t need to hear this from Donghae’s own mouth, right? So why he—_

_“He is Henry Lau. I have a crush on him for 3 years already and was ready to confess to him if he came tonight.” Donghae explained before coughing down another beer. “I was so sure myself that he also loves me.”_

_“Well…” Kyuhyun sat again on his previous seat and asked the bartender to bring three bottles of wine. “That’s life.” He said to his friend but it was like a friendly reminder for himself actually._

_“At least you are here now.”_

_“Hmm… Do you still want a present from me?” Kyuhyun shoved the present box to Donghae and then asked him to open it, although it had lost its meaning already._

_“A blue scarf? Why did you suddenly give me this? But hey, I like it. Thank you.” Donghae casually said. Kyuhyun watched as his friend wrapped it around his neck. He helped a little._

_“It’s just a gift. But, will you wear it on my birthday later?” Kyuhyun asked, hoping for a positive answer. “Umh, since it was winter and you know I just—”_

_“I will. Don’t worry. But, this scarf is so random, still.”_

_“You think too much. You should be happy with a cheap present sometime.”_

_“I’m not disappointed because of that. Why are you thinking like that.”_

_Kyuhyun could only smile._

Kyuhyun cried in his sleep as he recalled that sad memory.

‘I will love you forever’

He would never tell the true meaning of that gift, ever.

It was impossible for Kyuhyun to say it openly to Donghae. So, through the scarf he tried to convey his feeling towards the older male. It saddened him more that Donghae almost never wore it on his birthdays back then. Said that he forgot to wear it, he accidentally left it home, and so on.

Then today he realized that the older male was wearing the scarf for his birthday. He was so happy that he couldn’t help but to kiss the older male.

But, surely it had no meaning for Donghae.

He might wear it for his own purpose.

Also for Kyuhyun.

Because he had tired of waiting.

 

_Memories from today will be left forgotten by tomorrow morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more sad chapters to come... i guess?


	16. Chapter 16

 

 

The next morning, Kyuhyun had to wake up with a headache. The pain was bearable, but there was a thing that annoyed him a lot. And shit! He felt like to throw up right now, so he climbed off the bed and ran to the bathroom quickly.

In the middle of his business, he suddenly felt a warm hand massaging the back of his neck and then moved downwards just to rub his back. It was a great help. Kyuhyun liked it, but didn’t want the older male to know. So, he pushed the latter’s hand away and told him that he was okay.

“I made you some hangover soup,” Donghae said softly. Kyuhyun grunted while beckoning him to leave. “You are always this hostile when you are intoxicated.”

“You—!” He didn’t manage to finish his words because he had the urge to throw up again.

“No offense, but it feels so surreal to me now that you are _back_.” Kyuhyun pretended not to hear and Donghae added a second later, “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” He ruffled Kyuhyun’s hair before leaving the sick male alone in the bathroom.

_Why can’t I forget the kiss? It annoys me to death!_

Feeling slightly better, Kyuhyun cleared the bad taste in his mouth with a mouthwash that he stole from Donghae’s bathroom a few days ago. He didn’t really fancy the dental product, but he knew it was very useful at this kind of time.

_It’s mint, of course._

When Kyuhyun finally stepped out of the bathroom, he let out a surprised yelp at seeing Donghae invading his room again. Hearing the latter chuckle, Kyuhyun grumpily walked towards his bed while wiping his mouth with the back of his palm.

“Why are you so shocked?” Donghae asked as he placed the bowl on the study desk.

“I thought you want me to see you in the _kitchen_.” Kyuhyun emphasized.

“You took forever and I am worried.” The older male argued back. Kyuhyun quickly thanked the male, feeling guilty for acting so cold towards him in the morning. “You are welcome. Are you feeling better already? I still want you to eat the soup though.”

“I am. I will.” He replied shortly.

“I know I’ll keep ruining your mood if I stay any longer. But, I have something to say.” Donghae paused and Kyuhyun suddenly became tense, his mind was panicking. “I’ll be waiting in the living room.”

“Thanks. I just need time for myself right now.”

“Okay.” His friend smiled and left his room.

Kyuhyun released a relieved sigh when he returned to the solitude inside his room. He couldn’t help but to wonder what Donghae was going to say later. What if his friend suddenly talked about the kiss? No! He wouldn’t be able to answer that! He had a lot of reasons in mind and didn't have any plans on telling why.

Much to his disappointment, Donghae appeared to be fine around him. It made Kyuhyun think that he was the only one who felt bothered by it.

What he was hoping actually? _Oh sure he knew_ , but decided to ignore it. Though he should be thankful that Donghae was being this nice and not avoiding him after what happened, it still pissed him a lot nonetheless.

When it reached his pressure point, Kyuhyun finally had to admit it.

_I fucking kissed him, why it didn’t affect him even the slightest!?_

That’s why he was feeling so annoyed by the situation. Even though he got himself a clear answer to his confusion already, Kyuhyun realized that he didn’t like it. He once thought Donghae was too transparent, just like in the past. But he was wrong.

Everything was too late.

No more what ifs.

But Kyuhyun actually was just too blinded by his current point of view towards Donghae. He didn’t realize it. He failed to see the older male’s sincerity towards him.

Kyuhyun had closed his heart completely.

“Shit. I forget the damn soup.”

In the middle of savoring the tasty dish, his phone beeped, signaling that he got a new message. It was from Sungmin, as expected. He hastily read the preview of the message and furrowed his brows right away.

_[Sungmin 10.00 AM] OK. I’ll see you on Sunday. At Wook’s place._

“Wait. What—Oh my God.”

Kyuhyun exclaimed as soon as he checked the message that he had sent previously. It must be done when he was completely drunk that night. Why he could forget about this, really?

_[Kyuhyun 10.10 AM] I was drunk last night, Sungmin. But— I think I am okay with that._

As he waited Sungmin to reply his message, Kyuhyun ate everything on his bowl. Right before he took his pills, his phone beeped again.

_[Sungmin 10.30 AM] Good. I am going to reschedule my work then. Sorry, I’m too busy to chat now. My employees messed things up._

_[Kyuhyun 10.33 AM] OK. Good luck!_

With the empty bowl in his hands, Kyuhyun finally stepped out of his room. In the living room, he saw Donghae who was in the middle of calling someone. Silently he walked to the kitchen, but the older male noticed his presence anyway.

“Your soup is delicious.” Kyuhyun said awkwardly. He wanted to cry at how lame it sounded. But he was telling the truth though. “I didn’t lie!” He confirmed for Donghae who was smiling from ear to ear just to tease him.

 “I know. I tasted it myself and it’s indeed delicious!”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes while suppressing a smile to form on his lips. “Just continue with your phone call. I will join you later.”

Donghae raised his thumb and off Kyuhyun go to the kitchen.

After done washing the dirty utensils plus making two cups of hot chocolate, Kyuhyun joined Donghae in the living room a moment later. The older male was so delighted when he handed the drink to him. They finally smiled towards each other warmly for the first time today in the daylight.

“So, who did you call before?” Kyuhyun asked first, curious.

“Oh, Leeteuk—Well, it’s Jungsoo hyung for you.” His skin twitched when he heard the name. But he tried to be calm. “I need him to do a full check on your health again.” Donghae added and Kyuhyun simply bought it.

“I’m totally fine, Donghae. Stop being a worry wart.” He argued before sipping his hot chocolate. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

_It’s about the kiss, right? Okay, fire it, Donghae._

He was so confident that Donghae would ask him about it. But that wasn’t a problem anymore because Kyuhyun already realized that he had a perfect reason to forget that embarrassing thing.

He was freaking drunk and—

“I wonder if you want to go to Disneyland—”

“I can’t remember a thing, Hae—” Kyuhyun stopped abruptly.

And there was a long pause.

Silence filled the air.

Kyuhyun racked his brain and then realized something.

_Did Donghae say kissland or—Wait, Disneyland!? Oh, Good Lord!_

Well, that was kind of awkward, obviously. Kyuhyun bit the tip of his tongue while blinking his eyes repetitively. It was impossible if his cheeks weren’t red already by this moment.

“Well, I just invited you today, for your information.” Donghae scratched his head. His expression was indeed very confused. “It’s okay if you don’t—”

“ No no no no no!” Kyuhyun took his time to breathe some air before he continued, “I want to go.”

“Oh, Kyuhyun! Really!?” When Kyuhyun nodded his head, Donghae threw his arms into the air. “Let’s go this Sunday.”

_He still loves Disney and that good thing at least doesn’t change. Wait, what!?_

“As in… this S-Sunday?”

Donghae said ‘yes’ and Kyuhyun lost it.

_Why did I bring myself into this mess?_

 

So, Kyuhyun had asked Donghae to change the day, but failed. The tickets were applicable for the special firework festival which is only held in Sunday as the older male had mentioned to him before. Kyuhyun’s last choice was to give up his plan with Sungmin, and now he was trying to call the older male to reschedule. Of course it had to be done after he was alone inside his own bedroom. Donghae was out to buy groceries anyway.

“Hello, Sungmin? I know you are busy, but I have to cancel our appointment this Sunday. I have a sudden plan with Donghae.” Kyuhyun said everything in one breath. “I am very sorry.”

 _“Hell no. Listen! I just rescheduled my work for you, so if you think that I can just reschedule everything for your own sake. Well, you are bloody wrong!”_ Sungmin yelled at him.

_Why is he getting mad at me!?_

“No need to yell, okay? I think I will ring you again—”

_“Shit. Sorry! I didn’t mean to be mad at you. Sorry!” Sungmin stressed. “The work has worn me out. But, I really don’t have a lot of time. I only have Sunday for you.”_

“Well then. I think I can make this works.”

_“Are you sure about this?”_

Kyuhyun hummed a positive tone. “Don’t worry. Please take care of yourself, Sungmin. And you shall take a rest.”

_“I will. Thank you for your concern.”_

_*_

 

_“What a good guy.” The man in suit commented sarcastically._

_“I don’t need your opinion about him. Just do your fucking works, idiot!” He screamed while busying himself with his phone. “If you just killed the security, we won’t be in trouble like this!”_

_“You know that I don’t kill people. My people did.”_

_The taller man said very casually. Why this man had the guts to be all cunning towards him right now? He was the boss and it irked him even more._

_“Sure sure. And they were fucking killed in the end!” He smashed his phone into the ground and kicked it hard. “You know the consequent if you ruined my GREAT PLAN, right?”_

_“H-hey, pal. W-We can s-sort this o-out y—”_

_“Choi Siwon, shall I kill you with my own hand, now?” He smirked as he walked closer._

_“You fucking psychopath! Y-You were the one who killed—N-No!” He swiftly took out his gun and pointed it right on Choi’s forehead._

_“Your last words?”_

_“Mr. Lee, please—”_

_And he blew Choi Siwon’s damn brain out._

_“You are right. I’m a fucking psychopath.”_

 

*

 

Sunday morning, Donghae was already busy preparing the foods for them. He liked the idea of eating some Bentos later. Kyuhyun didn’t say anything and just let him doing whatever he wanted. Donghae had planned everything for them already anyway. His friend insisted that his trip to Disneyland was a pay up for the cancelled birthday party of his.

Meanwhile, Kyuhyun was also busy packing his own things. He also brought the stuffs he needed. After searching at every nook and crook of Donghae’s house, he finally got everything he had to bring with him.

It would be a very long trip after all.

Suddenly, he became so indignant over his own decision.

When Kyuhyun was out from his bedroom, like he had expected, Donghae was giving him a quizzical look. He fidgeted but tried being reasonable about it.

“You seem busy preparing the foods _only_. So I prepared other things, just in case.” Kyuhyun managed to answer.

“But you don’t have to bring so many things. Look at that big backpack, Kyu—” Donghae’s hand got stopped by Kyuhyun when he tried to take the carrier away from him. “We are not camping there, for your information.” He jested.

“Not funny.” Kyuhyun deadpanned. “I swear, Donghae. You never know.” He smiled.

“Whatever.”

 

During their time in the car, Kyuhyun had his mind preoccupied with their outing later. What would they do once they reached the place? He wasn’t in the mood to see a bunch of men in Disney character costumes, not even the fireworks. He still feared the loud sound. He wondered if Donghae had realized this by now.

Fidgeting on his seat, Kyuhyun had already texted Sungmin everything. Hopefully the male had time to look at it, because he didn’t want to ruin Donghae’s plan for the second time.

Last night, Kyuhyun accidentally heard Donghae’s secret phone call with someone, must be a restaurant manager. He couldn’t believe that he had reserved a whole place just for them two. He couldn’t hear everything because Donghae had closed the door of his room, so his information was very limited.

Right then, a sudden touch on his shoulder jolted Kyuhyun awake from his trance. He sighed in relief that it was just Donghae asking for his help to get him some snacks. They had spent three hours in the road (it took approximately 5 hours from Osaka to Disneyland), and he actually felt thirsty instead of hungry. So he took the mineral water that was fetched on his side and drank a lot.

“You usually drink this a lot when you are nervous, Kyuhyun.” Donghae proclaimed.

“And when I am so thirsty, of course.”

His friend laughed. “Can you get me some bread, please?”

“Oh, sorry. I almost forgot.” Then Kyuhyun stretched his arm to get them on the back seat. “Chocolate?” He asked, because Donghae brought five kind of flavor with them. “Cheese? I remember you love blueberry the most.”

“Then why did you ask me?” Donghae chuckled softly. Kyuhyun looked at the older male and he just realized how adorable Donghae when he looked happy. “You are staring at me; I saw it on the rearview mirror.”

Kyuhyun hastily looked away.

“I thought… you’ve changed.” He said, ignoring Donghae’s previous comment, but that question was too deep apparently. Just then he tried to distract Donghae by making a rustling noise over the bread’s plastic wrapper.

“No, haven’t changed at all. Well, just slightly, for the best.” His friend said, fully comprehending the implication. “Give it to me if you are done with the plastic wrapper.”

“I was going to feed you.” Kyuhyun protested. He even showed Donghae the small piece of bread he just split for him.

“Well then, I like your idea more. Thank you.”

Not long after that, Kyuhyun fell asleep. He wanted to stay awake to accompany Donghae, but he couldn’t fight the need to rest his eyes. The older male didn’t mind at all though.

But it just added Kyuhyun’s guilt even more towards the male.

 

Seeing Kyuhyun who was still sleeping, Donghae used his time to check on the paper that he had ripped from his journal book. It was the list of what Kyuhyun wanted to do with Donghae in the park (must be for their previous plan). But it became Donghae’s list now. And everything about it was just the things that were usually done by a couple during their date.

Now, he was getting too excited.

With a grunt, the sleeping male was finally awake. “We arrived already?” Kyuhyun asked while rubbing his sleepy eyes. Donghae quickly shoved the paper into his coat.

“Yes, ten minutes ago.”

“You should just wake me up then!”

Donghae just smiled while patting the grumpy Kyuhyun’s on his head. “I will get our things ready.”

“Okay.”

 

So he checked the back seat to organize his camera and other things to be brought. Once Donghae was done, he went to look for Kyuhyun and was surprised to see the taller male was insisted to take that seemingly so heavy backpack with him.

“You should just leave it in the car Kyuhyun. It looks so heavy.” Donghae advised.

“No, it doesn’t.” Kyuhyun clearly refused to be separated with that backpack.

“You are acting so weird.” Donghae said while giving the latter a skeptic look.

“You are being so nosy, right now. Why I can’t bring anything that I want?” He was clearly mad by now and Donghae felt the need to stop the argument. “You are not even my mom, Donghae.”

“I can act like one if I want. Let’s go, Kyuhyun!”

Donghae took his hand gently, intertwining their fingers, as they went to explore the very famous theme park in the universe. He was grateful that Kyuhyun didn’t complain at all. And when Donghae asked if he liked it, Kyuhyun just squeezed his hand lightly as the answer.

He took it as a yes.

_Point number 1: Walking hand in hand. Check!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh huh... not siwon. if any of you ever wonder that it would be him. hehe


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

“So… any ride that you want to try first?” Donghae asked while looking around.

“Let’s try the train, Hae!” Kyuhyun shouted excitedly as he pulled the older male towards Western River Railroad’s queue. “This one has shortest queue at the moment, I observed.”

“A good choice though, for a first-timer.”

Donghae got elbowed by Kyuhyun on the ribs and he barked a laugh seeing his friend sulking.

After fifteen minutes of waiting, they finally got their turn to enter the train. Donghae let Kyuhyun to sit first and he followed suit, sitting by his side. While waiting for the train to be filled by other passengers, Donghae took his time to prepare his camera.

“Don’t focus on that too much.” Kyuhyun suddenly complained.

“Are you jealous?”

“No?” It came out as a quick denial. He hastily looked away.

Donghae knocked Kyuhyun’s side by his shoulder lightly to get his full attention. But it was not working, so he linked their arms together and casually laid his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder. Surprisingly, Kyuhyun also leaned his head on Donghae’s a moment later. He silently peered over the younger male with a proud grin on his face.

Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t enjoy that intimate moment with the younger male for too long. When the train was starting to move, Kyuhyun had unlinked his arm from Donghae and brought himself closer to the open window. He was all excited, so he went to look over the sceneries, gawking when those beautiful sceneries were presented before his eyes. Donghae’s mood was instantly lifted up seeing the overjoyed Kyuhyun, because for the first time in forever Donghae had someone with him to spend the day in Disneyland. And gladly, it’s no other than Kyuhyun.

The love of his life.

On autopilot, Donghae was already holding his camera in front of him and silently snapped a picture of a smiling Kyuhyun who had his right arm stretched over the open train’s window, hair blown by the wind.

“Beautiful.” Donghae accidentally said it out loud. But Kyuhyun seemed too distracted to catch what he had said before.

Checking the result, Donghae was very satisfied with it. He was late to realize that he was staring at the camera screen for a good minute already.

“Well, what I said about your camera before, Hae?” Here came another complaint from his company.

Donghae shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh. Let’s take a picture together, I insist!” Donghae quickly added when Kyuhyun was seemingly ready to reject the idea.

The later let out a sigh, but agreed at last.

Very casually, Donghae already circled his arm around Kyuhyun’s waist and his face was dangerously close with him. He then asked the younger male to make a V-sign. Seeing Kyuhyun did what he was told to, Donghae then counted to three and pressed the shutter button as he flashed a toothy grin with his eyes closed.

When the first take was done, Donghae was enthralled.

“If it comes out good, I want to keep it for myself.” Kyuhyun claimed as he waited for the black frame changed into a complete photograph.

“Then I want to take another photo—Oh! You look so cute here, Kyuhyun!” Donghae just really had to squeal so loudly and made the passengers in front of them to look at their direction just now. Kyuhyun could only give them an awkward smile as an apology.

“You are embarrassing me, hyung!” Kyuhyun said while gritting his teeth.

“Look at this.” Donghae shoved the photograph for Kyuhyun to see. “Can I keep it?”

“Sure sure.” Kyuhyun lazily said.

“Oh. No no no, I am going to keep the second one instead.”

“But, why? You said I look cute here, why are you so inconsistent?” He said while seizing the photograph from the older male’s hand.

Donghae didn’t say anything and casually linked their arms together again. This time he became a good company who explained everything he knew about a lot of things that caught Kyuhyun’s interest during the train trip.

_Take a picture, ride a train and link arm together with Kyuhyun. Completed!_

 

When the train trip had finished, Kyuhyun hastily pulled Donghae to another ride with the shortest queue.

Any ride was okay for him actually.

If only he could try everything, that would be perfect.

But, Kyuhyun knew it was nearly impossible.

And Sungmin hadn’t replied his message or anything.

_Is he so busy?_

Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to worry.

 

Their forth ride was Toon Town, a small but rip-roaring rollercoaster. While waiting for their turn, Donghae explained the thrilling ride for him. Kyuhyun was listening to his story very attentively. But the older male was getting too excited and Donghae ended up spilling the apple juice he had bought before queuing on his own coat.

“Oh, shit.” Donghae cussed.

Kyuhyun then told him to turn around so he could take the tissue and another thing from his backpack before wiping the stain for Donghae.

“I know this thing will happen to you, hyung.” He scolded lightly. “You aren’t a kid anymore.”

“An adult can be so reckless too, Hyun ah.”

At hearing that nickname, Kyuhyun’s breath suddenly hitched.

_It’s such a rare thing to hear you calling me that. I simply love it._

His mind suddenly travelled back to the time where the two of them were merely a little boy. Donghae was ten and Kyuhyun was eight. But there was no difference with their height, so people often mistook Kyuhyun as the older one. And he was indeed acting like an older brother towards Donghae more often.

_“Hyung! Be careful or—”_

Hearing a loud thud behind him, Kyuhyun hastily turned around to see little Donghae and his bicycle were already lying on the ground. And second later, little Kyuhyun, who was trying hard not to cry, came into the picture, running to help the fallen boy.

Now he remembered this, all too well.

Then Kyuhyun realized that his subconscious mind had forced himself to remember this almost forgotten memory.

He wasn’t queuing with Donghae anymore.

He was in another dimension.

And suddenly, the image before him froze for a moment.

He felt nostalgic.

He was filled with longing to return to his childhood life with Donghae.

That time was when his little self, who could only feel sadness and loneliness in his life, had finally found someone that he wanted to cherish for the rest of his life.

_He is a good friend._

_He is a good hyung for me._

_He is little Kyuhyun’s first love._

_He is Lee Donghae._

If only he could invent a time machine.

_Is there something wrong with his life in the past?_

Just then everything moved again and he found himself became the little Kyuhyun.

_“I’m okay.” little Donghae croaked, slightly wincing in pain._

_“Y-You are always this reckless!” Little Kyuhyun scolded while putting a band-aid on little Donghae’s bruised knee. “I know this will happen to you.”_

_“Why are you always this smart, Hyun ah?” Little Donghae chortled while patting the younger boy’s head._

_Little Kyuhyun took his time to stare at little Donghae’s face._

_“W-What will you do without me, huh?”_

_Please stop the time—_

With a loud call of his name, he came back to reality, full force. The very surprised Kyuhyun let out a loud gasp as he abruptly looked up only to see Donghae’s worried eyes staring at him intently.

The adult Donghae.

Kyuhyun wanted to stay with little Donghae for a little longer. He vanished too quickly much for his chagrin.

“Oh. I’m okay.” He lied to the male as he continued wiping the same stained spot on the older male’s coat again; his hand was shaking a little.

“You are clearly not.” Donghae said as he stopped the busy hand of the younger male. Kyuhyun didn’t reply. “Just let out your stress there, if you need to.” He referred to the rollercoaster.

“Well, I bet you will be the one who screams so loudly later.” He pointed out, tried to change the gloomy atmosphere between them.

“Are you very sure, Cho Kyuhyun?” Donghae asked conceitedly. Kyuhyun just simply shrugged his shoulders. “Alright, let’s make a bet. If I’m not screaming up there…” He watched the older direct his finger towards the highest spot of the ride’s lane. And he added, “YOU have to treat me a cotton candy, the biggest size.” Now the finger was pointing back at him. “Deal!?”

Kyuhyun linked his finger with Donghae’s as an agreement. “Make it two.”

 

Fast forward, Donghae was lost to Kyuhyun in the end.

Donghae could only restrain himself from not screaming just for ten seconds long (Kyuhyun minded to count in his head) before he lost it.

He even grabbed and hugged Kyuhyun’s bicep very tightly, like his life depended on it. Meanwhile, Kyuhyun had a good time to snigger at the frightened Donghae until his stomach hurt, but still trying to calm the male by hugging him around the waist.

They were being ridiculous, but it was fun nonetheless.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Kyuhyun asked when he saw the older male was staggering once they got off the rollercoaster.

“I need to—” Without bothering to finish his words, Donghae already ran for his life to the nearest toilet to throw up.

Shaking his head, Kyuhyun then walked towards the empty bench under the leafless tree to wait for the older male. He took a moment to massage his stiff calf. After queuing for hours, his legs were so tired already by now.

And he was hungry.

Ten minutes later, Donghae came out. His expression looked so grim and his hair was tousled. Kyuhyun pitied the older male, didn’t expect that today Donghae was still his little Donghae that he knew very dearly.

_He still throws up after getting into a rollercoaster._

Kyuhyun held back his laugh when Donghae was getting closer to his spot.

“Give me water, Hyun ah!”

So Kyuhyun did while trying to be unaffected with Donghae calling him by that nickname again. “Sit for a moment.” He asked and the older male complied. “Feeling better?”

Donghae nodded while swallowing down the water. “I feel like shit before.”

“The lane isn’t that bad though. You are just… as weak as ever.” Kyuhyun got bumped on his shoulder for pestering him. “Yah!”

“Shall we go to buy the cotton candy now?”

“Later. I’m too hungry for that.” Kyuhyun answered while rubbing his stomach.

“What do you want to eat then?” Donghae asked again while looking at Kyuhyun now. Kyuhyun looked at him back and just shrugged his shoulder. “Come with me.”

He took Kyuhyun’s hand and stood up, the latter followed suit a moment later.

They left the bench and Donghae casually dragged Kyuhyun to a café which sells everything that’s Mickey-shaped.

“This place is full packed, hyung. No seat for us.” Kyuhyun whined while tugging on Donghae’s hand.

“Yeah, too bad. But, we can buy the steamed-buns and eat them somewhere quitter. Are you okay with that?” Kyuhyun slightly nodded his head.

Thankfully they didn’t have to queue to make an order.

Sticking to Donghae’s side, Kyuhyun took his time to look over the food display and he almost drooled.

Donghae ordered two steam-buns for them both, but Kyuhyun quickly whispered in the older male’s ear that he wanted to eat another dishes too. The older male then pulled a face just to tease Kyuhyun but still let him to order what he wanted at last.

“You robbed me, Kyuhyun.” Donghae joked as he settled the foods they had ordered, mostly Kyuhyun’s, on another empty bench not far from the previous café. Meanwhile, Kyuhyun was busy enjoying his Mickey Corndog. “Come here and sit.” Donghae said while tapping the empty spot beside him.

“Thanks!” Kyuhyun chirped as he sat before taking another bite.

“Thankfully you look very cute when you are eating.” He winked, but failed to notice the blush on Kyuhyun’s cheeks. “Well, Kyu. Please let me to use my camera for a moment, yes?”

“Just do it.” Kyuhyun replied, trying not to look irritated by it.

And soon, Donghae was already so immersed with his hobby. Kyuhyun felt abandoned a little, but he carried on and just continued eating his corndog.

When the older male was busy taking the photos, Kyuhyun took his time to check on his phone, but still no message or even miscall.

_Where is he?_

He asked to himself, worry was clouding his heart once again.

Seeing Donghae was finished taking photos, Kyuhyun quickly shoved his phone into the pocket of his coat again. He then saw the latter smiling at him, so he quickly smiled back.

“Sorry, you must be getting bored already.” Donghae apologized.

“No. But, you have to eat, hyung.” Kyuhyun reminded while eating his Churro now. “What?” He couldn’t help but to ask when Donghae couldn’t stop smiling at him.

“Look at behind you.”

Donghae pointed his finger at random thing behind him.

He then turned his head to see and Donghae took his chance to steal a bite of Kyuhyun’s Churro.

A moment later, the younger male realized that he just got himself tricked by that.

“Ya!” Kyuhyun shouted while slapping his friend’s shoulder hardly when he noticed his Churro was much shorter. Donghae laughed loudly at Kyuhyun’s horrid expression. “Not cute, hyung.”

Well, he lied.

“I’m not. But you are.” Donghae interjected.

“S-Shut up.”

Feeling bashful, Kyuhyun kept his eyes on the cemented floor while stuffing his mouth with the remnant of the Mickey Churros on his possession.

For a moment, they stopped talking and bickering. Kyuhyun vaguely remembered how they two usually sat like this at the park near their neighborhood, enjoying their ice creams when they were still a kid. He then wondered if Donghae intentionally made this trip to take a stroll down memory lane.

Because Kyuhyun felt like he did. And he wanted to know if Donghae actually felt the same thing.

_This is so bad._

“Hyung. Y-You just called me with Hyun again before. Why?” He suddenly asked, feeling curious.

Kyuhyun let out an awkward laugh, waiting for Donghae who took forever to answer his question.

“Hmm? Because I can and I love to call you that when you are taking care of me.” It came out as a simple answer from Donghae’s mouth. Dissatisfied with the answer, Kyuhyun was ready to protest, but Donghae suddenly added, “And somehow, in the previous time, it didn’t feel right for me to call you that.”

“What does that supposed to mean?” His tone was very demanding.

“There was someone else.”

Kyuhyun hated riddles a lot. But he thought he knew the answer of this one.

 _Henry_.

Of course he didn’t know that he had guessed it wrong.

“Oh, I see.” Kyuhyun said to put the topic into a rest.

Feeling his phone buzzing on his pants pocket, Kyuhyun took out the device to check it. He frowned but couldn’t make it so obvious in front of Donghae. So he ignored what he just saw and randomly told his friend the current time.

“I can’t wait for the festival.” Donghae said airily. Kyuhyun suddenly felt a weigh on his chest. “You want the cotton candy now?” He asked him about the bet prize again and Kyuhyun gave a nod as the answer.

“Can I just wait here? My legs are very tired. Please…” Kyuhyun pleaded.

“Okay. No worries.” Donghae smiled while petting his thighs. “Can I have my bag for a moment?”

“Oh!” Kyuhyun quickly detached the latter’s bag from his back and gave it to the older male. “Just keep mine here. I need my stuffs.”

“Alright. So, do you want anything else?”

Kyuhyun was silent for a moment before he got reminded of something. “D-Donghae. Second photo, for you…”

The said male was confused for a second. But then he understood what Kyuhyun was trying to say. “Right now?” Kyuhyun nodded his head frantically. “Wait…” Donghae said as he took out the Polaroid camera from his camera bag.

Without any hesitant, Kyuhyun had shifted his body closer towards the older male. “Can I hug your arm?”

Donghae looked like he was taken aback by the request, but he let him.

Counting down from three, they smiled to the camera. Just then, Donghae pressed the shutter button and waited for the photo paper to come out.

 “I’ll be back quickly.” Donghae said as he sat up.

When he was about to go, he glanced back at Kyuhyun for a moment before walking back to stand in front of the younger male.

Surprised, Kyuhyun had to hold his breath when Donghae leaned down and brought his face closer to his. He was still frozen on his seat until the latter whispered that he had an eyelash resting right under his eyes while brushing it off with his thumb very gently.

Before the older male had the time to retract his hand from his face, on autopilot, Kyuhyun already launched himself at Donghae, circling his arms around his neck; face was buried on his broad chest.

“Thanks.” Kyuhyun muttered as he inhaled the sweet scent of Donghae. “Thanks for today. You make me happy.”

A moment later, Donghae hugged him back.

“Point sixth...” Donghae said in low whisper, but it was loud enough for Kyuhyun to hear actually.

He was confused as hell and about to ask the older male, but the question got swallowed when he felt Donghae pressed his lips on his cheek affectionately, let it linger for a moment.

Now Kyuhyun’s wall was slowly crumbling.

But he had no time to look back.

There would be more for him to see if he continues to take the step forward.

_Sungmin promised already._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it.s fluffy enough for your likes. and my hands currently hurt like hell. please wait for the next chapter patiently ;A; i really am trying to update frequently.


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